Beautifully Irrational

About to Pop!

2012-01-03T22:58:00.004+01:00

Another quick update...

First off, happy New Year to you! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and you're all set for 2012

I'm 39 weeks pregnant today. Our gender scan showed that we are expecting another baby girl, and we're so excited. This was a photo from our 4D scan:

And this was me on a day out at the beach a few days ago:

She's due on 10th January. I've been having lots of contractions, and have had many muscle pains along the way, so I'm beyond ready for her to arrive now. Apparently she has other ideas though, so at the moment it's more of a battle of wills!

Signing Off

2011-08-06T19:27:00.004+02:00

I've been absolutely impossible with keeping this blog updated. So much is going on in my life and I can't seem the find the time to post anymore. But here's a quick update on what's going on with me...

I'm pregnant again! I'm actually 17 weeks already, so almost halfway there. That's how silly this has got; I meant to announce my pregnancy on here as early as I did with my last, but I constantly forgot to do so. We had been actively trying for another baby for six months when I got pregnant, so we're over the moon. We are finding out the gender of the baby at our 20 week scan on 24th August, and we are so excited.

My daughter is now 15 months old; she's walking and talking and throwing tantrums to boot. She certainly keeps me on my toes! She has a gorgeous mop of blonde curls, and they bounce when she walks. She has a fantastic sense of humour, and I can't get over how much I love my little girl.

I'm trying to teach her a few baby-related things in time for her little brother/sister's birth; like treating a baby (or in this case, a doll) gently, about hugging and kissing it and generally being kind. I'm not sure it's working, although she's naturally fairly good-natured so we will see. There will be 21 months between them, so I think it's a nice age difference.

My husband and I recently celebrated our second wedding anniversary; how fast did that come around, and how much has happened since we tied the knot in 2009?! We celebrated by going to lunch, and in the evening we went to the cinema. The last time we've seen a film at the cinema was our first anniversary!

Anyway, all this is a little bittersweet, because I'm also here to announce that I'm going to stop posting on here now. Not because I don't want to, or don't enjoy it, because I do; it's just that I have no time at the moment, and with the new baby coming along in January, I get the impression I will have even less time.

Please feel free to leave messages if you wish; whenever you like. I will be checking in every so often to catch up on the blogs I follow, so I will be around; just silently stalking :)

Thanks for all the support and comments over the past few years; you've all been great! But for now (until I have more time), I'm signing off...

Back Home

2011-04-21T16:12:00.003+02:00

We're back home. I never thought I could call Hubby's Homeland "home" after only having lived here for a year, alas it has happened. I never ever thought I would love it more than I love my own country. I'm patriotic and I love my country, but the way of life here is so much easier; so laid back and... nice.

Anyway, we're settled again (although my suitcase doesn't seem to think so; it's been sitting in the bathroom doorway for the past 2 weeks awaiting an unpacking). The day after we returned, we had to baby proof the house, since Baby C is so mobile. When we were away, she started crawling and hanging onto things when put against them. She also started using a walker, and became pretty good at walking with help from adults.

Now though, she doesn't stop. She pulls herself up on things, makes her way around the room with them and is reaching every nook and cranny; our things are not safe! It's only a matter of time before she's walking unaided. I'm so proud of her!

Next week will be her first birthday. I know, it doesn't feel like it should be; where did the time go? I've been planning her birthday, and actually getting quite excited about the big day. We've invited our friends and family to the beach for the afternoon, and we've bought everything we need to make her birthday cake etc. Now we just need the horrible weather to clear up...

Back to Work

2011-02-28T15:22:00.003+01:00

...For now.

It's official; I am a terrible blogger. It's been 4 months since my last post! I am still here, I promise, though not as much as I would like. Let's see what's been happening...

The last time I posted, my dad and brother had just been to visit us. Well, in November we went back to Homeland # 1 for almost a month. It was only supposed to be a three week trip, but we got caught in the snowfall, and our return flight was cancelled.

My dad flew in on 20th December and stayed right through until New Years Day. It was lovely to have him with us for Christmas. Baby C had no idea what was going on at Christmas, although I like to think she enjoyed herself.

At the moment I'm back at work. Well, sort of. I'm still officially a stay at home mother, but I am working my notice after my maternity leave. Unfortunately that's meant that I've had to fly back to Homeland # 1 with Baby C, while leaving Hubby in Hubby's Homeland (as he's also working) to do this. I started back at work on 15th February, and I finish working on 30th March.

Unfortunately Baby C has waited until now to pass a few milestones, so naturally Hubby is sad that he's missed her crawling and her first teeth, but it was unavoidable.

Speaking of which, Baby C is now ten months old. Count them: ten months!! I don't know where the time went! Here are a few recent photos of her:

Happy Hallowe'en!

2010-10-31T21:26:00.005+01:00

Holy cow, I need to start posting more often.

I've been busy lately; my dad flew in! He stayed for a week, and I was so happy to see him again, and he was excited to see Baby C again (though he tried to hide it).

Baby C is now 6 months old - how on earth did that happen? Can we rewind, because I'm not comfortable with how easily time seems to slip away these days...

She's blowing raspberries, giggling, sitting up (almost unaided), eating lots, rolling over, and generally causing havoc all over the place. I dread to think what things will be like when she's crawling, because I can hardly keep up with her as it is.

In three weeks I will be flying out to Homeland # 1 (my home country) to visit family and friends. Baby C will be meeting both of my grandmothers (her great-grandmothers) for the first time during this trip, so I'm really excited. This will also be the first time she's met our extended family (my aunts, uncles and cousins), who have so far, only seen her on Facebook.

Anyway, back to Hallowe'en... I realise a lot of you get really into this event, but I'm a real product of my parents, and I don't care much for it, so this evening I've banished myself to the house, lowered the shutters and am praying no mini witches or ghouls darken my door in search of sweets... because I didn't buy any. I know...

Source

Ahh well...

Weaning!

2010-10-07T00:24:00.005+02:00

I'm afraid it'a a little long-winded, so forgive me if I don't go into the details, but we are officially weaning!

Baby Girl started life as a very average baby; 7lb 8oz at birth, and bang on the 5oth centile thereafter. Until recently. Over the past month or two she has been slipping centiles, and is currently on the 15th centile. Not too bad you may say, because many premature babies start off in the lower portion of the centile charts, but Baby Girl was previously very average, so for her to be slipping now is a bit of a concern.

She has also been going off her milk. I know; not exactly great timing.

The decision was therefore taken to put her onto a hypoallergenic formula, to see if she had a milk/soya allergy, or intolerance, or to check if she had a subtle form of colic, as she's been showing a few signs of pain when feeding.

We also took the decision, along with a dietician's advice, to wean her slightly early. I got very excited, spending ages in the kitchen cooking up a storm, and I have been feeding her pureed carrot and banana, as well as baby porridge. And she loves it! Here are a few of the best photos:

Teething Woes

2010-09-28T22:05:00.006+02:00

Where has my happy baby gone? She's been replaced by a grouchy, grizzly, dribbly little monster. A gorgeous little monster, but scary nonetheless.

Baby Girl is teething.

I've suspected it for a while, but now I'm sure. Well, as sure as I can be, considering she can't tell me what hurts. She's been like this all day; she's happy one minute, screaming the next. She's off her milk, off her dummy and off Captain George (her favourite toy). There's nothing I can do to pacify this little hurricane.

I tell a lie; she likes to use my finger as a chew toy. If I let her, she will chew on my nail until the cows come home. Last time, I was there for an hour.

And the world seems to be working against her, because each time she drifts off to sleep, the phone rings and subsequently the caller hangs up just before I go to answer it. Then this is what happens:

Not happy.

So I gave her a dose of Calpol, camomile tea and she finally drifted off to sleep. I hope that's it for the night. There best be a whopping great tooth at the end of all this...

Shake Up

2010-09-25T01:42:00.003+02:00

I felt it was time for a shake up, so I've renamed my blog. It's a little more apt considering the focus of my life at the moment.

What do you think?

News on the Housing Front...

2010-09-21T21:53:00.003+02:00

I was going to update you on the housing situation, but all in all, nothing's really changed. We still haven't received the paperwork for the purchase of Hubby's grandmother's house, so we're still living cramped in this little one bedroom place.

The flat we're in feels more claustrophobic each day, because as Baby Girl gets bigger, she requires more space, and we have to deal with less. I'm happy to do that, because she's more important, and if she needs floor space, it's our responsibility to find it for her. It just means that nothing else can be in the room but her!

I'm going to a friend's daughter's third birthday party tomorrow, and I went shopping for a gift this afternoon. Do you remember Sylvanian Families? I used to love them when I was a child, and I've already considered buying them for Baby Girl when she's older. Anyway, I bought these ones:

And I have to admit, I was a little sad to have to wrap them, because I would have quite liked to keep them. I never really did grow up!

National Day

2010-09-17T00:41:00.006+02:00

Sometimes I worry that life has got away from me. When we were planning the wedding, I started writing a journal, so I could remember it for the rest of my life. When I got pregnant, I continued to write about my feelings, excitement etc, but with the morning sickness, it all went to pot on our honeymoon. Since then I've printed off all the online journals I had, and have been trying to add them to my real journal ever since.

I now have over a year to catch up on. And because I'm so behind, I've not been writing much recenlty, and now I get the feeling that I'm losing all of the precious memories of Baby Girl. She grows so quickly, and it's so easy to forget the "little things". I say little things because to the world, they are small, but to her, and to me, they are massive.

She laughs, and it lights up my day. She blows a raspberry, and I want to grab my camera. She sighs softly in her sleep and I want to squeeze her and never let her go. All these tiny things, I'm forgetting.

My conclusion: I need to blog more.

On another note; after my 2lb loss last week, I put on 3.5lb this week. I am beyond annoyed, because I'm now officially into new territory. I have never been this heavy, and I'm not impressed. So back on the diet I go...

Part of the reason for my gain is because we celebrated National Day last week. National Day normally comprises of a political rally (which I go to but don't listen to), followed by lunch with Hubby's family, and then whatever else you fancy. THis year Hubby was working, but finished at 4:30pm, so in the evening we went to his parents' house for a BBQ.

On this day, you also dress yourself in the national colours of red and white. I cannot tell you how much fun I had shopping for Baby Girl, and using National Day as an excuse. She had 7 outfit changes, just in case of a pooh, sick or dribble incident, and she actually went through 4 of them.

And just a few more to keep you filled in; these were taken a couple of days ago:

Round Up

2010-09-09T00:05:00.004+02:00

Okay, okay; I didn't stick to my promise of blogging more regularly, but I'm still around. It's only a short one for now, because it's gone midnight and I should really be tucked up in bed. So time to give an all-round catch up...

I've had a lovely summer so far. I say so far, because here it's still summer. The days don't really turn autumnal until late October. Day-to-day it's another story; catch me in the street and I'll tell you I'm hotter than the sun; catch me in the morning and I'll tell you I'm more tired than I've ever been, but really? Really, I couldn't be happier.

The hot weather is beginning to ease off now, and while it's still in the high twenties and humid; it's bearable. I celebrated my 26th birthday this summer; I didn't do anything special, but I enjoyed time with Baby Girl, and she gave me plenty of smiles to keep me happy.

Speaking of Baby Girl, it's been such a whirlwind! She's almost 4 1/2 months old, and it literally feels like a few weeks. She's found her voice and squeals for hours on end, before she collapses and falls asleep. She also laughs; a really gorgeous filthy laugh that in turn, makes me laugh too. When she laughs, my heart fills up and I cannot describe how much love I have for this precious little thing. She's also learned to blow raspberries. When I first caught her trying, I was really excited for the day she would manage it, but now she has, I've realised that it just means I have to be evern quicker to wipe her face, because if I leave her, she ends up looking like a rabid dog!

She's got fantastic head control now, and I'm just waiting for her to perfect sitting up unaided. She sits on my knee for ages - I think she likes waching TV - oops. And this morning she rolled from her back to her front for the first time. I'm so proud of her.

Hubby is enjoying his job, which makes me happy. When he gets home I ask about his day, with the hope that he will be able to entertain me with crazy things that have happened. And as for me, there's not much to tell. I'm gradually feeling more at home in Hubby's Homeland, but obviously it will never be the same as Homeland # 1.

Some of you may recall that in the run-up to my wedding, I was on Weight Watchiers, and I would post about my progress here. Well, I'm happy (but also kinda not happy) to announce that I'm officially back on the wagon. I started last Wednesday (1st September), so I've been going for a week already. There aren't any meetings here though, so I'm doing it with a friend here, who had a baby three weeks after Baby Girl was born. The good news is that I lost 2lbs! I celebrated by having a scone with cream and jam for breakfast. Well earned I think...

You can follow the rest of my weight loss progress here, or my clicking on the "Lara's Weight Loss" icon to the side of my blog posts.

A Year Ago Today

2010-08-25T22:36:00.005+02:00

This day last year, I found out I had my beautiful baby girl growing inside me. Obviously that day changed my life, and here I am one year later, mother to a gorgeous girl who continues to amaze me each and every day.

Some days have been hard, and others have been like a dream, but I wouldn't change a single second. I love spending time with my daughter, and I love watching her grow. I just wish I could pause the special moments and experience them forever, because like everyone says; they're over far too quickly.

Baby Girl turns 4 months old on Friday; and what a whirlwind of a four months it has been. I just hope the next four months feel a little longer, because if it continues like this, she may as well have her birthday tomorrow, because it will only feel like a day has passed until she's a year old. Phew!

Bumbo!

2010-07-25T00:04:00.003+02:00

If that smile doesn't say approval; I don't know what does. Money well spent!

Window Shopping in Ikea

2010-07-23T22:40:00.005+02:00

Window shopping in Ikea is never a good idea, because I walk away wanting everything. Hubby saw an advert on the TV this morning and suddenly decided that despite our shortage of money, he wanted to have a wander around the wonder that is Ikea.

I don't know if I've explained our housing situation already, but I'll tell you again. We're applying to buy a flat which is currently occupied by Hubby's grandmother, and is leased from the government. They allow long-term residents, and their family to purchase the flat for a cut-down price. The flat in question is on the third floor, has two bedrooms and is ideal in every way for us to raise Baby C. Hubby's grandmother finds the stairs hard to contend with now she's becoming less confident on her feet, and she doesn't need the extra bedroom, so wants to move to a small, one bedroomed, ground floor flat, preferably nearer to her daughter (Hubby's mother).

The flat we're currently living in is all of those things, so we're hoping to swap. For that reason, we're kind of in limbo with our living situation at the moment; we don't want to change this flat too much, because we know we will be moving, and it will have been a waste. But on the other hand, we really have no time frame as to when we can move, because the paperwork is taking it's sweet time to come through.

So when we go to Ikea (I don't really know what we were thinking), all we can do is window shop and dream of the future and what we might be able to have. We did fall in love with this item though:

Now, I realise it doesn't look like much, but it's exactly what we need. We have a little round table in the corner of the room, but because of the amount of things we have, we can't get it clear of clutter. We want a desk to be able to work on our laptops, because let's be honest; your lap is the last place you want your laptop when it's 35c outside. We would also love to raise Baby C to see that having dinner around a table (even if it is a small one) is normal.

And of course the massive shelves allow us to store some of said clutter. They also sell boxes which fit into the shelves, so that they look a little tidier. We're thinking of using red boxes to contrast with the white.

It took a lot of will power not to buy it there and then. But it was made a little easier, because I was looking forward to our next stop, where I was about to make my next purchase:

A BUMBO!!!

For those of you who haven't seenn these before, they are basically little chairs that you can sit your baby in for feeding, for playing, or just so they can sit up and look around. They take up less space than a highchair (which was my main reason for getting one), they're lighter, and they're just so cute. I have been after one of these since before Baby C was born, and believe me when I say it's been no easy feat.

I have looked high and low, near and far, and enquired in all the franchises around here that I know should stock it, but to no avail. Nobody has even been willing to order it in for me, even when I offered to pay extra for shipping and taxes. So it's taken a little shop 2 hours away from Hubby's Homeland to be able to find it. And they only had this scary bogey green colour (it's the colour of Shrek), and I paid well over the odds for it, but I don't care, because it's a Bumbo, and Baby C likes it!

Three Month Check

2010-07-22T23:31:00.007+02:00

I'm here, I promise! I've just had a look at my blog and noticed that I've only posted four times since Baby C was born. Four! This has got to change.

So from now on, I vow to post more regularly. I can't promise you I will post weekly, but certainly more than once a month. So here goes, a quick catch up...

Baby C is about to turn three months old; I can hardly believe it. She changes every day, and I look back at the first photos of her, and she doesn't even look like the same person. She started smiling when she was siz weeks old, and now you can't stop her grinning back at you. You can just look in her direction and she's already flashing a mad grin your way; she's incredible.

And she chats more than ever. It's getting to the point where you chat to her and she responds. She clearly has a lot to say; if only I could understand her!

She's much more aware of things around her now, and she would much rather be sitting up looking around than lying down all the time. So I try to sit her up on the sofa, and then this happens:

I guess it's a bit too exciting for her after all! She's also paying more attention to her toys, which is good. We bought her a toy cow, which she seems to love, so that was a good investment. She was given three comfort blankets when she was born, so I pulled them out of storage and gave them to her, only to find that she preferred her muslin square

I can tell she's going to be one of those kids that prefers to play with the box, not the toy. Never mind. I suppose I can always pass them on to a friend in the future.

Her head control is getting much better. She doesn't take too well to tummy time unless she's lying on someone's chest, at which point she's looking around at everything, her eyes wide and her mouth open in wonder. We bought her a doorway bouncer a few weeks ago, and while her head control isn't completely there, we put her in it for a few minutes today; just long enough for a couple of photos:

It will be at least another month until she's able to use it unaided, so for now she'll have to make do with her activity mat.

In other news, we went back to Homeland # 1 to introduce Baby C to the rest of our family and friends. We had such a great week, even if it was chaos from start to finish. We were zipping around the country trying to see as many people as possible in the limited time we had. My mum, dad and younger brother had already met Baby C, but for my stepmum, older brother and sister-in-law it was the first time, so I made sure I got lots of photos for her when she's older.

We also made sure we saved enough space in our suitcases for a shopping spree. I'm actually a little ashamed of how much we brought back with us...

And that's just the baby stuff. But in my defence, we bought an entire bed-in-a-bag, bath towel, rucksack, and we were given a whole pile of clothes from a friend, so I guess it's not as bad as it looks! I only bought myself a top, and that was only because Baby C threw up on me when we were out, and I had nothing to change into, but Hubby bought a couple of things for himself, and we bought some DVDs, which we ended up having to leave behind with my mum until next time because of the weight restrictions.

Travelling with an infant was harder than I thought it would be, but in a way it was also easier. Dealing with a baby and an airport was hard work, but she was so good in the plane, I can be nothing less than proud of her. She cried a little during take-off on the flight out, but we gave her a bottle and she went to sleep. Landing in Homeland # 1 and the return flight, we didn't hear a peep. She was as good as gold.

the rest of it is just day-to-day stuff which, for now, can be forgotten. Now that I hope to post more frequently, you will be hearing about a more varied selection of events, opposed to the baby updates all the time!

I jsut want to add that if you're still reading along; thanks for being patient with me. I'm so busy, but haven't stopped thinking about all my fellow bloggers, and I really hope to be back here properly now.

Baby Shopping is Not the Same as Mummy Shopping

2010-06-15T21:53:00.007+02:00

Baby C is 7 weeks and counting. I now know what everyone means when they say they grow so fast. It seems she's changing on a daily basis, and I can hardly keep up. Her feet are starting to reach the end of her buggy, her socks no longer fit, her bodysuits won't stretch over her nappy and she's realising that her dummy is not, and should not be given in place of food. Hmmm...

I'm so excited to be going home in a couple of weeks. I haven't been back since we left in February, and I am so looking forward to seeing everyone again, and for them to meet the baby. My brother, SIL and stepmum still haven't met her, as well as all my extended family. My dad said we should try to arrange a get together with his side, and hopefully we can do this on one of the weekends. Shopping for flights is proving to be expensive; it doesn't look like we can do it for less than £500 ($800). So much for being able to fly over there every 8 weeks.

I can't seem to stop shopping for baby C! Every time I go into town I look around for clothes for her. She's finally starting to grow out of a few things, and I'm realising that perhaps I shouln't have spent so much money on buying newborn clothes!I have so many things for her to wear now (I think even more clothes than I have!); I have decided to take advantage of the sales and shop ahead for next summer. However, I am finding more items in the full priced section than the sale. Oops. I've ordered a few things online and had them sent to my mum's house, and will bring them back with me when I see her at the end of the month.

So far C has been sleeping in a moses basket on loan to us from a friend, but at the rate she's growing, she won't be able to fit in it much longer. We have been discussing getting a cot for ages, but didn't do much about it until the last week, where we have been discussing it and looking at options available to us. We measured our bedroom yesterday and found it was just about able to house a double bed as well as a cot, so we scoured the websites of the local businesses and ORDERED IT TODAY! This is the one we're getting:

It will take up to 5 weeks to come into stock, and when it does we will put her in it straight away. I'm so excited, because we can finally start thinking about proper bedding. I can't afford any of the cute sets, but I'm hoping to make a few nice things, and just get some coloured sheets to match. There's a brand in the UK called Cath Kidston, that does beautiful fabrics:

http://www.cathkidston.co.uk/c-104-cotton-duck.aspx

But they're really expensive at £18 ($25) per metre. It's too expensive for me to make an entire item from, but I was thinking of getting a metre and teaming it with a cheaper fabric and making a quilt. It's only an idea at the moment, I don't know if I will have the time for anything like that, but I would love to give C something like that.

Snatching a Quiet Moment

2010-05-31T22:19:00.003+02:00

I thought I'd come onto Blogger while I have a peaceful moment. Not much to update you on, but just to let you know that I'm doing well and busy juggling... everything. Chloë is almost 5 weeks old now, and growing fast. I took her to be weighed last week, and she was a whopping 9lb 7oz; 2lb up on her birth weight. I've been combi feeding her for a month, but on Monday we made the permanent swtich to formula, due to a number of reasons. I feel guilty for my choice, but I know I made the right decision.

Hubby started work last week, and so Chloë and I had our first week at home together. Things could have gone smoother, but Chloë decided it would be interesting to test me by throwing a fit for hours on end and refusing to settle. Here are the latest photos:

First trip to the beach:

In her bouncer:

Tummy Time:

Dressed up:

The First Week

2010-05-05T09:19:00.002+02:00

The past week has gone by so fast, I can hardly believe it.

Chloe is a week old, and already she's changed. For the first few days we were muddling our way through caring for her, but now it seems we have her a little more figured out. That doesn't mean we have this down to a tea; far from it, but we're understanding a lot more, and she's getting less frustrated waiting for us to figure out what she wants.

I had a lot of trouble breastfeeding at the beginning, which made things a lot harder. She would be so angry, and I would be at a loss for how I could help her, but slowly slowly, we're getting there and things are going a little smoother. Hubby has been incredible, and for that I am so grateful. He's patient and he reminds me that she's only frustrated because she can't figure out how to feed, and not because of anything I'm doing wrong.

We've gone to town a few times, and when we get home without having come into any obstacles, I feel pretty proud. I never thought something so simple would give me such satisfaction!

This is baby Chloë at a week old:

Life Suddenly Got Serious

2010-05-02T07:32:00.005+02:00

First of all; happy due date to me! It seems like only a couple of months since we found out we were expecting a baby, but time really has flown. I know I said I would update you on the pregnancy in my next post, but it turns out I'm here to announce the birth of my beautiful baby....

GIRL!

I went into labour on Tuesday 27th April, and Baby Girl was born on the same day; weighing 7lb 8oz, 48cm long and with lots of blonde hair. I know everyone says it, but I am so in love.

I woke at around 8am on Tuesday feeling cramps in my lower belly. Although not painful, I couldn't sleep through them, so chose to get up. When I got up they intensified, so hoping it was the real thing, I showered and waited as long as I could before waking Hubby. The poor guy had a migraine, so he was almost as useless as me as we tried to finish packing my hospital bags.

We had our 39 week appointment with the midwife at noon, and decided we would still try to go. As we were walking to the hospital, my mother-in-law passed and picked us up, taking us the rest of the way. The midwife took one look at me and realised I was probably in the early stages of labour, but too early to stay, so advised us to go home and wait it out there.

We headed back to spend the afternoon with my in-laws, but straight after lunch I went to bed, and then the contractions got stronger. You may know that my mother-in-law was a midwife until her retirement, so she spent an hour or so coaching me through my contractions and reminding me to breathe; something you're not normally coached on here until you get to the hospital.

When the contractions were 5 minutes apart and lasting a minute each, we headed to hospital. Walking into the hospital was hard, because the contractions were coming every minute or so at that point, and I was having to stop and breathe through them before I could continue.

Arriving, my lovely midwife Tina booked me in, and I got straight into a warm bath, took some co-codamol and waited it out. Pretty soon I was on the gas and air (good stuff; I strongly recommend it). When my waters broke in the bath, I got the "sudden urge to push", which I promise you, you can't ignore.

They wheeled me through to the delivery to examine me, and smacked me into the door on the way in... whoops!

At this point I was inhaling the gas and air so much so that I was falling asleep with it in my mouth. I heard them saying I was fully dilated, and in my head I was laughing at the poor woman that had to deliver a baby without any more pain relief. Had I not been so high at the time I would have panicked, realising it was me that had to push this baby out with nothing more than Entonox in my system.

I spent about 40 minutes pushing, and towards the end I was getting lazy, telling them I couldn't possibly do it (I bet everyone says that). And when I thought I'd pushed out half the baby's head, they tried to motivate me further by saying "you're doing so well, we can see a coin-sized part of the baby's head!"

Then I started freaking out again. That much pain for a coin-sized amount of head?!

But Tina and my mother-in-law were incredible; they knew exactly what to say to spur me on, and I found the determination to get there when Tina told me she wanted the baby out in the next contraction. She only meant the head, but somehow (I still don't know how), I managed to have the entire baby born in the next contraction.

The midwives had to catch her because she came out so fast!

My labour was 6 hours, but only 2 hours were spent at the hospital. I spent three days in hospital, and came home yesterday. Hubby and his family have been so wonderful while I've been away; painting, cleaning and clearing the house for our return, and it's finally starting to look like a home fit for our little family.

But now for the photos; my beautiful baby daughter, Chloe:

10 Days and Counting

2010-04-22T21:34:00.006+02:00

First of all, let me apologise for not having updated in weeks. The trip back up to get our things went... interestingly. You would think that after the events of the trip here, we would have a problem free time going back, but that wouldn't be any fun, would it?

We broke down... again. It turns out there were a few problems with the borrowed van, the worst of which being a busted suspension, which we discovered on the second day. Luckily we found a garage that could fix it same day, so we were only delayed by 5 hours before we were back on our way. Other than that the trip was largely uneventful, and we made it back to Hubby's Homeland on the fifth day.

We have since unpacked a few things, although the majority of our things are still in boxes stacked up in the hallway:

We're having to ignore it for now though, because we have more things to deal with...

DIY

At almost 39 weeks pregnant, this is our sitting room:

You didn't think I would be that disorganised, did you? You see, unfortunately while the house we are living in is decent enough, the paint was peeling off in the lounge and bedroom, so we thought it more sensible to sort it out before the baby was born, opposed to having it breathing in the dust and paint fumes.

Well, that was the plan at least, but it's taking longer than we thought it would, because it's not simply a case of repainting, but removing the old plaster, replastering, sanding the walls to smooth them for painting, and finally repainting. We had hoped it would only be a small percentage of the room, but it seems to be around 60% of the room affected. We're halfway through sanding the walls, and I hope with all my might that it will be done by the time I bring the baby home.

The due date is 10 days away

It's lucky in some respects that Hubby still has no work, because he is making himself useful doing all of this DIY, so I can't complain much. In regards to his job; he had the maths and English tests, followed by the fitness and roleplay in March, and he finally had the interview yesterday. They have said it will be up to three weeks before we hear back, so for now we're stuck in limbo. The good news is that Hubby will have time at home with the baby once it's born; something many dads don't get, so I'm happy - even if our savings are dwindling.

I will update on the pregnancy in my next post, but for now, I just wanted to let you all know that we are doing well and manically trying to ready ourselves for parenthood.

Setting Sail... Again

2010-03-27T19:53:00.002+01:00

Just a quick note to let you know that Hubby and I will be leaving to collect our things tomorrow, at long last. It's been much much longer than I thought this would all take, but I'm just so happy we're finally on the way to getting our things. Once we return to Hubby's Homeland, we can start sorting out our things, I can wear some different clothes, and we can round up all the baby things we have and work out what we still need to buy.

Fingers crossed everything will go well, and I hope to be back on Thursday

4D Scan Success!

2010-03-19T23:11:00.006+01:00

We have success!

Our beautiful baby was kicking around this week, however it seems he/she likes to play games, because despite being awake, it was reluctant to show us much of it's face. We did get these photos though:

It looks like we will have to wait until the birth to find out what he/she really looks like. But we did get to see him/her making licking motions, opening and closing his/her eyes and mouth, and even dancing at one point. I've added the video below, if you have the patience to watch it!

Closer to Getting Our Things Back!

2010-03-16T10:50:00.004+01:00

We've heard back about our van in France, and they've quoted us 2000 euros (£1810 or $2730) to have the reconditioned engine fitted. The quote is in addition to the £750 ($1130) the engine will cost to buy and ship to France. We can't find that kind of money, so our only option now is to have the van scrapped and drive up to France with another van to retrieve our belongings.

Unfortunately it's caused a lot of frustration, because Hubby has replaced an engine single-handedly in the past, and, if he has the right equipment, it can take him 6 hours start to finish. The quote they've given us was based on 18 hours' labour, which we know is a con, but unfortunately they hold all the cards. It's illegal to tow a broken down vehicle through Spain, so we can't tow it to Hubby's Homeland. There isn't really any other way to get it here.

So we're making plans to travel back to France now. We've been offered a van by a friend, so we're just ensuring all the paperwork is sorted before we make our move. Parts of Europe are quite strict, so if we get pulled over, and it's registered in someone else's name, we could be in for more problems if they think it's stolen. So once that's all sorted, we will be on our way again. I estimate it to take around 4 days round trip, and hope to be leaving sometime this weekend.

In other news, I feel absolutely massive this week:

I'm surprised how much I've grown over the past week, but I'm definitely feeling it. The stretchmarks are taking over, and the aches and pains are coming. Hubby now needs to help me up off the sofa, and since we're sleeping on a mattress on the floor (our bed frame is on the van), I may as well be mountain climbing to get up out of it to go to the toilet during the night! But amongst it all, it's a good feeling. The baby is kicking lots. It will randomly stretch out, and make my belly a weird shape, which Hubby still finds alien-like!

4D Scan; Take Two

2010-03-11T19:50:00.005+01:00

We went for our 4D scan today. It was originally booked for last Thursday (the doctor only visits the surgery once a week, on Thursdays), but when the doctor was sick, it had to be postponed to this Thursday.

During our 21 week scan the baby was VERY lazy, and he/she was like that again! I drank half a litre of lemonade beforehand too - It's official; sugar does nothing to this baby! Unfortunately while we got to see the baby, there was a problem with the equipment and the DVD they gave us was blank, so I don't have any photos or videos. I called them and they have told us to go back next week Thursday (for round three), where they will repeat the scan and give a new DVD.

The baby currently weighs around 2kg (4.5lbs), has Hubby's nose, big beautiful eyes, lots of hair (which I assume will be blonde because we were both blonde as children), and was sleeping resting on his/her hands the entire time. He/she did wink and yawn, but that's about it. The doctor checked the heartbeat, the heart itself and brain and all appear healthy.

He took the measurements from the head (1 week behind), the abdomen (2 weeks ahead) and the femur (1 week ahead), and estimates a birth between 30th April and 5th May. Of course, the baby will come whenever it likes, so it doesn't necessarily mean anything. The doctor said he is 90% sure of the sex, but Hubby wouldn't let me find out... again. Go team yellow!

All Moved, But... Where Are Our Things?

2010-03-11T09:01:00.006+01:00

I can't believe how long it's been since I last posted. I am still here; just. So much has happened, which I promise to update you on in the coming weeks. Life has been so busy with the move, but now I have more time to be able to post, so here goes. I will do it gradually...

I'm now 32 weeks pregnant. The time has gone so quickly already, so I dread to think how fast the last few weeks will go! I am now this big:

And I feel like if I get any bigger, I will explode. Looking at me, I still have plenty of space to grow, but the aches are coming thick and fast now, so I wonder what I will be feeling like in another 8 weeks! I have lots of stretchmarks, but luckily the majority are on the underside of my bump, so I am in blissful ignorance of their presence!

In regards to the move, I worked up until 12th February, and we spent the weekend packing our things. I kept out all the important things until the last minute, but Hubby decided to pack everything left in unmarked boxes, "boxes of crap" he called them, resulting in me losing my underwear, maternity clothes and toiletries.

Anyway, we officially moved out of our place on Monday 15th February, and moved in with my mum for the week while we tied up loose ends, met up with family etc. Hubby's parents came up to England to meet us and help share the load in their car. Hubby's mum is a retired midwife, and it was reassuring to have her on the journey with me; just in case something happened and I went into early labour.

We left England on 20th February, and made the journey to Homeland # 2 to see my grandmother, aunts and a few cousins, before continuing our journey through Europe and down to Hubby's Homeland. However we didn't get any further than Poitiers in France before the van broke down on us. We hadn't expected it, since we had taken it for a full service and had repairs done on it before leaving England, and everything seemed to be in working order. But now it seems the engine has gone. Completely.

The garage in France quoted us £5,000 for a new engine; a cost we couldn't afford. They then offered to scrap the van for us, but they couldn't do anything without the vehicle documentation; something we didn't have. The person we bought the van from was really lazy in submitting the form to the DVLA, and therefore we hadn't received copies of the documentation before we left England. Now we were in limbo. We promised to get the documents to them, but in the meantime we couldn't wait there in France, so we all crammed into Hubby's parents' car, and continued the journey to Hubby's Homeland with only the basics:

* Travel clothes (consisting of sweats and "Guinness" T-Shirts)
* Basic toiletries
* My medical notes
* Jewellery
* One laptop

To this day we are still surviving on these things alone. The van is still in France, but now we are debating whether to get a reconditioned engine sent from England to be fitted into the van, and for it to be given a new lease of life; or to scrap it as originally intended. The paperwork still hasn't reached us, but it is in the mail as we speak. We hope to receive it tomorrow.

People are asking why we don't just scrap it and be donw with it, and I can only tell them it's because of the costs. We would have to pay to hire a van to take us back up to France, transfer all our things over, possibly pay to have the old van scrapped, drive back to Hubby's Homeland (all the time paying toll roads and hotels), only to have to give the hired van back and buy another vehicle here. Vehicles here come with a minimum price tag of £3,000. You can't seem to get an old banger over here like you can in England. It's for that reason that we're now considering paying to have the van fixed, and then at least we still have a vehicle at the end of all this.

The choice is obviously a gamble, and we're still liaising with both the seller of a reconditioned engine in England, and the garage that has our van in France, as to what the best option will be. I will keep you posted.

But on to today; we are going for our 4D scan in less than 3 hours. I need to get some lemonade to wake up the baby...

I'll update you more the next time I post.

Latest Bump

2010-01-23T13:02:00.003+01:00

Here's a shot of my 26 week bump:

After the advice of my midwife, I took off all my rings a couple of days ago, and yesterday I went out and bought a sterling silver band to wear instead. At least if I have to have it cut off because of my fingers swelling, then it's not my real wedding ring.

100th Post, and...

2010-01-22T14:46:00.005+01:00

100 days until our baby is due!

And I didn't even plan these milestones to coincide. Weird.

In other news, my mum reminded me that when we were kids, we used to fall asleep to Dire Straits.

My parents put it down to having heard it while we were in the womb. It turns out Hubby also loves Dire Straits, and they are the only band we can agree on. I thought therefore that it would be fitting to get the baby accustomed to their music sooner rather than later, and who knows, if it works, we may have a quiet baby on our hands.

Hah! I should be so lucky.

But as it turns out, the baby kicked up a storm last night when I put the CD into my laptop. So I've concluded that it either loves it, or was desperately trying to swim away. Answers on a postcard...

I Love Naughty Things

2010-01-21T21:31:00.007+01:00

You heard it; I love naughty things - especially Juicy Lucy stationery:

You can see the full selection (of naughty ones, obviously) here.

Now I just need to figure out which one to give Hubby for Valentine's Day...

In One Month Today...

2010-01-20T21:30:00.007+01:00

We will be leaving the UK and moving abroad to start a new life in Hubby's Homeland. One month! I'm anxious, I'm scared... if I'm honest I don't really want to go, but I'm an adult and I'm about to be a parent. I have to get used to doing things I don't want to do.

Anyway, ignore me. I'm sure things will work out well in the end.

I've been back in the UK for 4 days already, but only just had an opportunity to update you all. The trip to Hubby's Homeland went well. We didn't manage to sort out all we had hoped, but we got the basics sorted.

First of all, it was great to see the in-laws. We hadn't seen them since the wedding in July, so we had a lot to catch up on, and I had a belly to show them. Hubby's Homeland is a place where everyone knows everyone, and good news travels fast, so it seems that wherever we went, someone was congratulating us.

The situation with the house is still not settled, but I don't think it will be for a while. We've probably got a temporary base in the one-bed flat, but it's so tiny it really isn't practical for 2 people with a baby. I think I measured the bedroom at 3m x 3.5m; it will fit a double bed if you have nothing else in the room. For that reason, we would need to swap the bedroom over with the lounge, which is slightly bigger, so we could get the cot into the room, and have a really small lounge. It will be okay for a few months, but certainly nothing long-term.

After that, we have the possiblity of Hubby's grandmother's house, which is a 2 bedroom flat near the town centre; but she would be living there too. That's not such a big problem until the baby needs its own room. Oh, and she doesn't speak English. And I only speak English.

Cue major awkwardness.

That's the only thing I'm worried about, but I know that it's the most likely eventuality, so I need to get used to the idea. Trouble is, while we would be buying the house from her, and paying the mortgage, I would feel like it wasn't our place, and would feel like I feel when I live with the in-laws - like I can't be myself. It's not ideal in that respect, so I'm not totally happy, but it's a house, and it's the baby that matters.

Hubby's Homeland is also a very hard place to get a house, so I am grateful we've been offered something. We know a couple who applied for housing when they got engaged. They've had 2 weddings, a long TTC journey, and their baby is now 5 months old, and they are still waiting for a house of their own. So I can't complain.

I've asked Hubby if we can stay in the tiny flat for at least a month after the baby's born. While it will be tight, I think it's important that we have time together as a family unit, without other relatives around. I know Hubby's grandmother would be really helpful to have around, but in the first month I will probably be going out of my mind with stress and exhaustion, so it's the worst time to have people around that you can't say goodbye to at the end of the day.

If we have a month alone with the baby, we can at least get to grips with being parents before thinking about living with someone else. I don't want her to have to walk around on eggshells for fear of upsetting me, and most of all, I don't want to unleash my hormones on her when she's only trying to help. I don't know if I'm explaining myself properly...

Hubby's heard of a few job opportunities. The one he's holding out for still haven't got around to releasing their applications yet, so he can't apply until February. We don't like that it's so uncertain, but it's a good opportunity, and because of Hubby's experience, he's very employable, so I'm sure he'll find something. The recession hasn't affected Hubby's Homeland, so there are no job shortages there, which makes things that little bit easier.

Hubby's mum took me to see her old colleagues in the maternity department of the hospital, and arranged for me to have a look around the ward etc. She also got me in with the community midwife who took a look at my notes and took my blood so she can get me processed before we move back over in February. I'm glad we went over this week, because when we go back in February, I will be thrown straight into appointments and checkups, so I won't miss out on anything.

They've already booked me in with a specialist to discuss the heart condition my grandmother has, which they ignored in England. I'm glad they're looking into it. They've also booked me in for what they call "parent craft", which I think is where they coach you through the labour process. I also have a dentist appointment booked (which I'm not especially excited about) and my 4D scan booked for the first week in April! I can't wait for that one!

On the return flight I got fantastic treatment! The lady at the check-in desk noticed I was pregnant and gave us priority boarding, which meant we got to sit right at the front with extra legroom. And we had great luck with our luggage; the second we got to the luggage belt, our bags were there for the taking. And they say Easyjet is crap; I beg to differ!

And on the baby front, it's spent the week kicking up a storm, but now I'm back at work I'm hardly feeling anything. It's moved now though, because up until 24 weeks, I only ever felt kicks up to the level of my belly button, but now I feel them just under my ribs. It's moved so much in a week, and the kicks are harder now.

I had my first bout of heartburn on Monday. This is going to be too much information, but throughout my life I've had those moments when you have a little sick come up, but then you have a swig of a drink, and it's gone. I thought that was heartburn.

Nope; heartburn is worse.

I went to see the midwife for my 25 week appointment yesterday, and she seems happy with how everything's going. She advised me to start counting the baby's movements, and if I have below 10 per day, I should get it checked out. She also advised me to take off my rings in the next few weeks. I was deliberating yesterday, and I've taken them off for good now. My jewellery isn't insured, and there's no way I'm having them cut off me!

Baby Update

2010-01-09T13:25:00.003+01:00

Since the Christmas period got away with me, it occurred to me that I haven't updated anyone about the baby since our 21 week scan. As you know, the baby was kicking since I was 19 weeks and 6 days, but since then the baby has been visibly kicking in my belly. If I time it just right, I can see my belly moving with the baby, which is a very weird experience.

Since the 21 week scan, I have realised I'm actually glad we didn't ask the baby's gender. While I was going crazy with curiosity at the time, the moment has passed and I'm actually quite looking forward to the birth, because that's the first time I will know whether we have a son or daughter.

One New Year's Day we hit the sales; not for the usual things (clothes etc), but for the baby's buggy. We have been shopping around over the last couple of months, and finally found this one in Toys R Us. And even better, it was in the sale, costing £150 ($240). It's the Graco Excursion travel system, in black and champagne. The buggy comes with a car seat, which can be attached to the buggy for when the baby is small, and a footmuff for the colder days (not that we will be having many of them in Hubby's Homeland).

This is the basic buggy, with footmuff:

The car seat:

And the car seat attached to the buggy (I couldn't find any photos of it online, so you have to bear with me while I show you my skanky flat!):

I turn 24 weeks tomorrow, which is an important stage in any pregnancy, because it marks the point where, should the worst happen and I go into early labour, doctors will do everything in their power to help the baby. In a way it's a weight off my mind, because although the chances of survival are still low, at least you can be sure that every possible effort will be made for the baby. This is also the last point a loss is classed as a miscarriage, and from now on it would be classed as a still birth. I believe this means the baby would have the birth recorded.

I won't be online until 16th January now, as we're off to Hubby's Homeland to sort out a few things before the big move in February. We're hoping to get Hubby's job prospects more secured, meet with the midwives at the hospital, book a few birthing classes, inform healthcare etc that we are moving back (because I need to have medical support as soon as we arrive), and sort out where we will be living. It's going to be a busy week, but it will be good to get it all sorted.

White Britain

2010-01-08T14:38:00.005+01:00

Don't get me wrong; I absolutely love the snow. I love the snow so much that when it comes, I dance around my living room hoping it will settle. Well, settle it did, all over the UK! I didn't know that at the time, and was just chuffed when they mentioned my town on every news channel. You see, Scotland is normally badly affected by snow, but here in the south it's rare we have any more than a light dusting. Alas, here we are surrounded by the white stuff.

They say that due to the low temperatures we are experiencing (last night it was -21c in Scotland), it could last another 3 weeks, which is causing chaos across the country. I'm normally pretty happy with a few days off work, but the trouble is, I can't enjoy it, because every time I venture out it seems my bum is magnetised to the ground, and all I want to do is skid around. That's fun, but not when you're five months pregnant, and hospitals are at full capacity.

But back to Wednesday - I woke up to a beautiful white covering of snow, 6 inches deep in our area. I spent about an hour trying to find warm clothes (that I could fit over my ever-expanding belly) and coaxing Hubby out of bed. It was time to find some breakfast. After breakfast we took a walk around the lake, where I took these photos:

This morning, two days later, I saw this on the news:

I heard our county was the worst affected area in the entire of the UK, but it's now apparent that snow has got everywhere. Through sheer guilt for not having worked in two days, I trudged to the train station this morning and made it into work, and it was a mammoth task. Taking 90 minutes and almost slipping about 10 times, I reached the office and breathed a sigh of relief. Just got to get home again this afternoon, and then I can relax for another day.

The big challenge comes on Sunday morning, when Hubby and I have to travel London-bound to catch our plane to Hubby's Homeland. Our flight leaves early on Sunday morning, when a second round of heavy snow has been predicted. I just hope the flight is still running, because I've heard it's a sunny 22c at our destination. If we can just get there...

Worried much? Haha, cross your crossables for me!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T13:32:00.003+01:00

This is possibly my last opportunity to get online before the festivities start, so I wanted to wish you all a wonderful Christmas. I will probably be back between now and the New Year, but in case you're not; have a wonferful New Year as well. I hope you have everything you wish for and family and friends all around you.

See you in 2010!

Our Lazy Baby

2009-12-23T10:28:00.005+01:00

I had my 21 week scan on Monday, and we were so excited to be able to see the baby again. Since we had agreed not to find out the sex, we didn't ask (even though I wanted to).

The sonographer took measurements of the baby's bones etc, but because he/she was lying face down, she couldn't get to the heart or face to check them. She ended up jabbing my belly a fair bit, but the baby didn't respond - lazy baby!

In the end I had to get up, jump up and down and shake my belly, poor thing. But it worked. When I lay back on the table the baby was wriggling around, head up. She looked at the heart and the face, and all looks well. The baby is measuring well for 21 weeks; no "whopper" baby for me! The baby even yawned a few minutes later; a result of all the poking I'm thinking... I realise that this might not be big news for you, but at the moment, everything the baby does is beyond amazing to me.

They're only supposed to give us three photos in total, and she gave us three identical photos of the profile, but accidentally slipped the others in my notes so I took them home. I think they're supposed to keep them for their files. Oops. I've taken advantage and scanned them all, and will let my midwife know I have them when I see her in January. But for now...

Baby's Profile:

Baby's Hand:

Baby's Foot:

Annoyingly, as Hubby was driving me back to work, he said "I want to know the sex". I could have killed him at that moment, because I've been telling him for weeks that I want to know, but he always said he didn't, and so we didn't ask. Now we have to wait until the birth, which is still okay, but I'm not the most patient of people.

He did say that he now thinks it's a girl, because he "didn't see nuts or a willy". I replied saying she didn't go down there during the scan, and he said she did. He said that means we have to find a "really good girl's name"... haven't we been trying to do that all along?

We'll see; perhaps Hubby is right about it being a girl...

Gone Too Soon

2009-12-20T23:52:00.006+01:00

Too many celebrities are passing before their time. First there was Brad Renfro, then less than a week later it was Heath Ledger, and now it's Brittany Murphy.

Brittany was one of my favourite actresses, and I was truly saddened when I heard of her death this evening. The death of Michael Jackson was sad, and unexpected, but he had lived a decent life. At 32 you don't expect your life to be so dramatically cut short.

I loved the films she was in, from Clueless to Just Married. She was quirky, funny, beautiful and talented. And I don't just mean her acting abilites, but her voice too. She hadn't even accomplished all she could have. I don't often quote celebrities, but in the words of Ashton Kutcher, the world has lost "a little piece of sunshine."

Wintery Week

2009-12-18T16:50:00.008+01:00

As I logged into my Blogger account this afternoon I thought, “I’ll check in and see what’s going on, but I don’t think I have anything interesting to post about”. But as I was reading my favourite blogs, it suddenly occurred to me that I’ve had one crazy busy week. How did I forget that?

So I’ll take you through, starting from Monday (you’ll have to bear with me here)…

MONDAY 14th DECEMBER: The baby decided to play games with me and reverted back to flutters on Sunday and Monday. I may have been disappointed, but I have only had one flutter through the entire pregnancy, so being able to experience them throughout an entire day was great. However, this baby doesn’t seem to “flutter” like most babies. I got none of those feelings of butterflies or a feather on the inside of my belly, but just crazy vibrations instead. Like someone’s setting off a Bumble Ball in my belly…

It was interesting trying to find a picture of that on Google (using the phrase “vibrating ball toy”), I can tell you!

TUESDAY 15th DECEMBER: Tuesday was a great day, if you ignore the obstacles… Getting ready for work was pretty average, but as I got to work, Hubby texted me to tell me our boiler was stone cold. Here in the UK we’re in the middle of a cold snap, and it seems the house was already losing heat. I got on the phone to our letting agent and asked them to arrange a gas man to visit.

He explained to me that everyone was on a training course, and there was nobody around to help. He didn’t even offer to call the gas man himself. I called back in the afternoon, but nobody was answering.

But back to the good stuff… We had our work Christmas meal. As ever, we weren’t very productive in the morning, and headed out at 1pm to the restaurant across the street (the perks of working in the city centre). I treated myself to a glass of Champagne, and savoured the red pepper soup, squash and mushroom risotto and apple tart, before opening our Secret Santa presents.

It seems my powers of telepathy worked, since I got a massive bar of Toblerone (possibly the naughtiest chocolate in the world). Since we’re moving abroad, we’ve cancelled gifting this year amongst family. Anything we’re given we would have to find additional space for in the van, or end up parting with it within a matter of months. I was in two minds about my Secret Santa present, but I’m thrilled someone spotted my chocolate craving, because I have no doubt it will be gone by Christmas!

Granted, it wasn’t that big, since our budget was £5 ($8), but you get the idea. Besides, I don’t think you’d come out looking as slim as her after you’d polished off that bar!

When the meal was over we headed to the pub. Unfortunately the turnout wasn’t great, but it was a good laugh. Being pregnant, I was the sober one in the group, but my colleague made the most of it by getting completely sloshed and asking if I could walk her home at the end of the night. We only live about 200 metres apart, so it wasn’t a big deal. In fact it was actually quite funny as I directed her down the street, having to stop occasionally to let her write obscenities on people’s windscreens.

I’m not going to tell you what she wrote, but she was pretty embarrassed the next morning!

After I got home, I put my feet up (this is becoming a regular pattern, which is why I have stopped inviting people round to see our scummy home). Our house was now barely 14C (57F), and nothing had been done to fix our boiler. I covered myself in all the winter wear I could find that fit me, and covered each leg with a hot water bottle, since I’m not allowed to put them on my belly because of the risk of cooking the baby.

It was about 11pm when I felt the baby kicking again. I sat back, pressed my hand to my belly, and the baby kicked back on it! I never expected to feel it against my hand so soon after feeling the first kicks, and now I was suitably impressed by my little one’s abilities to throw two milestones into a period of four days. I was now aching for Hubby to get home and hoping the baby would put on a show for him too, but I felt nothing more for the rest of the night… or for the following day in fact.

WEDNESDAY 16th DECEMBER: We spent the night sleeping in 10C (50F), and I took it upon myself to go and kick some ass in person at the letting agent’s office. Turning up at 9am I have them a piece of my mind, flashing my puffed-out belly (because you have to exaggerate these things, don’t you) and showing them that I was “six months pregnant”. They offered no form of apology, and said I was 4th in line to have an engineer sent out. Apparently you don’t get any special treatment for being pregnant.

I spent all day hounding them on the phone, and eventually told them I’d booked my own engineer and would be charging them. Within the hour they called me back to say they were sending a rep to the house to “assess the problem”. When he turned up, Hubby realised he was simply one of the guys from the office, who proceeded to tap the boiler a few times and conclude “yeah, it’s not working, is it.”

Genius.

He then laughed and said off-hand to Hubby, “so your wife’s pregnant, is she?” I love Hubby for what he did then; he just gestured to our scan photos, which are tacked onto the fridge and simply replied, “yeah, she is actually.”

Serves him right for not believing me.

Miraculously, an engineer was with us within four hours, and our home was toasty once more. Good thing really, because I don’t think I could have managed another night in the cold.

FRIDAY 18th DECEMBER: I woke up this morning to a fine blanket of snow. How’s that for getting in the festive spirit. They say it could last until Christmas, and it would be our first white Christmas since the 1970s. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for more snow tonight, because Hubby and I both have a day off tomorrow, which means we can go outside and make snow angels!

The Halfway Point

2009-12-13T16:34:00.006+01:00

Baby and I have officially reached the halfway mark: 20 weeks!

People warned me the pregnancy would go quickly, but I never believed them. I don't know if it's the run-up to Christmas, but right now time is passing in the blink of an eye. The baby will be here before I know it! Here is my latest belly pic:

I seem to have ballooned in the past couple of weeks, but I'm loving every second. I had to go through all my clothes and pack away the ones I can't fit into anymore. I've packed away a bin bag full already, and only have a small pile of pregnant clothes I can wear, haha!

Anyway, to mark the halfway point, I thought I'd post a collection of my belly pics to date:

But even more exciting than reaching this milestone, I felt the baby kicking last night!! You probably know I've been really impatient about feeling kicks, because aside from feeling what I think was a flutter at 15+4, I have felt nothing. But last night, I felt something. Like a little hand knocking away in my lower belly. I was so thrilled.

The feeling came and went within a second or two, but there it was ten minutes later, and again about an hour later. I tried pressing my belly to see if I could feel anything, but the movements stopped. I haven't felt anything since, and I guess it will be another couple of weeks before I can feel it with my hand. But for now, I'm happy just knowing the baby's doing well.

I Don't Write to Santa Claus; HE Writes to ME!

2009-12-10T18:58:00.004+01:00

Yep, you read it right! I received a letter from Santa Claus! I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I must have been a very good girl this year!

Smug much?

The letter came through with this stamped on it:

Needless to say it's turned me into an impatient child. Tee hee, I'm so excited; I want to open it now!

It's Official

2009-12-09T13:40:00.004+01:00

We're moving.

Of course it was official months ago, but now it's really official. I typed the letter we have to submit to terminate our tenancy, and I sent it off this morning. In two months we will be leaving our flat forever.

Our last official day in the flat will be Saturday 13th February 2010. Since we're paid up until midnight, and the letting agent closes at 5pm, they cannot take the keys from us on that day, so we are handing them back on Monday 15th February. It means we get a whole extra day to move out... and I think we're going to need it. Even after we get all our stuff out we have to lay down a new carpet (I'll go into that another time, but it's a great story!)

We're a step closer to the whole process though; Hubby bough himself a van. I won't hold out for your gasps of excitement, because quite frankly, I don't find buying a dodgy van off Ebay exciting at all.

It's a good thing Hubby does.

We ended up "winning" (I still don't know how you win anything from Ebay, when you've clearly promised to pay for it) a red Volkswagen Transporter for £1,200. That's about $1,950 for all my friends across the pond. It looks (I'm told) something like this:

I have a feeling it's going to be a little more dingey and much less shiny than this one, but you get the idea. Apparently the owner tried to revamp it into a Volkswagen Camper-type vehicle, but not very well, so it has a little table and cooker in the back, which we will be ripping out in order to be able to fit more stuff in. Once we get the van, we can assess how much we can fit in it, and start thinking about shipping the rest of our things to Hubby's Homeland.

Family Matters

2009-12-05T16:41:00.008+01:00

I find myself wondering what things will be like when Hubby and I move in February. I know many good things will come from it, but I also fear bad things will come.

Our family, like many others, has its problems. They may not be as big as others, but they affect the dynamics and happiness of those I love. Often, I feel like my only role within the family is the negotiator. People turn to me to help sort out misunderstandings.

Am I happy about that? Not really, but you get what you're given.

My mother has fought for almost thirty years to ensure a good life for her children, but my brother doesn't always act the way most sons do. There is a reason for this, which I won't go into, but let's just say; they are both right - to a point.

I'm not saying he's a bad person; on the contrary. He's a kind, genuine and loving person, but sometimes he doesn't stop to listen, or try to understand what people are telling him. Sometimes my mother can't explain herself properly, and therefore can't get her point across. Sometimes she is confused for overreacting when in fact I think she's just misunderstood.

In short, their characters clash. They always have done, and I believe they always will. It's caused many problems over the last 20 years, and I often wonder if either of them are learning anything from this.

I'm happy to help, but sometimes I dread answering the phone, because I know it's going to create stress that I don't need. At the same time, this is my family, and I love them unconditionally, so of course I'm going to do everything in my power to help them. I just wish they could work out how to deal with each other.

Hubby is the only person who knows how this effects me, because I can't talk to them about it. Without me, I wonder if things would ever sort themselves out. And if I move away, I can't be here to help them. I worry what will happen in the future, even though I shouldn't have to worry. I worry that when I go, they won't be able to find a middle ground, and there will be nobody to help them find it. They will argue, and I see them drifting apart. I won't be able to see them as much as I'd like, but they will be able to see one another, but may choose not to.

To me, family is the most important thing in this world. Your parents, siblings, partners and children are to be treasured. They may not be perfect, but they are a part of you, and you should accept them for who they are, and work with it. You shouldn't try to change them - they are who they are because of their imperfections.

I can't do much from 2000 miles away, and I feel guilty for moving, but this is my time, and I need to give my child the best upbringing I can possibly give.

Sometimes I just wish I could live my life without worrying what will happen to those I love.

Baby Bump

2009-12-04T11:45:00.001+01:00

I thought I'd post a photo of my bump, because, finally, it's here:

This was taken yesterday at 18 weeks 4 days. After a lot of ligament pains last week, it appears the baby is going through a growth spurt. Good, because I'm not feeling any more flutters, and I haven't felt any kicks yet, so half the time I forget the baby's in there!

Lots of Walking

2009-12-02T16:23:00.005+01:00

I went to my third physio appointment this morning. I'm not sure if I've mentioned that yet, but when we got back from our honeymoon, I found I'd torn my hamstring. I'm still not sure how, because people say you know when you've torn it, but I only felt it when it ached in the days afterwards. In the UK you can get 5 physio appointments free of charge. After that, you pay around £30 ($55) per session.

The physio has been helping me with my hamstring, but is also taking the opportunity to give me some exercises for the pregnancy, which I know will be really useful in the coming months. But it's like being back at school! I have to do seven exercises three times a day, and at my next appointment on 11th December, she will check to see how I'm doing. It's a good thing she's given me the exercises printed out with photos, because my memory is atrocious!

At midday I headed to the doctor for my swine flu jab. Now, I know this may have people up in arms, but trust me, I've gone back and forth over this for months now, and I decided it was the best thing for me. My midwife also recommended it especially in my situation, seeing as I will be travelling across Europe for a week when we emigrate in February. Going into early labour in a foreign country is one thing, but being pregnant and falling ill with swine flu is another thing altogether. I just don't want to risk further complications.

Anyway, the nurse said I may have a "dicky tummy" (nothing out of the ordinary for me), and in a day or so my arm may start to ache. Fun fun! I made a point of reminding her I was pregnant (in case she gave me the wrong vaccine by mistake), and she said she noticed by the size of my belly! She said the baby might be "a whopper" if I'm so big already.

Scared much?

On my way back to the office after my jab, I bumped into two people I know, and both asked me straight out if I was pregnant. What a great feeling to be able to say "yes". Last time someone asked me that, I actually wasn't - the shame - and I signed up for Weight Watchers the very same week!

I've walked three times my usual amount today; because after my lunch break I had to take my winter coat to the dry cleaners (after having found moth larvae under the lapel - guh!) I'm feeling all the exercise in my back and hamstring now though, so I guess this gives me an excuse to relax this evening!

In other news, I'm 4 months pregnant today; woohoo! I officially look great in all my stretchy dresses! I had been saving them because up until now I just looked like I'd eaten all the pies, and who wants to wear a figure-hugging dress to accentuate that? Not me. But I tried them on last night and I look great! Time to start jazzing myself up again...

Random Thoughts

2009-11-30T19:04:00.013+01:00

* I'm beginning to think getting pregnant before emigrating was a bad idea. If we move abroad in mid-February as we intend to, we only have 11 weeks, or 77 days left to tie up all of our loose ends. That may sound a lot, but there's Christmas in the middle, and we're taking a trip to Hubby's Homeland in January, so in reality we have far less time to sort everything out. I was actually lying awake last night wondering how it's all going to slot together in time; we just have so much to do!

* I can't wait until we go for our 21 week scan. 21 days and counting...

* We've seen a buggy we want already. Scary, huh? Well, not totally scary, because my mother-in-law popped into a couple of shops in Hubby's Homeland to ask how quickly items would arrive into stock after ordering them, and the result is 12-16 weeks.

It means that even if we shop for things when we go over in January, it still might not be there when the baby is born in May! Because of this, we're looking into buying at least the buggy in the UK and taking it over with us. This is the one we've found, and we think it's a bargain at £199:

I know it's blue, and we won't know whether we're having a boy or a girl... but since when have I been traditional? And I'm bored of shopping for gender neutral colours.

* And finally, I paid a whopping £900 ($1,400) onto my credit cards today. I know, what was I thinking? I can't really afford to part with that kind of money, but I found a crazy balance of £1000 on a card I thought I'd cleared, so the debts I need to clear before we move have doubled. I would cut up the cards, but with a baby on the way I'm sensing it could be wise to keep hold of them...

Ouch!

2009-11-24T16:06:00.004+01:00

I'm not liking today. Today hurts.

I woke up with a headache and a pain in my side, as if I'd slept wrong. Now, don't get me started on sleeping wrong, because I'm starting to believe there is no right way to sleep when you're pregnant. I don't think I've been able to sleep through since before I knew I was pregnant. If I'm not waking up to use the toilet, my belly's getting in the way, or I have a bed spring poking me in the rib, or Hubby is snoring in my face, or I just feel nauseus.

And they say it's a wonderful time...

I headed to work, all the time having to clutch my side to ease the discomfort, which got worse whenever I moved or walked. I spoke to my colleague and asked her what it might be, and she said it was probably my ligaments stretching to accommodate my ever-growing baby. That's cool, but I didn't expect it to feel so uncomfortable.

The feeling eventually wore off around lunchtime, but it seems the muscle cramp and my headache have struck a deal, and my headache has become steadily worse since noon. This is the first day since being back at work that I've had to deal with the pain without my trusty friend, Paracetamol. I don't like it.

17 Weeks and Counting

2009-11-23T16:04:00.004+01:00

My hope of posting more often didn't really work out, but I hope now things will be different. At 12 weeks I was still in the throes of morning sickness, which I didn't really see an end to until I was 15 weeks. In early November I had a three week long bout of migraines which made my sickness worse, and resulted in me being signed off work for a week. The doctor gave me a course of an anti-nausea pill which worked wonders.

But the good news is that I am doing well. I have now given up on caffeine completely (and I mean completely - I haven't touched a drop in 2 weeks). I'm not really feeling any different, but my migraines haven't made an appearance so I like to think it's linked.

My energy levels are slowly creeping up, and I'm now able to wait up for Hubby to get home from work (most of the time at midnight) about 4 nights a week, which is an achievement in itself, because at one stage I was going to bed at 7pm every night!

The baby is doing well too. I can't be sure, but I think I felt my first 'flutters' on 11/11, at 15 weeks, though I don't know why they call them flutters because to me it just felt like a rush of bubbles popping. Very weird. I know they say many women mistake it for wind, but I've never had wind there! I've since mentioned it to my midwife, and Hubby's mum (a retired midwife) and they both said it probably was the baby. I haven't felt anything since, but it's not unusual to feel something and then have nothing for a few weeks.

A week ago we went to see the midwife (my Hubby and I, not the baby and I - I'm not that crazy yet!), and we heard the heartbeat again. It took her a while to find it, mind you, because the baby kept swimming around trying to avoid the doppler. It seems the baby thinks it's on a stealth mission...

Right now I'm 17 weeks. I'd like to say I have a big pregnant belly, but I don't. When I took my 16 week belly photo I was ecstatic to see the beginnings of a belly, but over the course of the week it deflated somewhat, and I'm back to looking as if I've been eating all the pies. I have, but that's not the point...

Now I'm over the chaos of the first trimester, I'm thinking forward to the coming months. We have pretty much decided that we're moving to Hubby's Homeland in mid February, so we have to give the notice on our flat lease, we have to get quotes for shipping companies to take our stuff over, we have to buy a van to drive down (and to have space for the things we need immediately, like clothes etc), we have to pack, I have to sort out my maternity leave, Hubby has to sell his cars (one of which has no engine), and we have to get rid of whatever we're not taking.

Anyone want a bed?

Introducing our Beautiful Baby

2009-10-20T11:25:00.005+02:00

I'm starting to feel a little more human, which is a cause for celebration! I therefore hope that I will be back a little more regularly from now on, so I can keep you all filled in on how things are going.

We went for our 12 week scan yesterday, and I'm relieved to say all is looking good.

We had a bit of a chaotic time getting to the hospital, because unbeknownst to us they had closed the usual car park, meaning cars were at a stand still trying to find a parking space. I was worried I would totally miss the appointment, so I went ahead leaving Hubby to park the car.

He actually ended up missing the first half of the appointment, and I felt really guilty being able to see the baby kicking around; but thankfully the sonographer was happy to repeat the scan for him when he did arrive. She did all the measurements before he got there, so he was just able to see the baby moving about happily.

His face lit up as soon as he saw the baby, which was lovely to see. He was grinning from ear to ear afterwards!

It might sound strange, but when she put the scanner on my belly, it was weird to actually see a baby in there! Of course I know I'm pregnant, but I was sitting there thinking "what's that doing in there?!"

The baby was still at first but bouncing around happily afterwards. He/she had a strong heartbeat of 164bpm, which we hadn't been expecting to hear until 16 weeks.

The baby is currently measuring 5.5cm crown to rump, and the chances of Downs Syndrome are 1 in 221,817, which is very low. The estimated due date remains 2nd May 2010, and I'm currently 12 weeks and 2 days.

Up until now it was like a dream. Now I''ve seen him/her I'm overcome with love for this little baby. I can't explain it, and it feels like such a cliche, but my entire world has just got 5.5cm bigger!

Checking In...

2009-10-05T15:52:00.001+02:00

Just a quick one today, to let you know that I am still around, and I'm doing well. I'm just exhausted, so what time I do have, I'm ploughing into work and housework at the moment. Sorry if it seems like I'm avoiding you; I'm simply diving for my bed each evening.

We went on our honeymoon and had a kind of okay time. I've told the story a thousand times now, and I don't want to bore you with the details, but basically we spent £5,000 on the most chaotic trip imaginable, and we were just glad to get home. Sad, eh?

Anyway, we've been back for two weeks now, and I'm over the jet lag, but not over my exhaustion. Nobody told me that even ten minutes of housework would make me feel as if I'd been hit by a truck and wanting my bed, but I've been told this is normal in the first trimester.

I was feeling pretty nauseus between weeks 6 and 10, but it seems to be subsiding now. FIngers crossed it stays that way! I'm now 10 weeks gone, have seen my midwife and am eagerly awaiting my first scan, which is booked for 19th October. I'll try to post again soon...

First Doctor's Appointment

2009-08-28T11:24:00.003+02:00

I went for my first doctor's appointment this morning, to discuss what I should be doing now I'm pregnant. I had expected him to ask to see a positive pregnancy test, or for me to pee in a cup or something; but he took my word for it.

He gave me the expected due date of 4th May, which is 2 days past what the internet and the baby books have been telling me; not that it matters really. He also booked me in to see the midwife on 29th September. I'm unclear as to whether I'll be having an ultrasound then, but they've given me a pee cup to look after, so I know I'll be doing that.

I'm so impatient; I almost want to wish the first trimester away just so I have peace of mind and so I know I'm out of the woods as far as losing the baby is concerned, but at the same time I want to experience everything in its entirety.

I've been on the verge of telling a lady I work with for a few days now, but when I was going to blurt it out yesterday, she was sick with cold, so it wouldn't have been a good time. Now she's off sick, so I suppose it's a good thing. Even if I have to blurt it out when I get back from honeymoon; I'll be 8 weeks gone, so my chances of miscarriage will be significantly lower anyway.

I feel like I'm bursting at the seams; but in a good way!

And now I'm off the diet I've allowed myself to indulge in the naughty foods a little, but yesterday I went way over the top by having a KFC for lunch and a pizza for dinner. Today I'm reigning it back in and I'm eating sensibly; or this poor kid may be born with an addiction to junk food...

Call me the Tantrum Fairy

2009-08-27T11:48:00.005+02:00

Day three, and I'm an emotional wreck. Hubby would argue, but I don't normally consider myself prone to PMT; however today I can't seem to stop!

I found out this morning that my dad isn't going out of town after all, and that we could have told him about the pregnancy this weekend. However it then means that my mother, older brother and sister-in-law won't know until after the honeymoon, because last night was the last night I would see them before we fly.

I know it's not a big thing, but it now means I have to keep quiet for three more painful weeks because of disorganisation. I'm finding it so hard to keep quiet as it is. But I know I won't mind so much on Saturday; when I get to spend 3 full weeks talking to Hubby about the pregnancy, and bore him silly. At the moment I only see him for an hour each day, and I don't want to overwhelm him with baby talk, so I'm pretty limited and only able to talk to people online about it.

So that would explain my blog rant ;)

Seriously though, I'm having a wonderful week, despite feeling constantly drained and emotional. It's all part of the experience, and I'm just glad to be going through it, because it only ever felt like a distant dream.

I went to my Weight Watchers weigh-in last night to discover that I'd lost another pound, despite eating cakes and scones this week. I have come to the conclusion that my body only ever loses weight when I feed it junk food. It's a weird but rather exciting realisation; though I don't think it will do me much good when I have a baby relying on me to provide the essential nutrients...

I told my Weight Watchers leader that I was pregnant, and that I wanted to continue going to the meetings (but not weighing), because I want to ensure that my mum still goes and gets to her goal weight), and she said it was fine, and that she too was pregnant! She hasn't said a word to anyone yet, so it's like we're sharing a secret with one another.

Anyway, that's my last weigh-in with Weight Watchers for now, and it feels good. I didn't get to my goal weight, but I got down to 139.5lbs; under 10 stone! I'm thrilled to be 9-stone-something for the honeymoon; the lightest I've been in 4 years!

Lastly, I wanted to say a huge thank you to those that have sent me their warming congratulatory messages. They mean so much to me at the moment, and I just wanted you to know that.

Sinking In

2009-08-26T16:46:00.003+02:00

Actually, I don't know that it is sinking in, but I couldn't think of another title! I've known about this baby for 33 hours, and it still feels weird. It still feels like my period's about to start, so until I'm about 2 weeks late, I think I'll be expecting it to arrive.

I told a colleague about the pregnancy today; the first live person I've told other than my husband. It feels weird to say it out loud, but I'm so glad I now have someone to talk to face-to-face about it. And she's pregnant with her second, so she knows what I'm experiencing.

I'm going for my last Weight Watchers weigh-in tonight, and I know I will have put on weight. I didn't pig out this week, but I did bake scones and fairy cakes, and since yesterday I've had a little bit extra to eat during the day; even though I know I didn't need it!

I'm also going to dinner with my mother, brother and sister-in-law tonight in order to celebrate my birthday and their second wedding anniversary. We're a little late, but it's good to celebrate all the same. I was also going to throw the pregnancy news into the mix tonight, but I have since decided against it.

The reason for this is because my dad, stepmum and little brother are going out of town this weekend, which is the only opportunity we had to tell them the news. For that reason we have to catch up with them when we get back in mid September. And if my big brother and sister-in-law accidentally say something to them about the pregnancy, then they're effectively found out from someone else, instead of hearing it directly from us.

My dad found out about my brother's wedding planning through someone else; I don't want him to find out about his first grandchild the same way. So tonight I'm going to have to "keep it buttoned" and resist saying anything. It's going to be very hard!

The Best Gift in the World

2009-08-25T12:38:00.006+02:00

I literally can't believe it! I woke up early and went straight to the bathroom to test. I wear my contact lenses to bed, and when I get up, I'm bleary eyed for a moment until the sleep clears. But today I wasn't prepared to wait. I took the test and headed into the lounge, turned the TV on and waited. I looked at the test before the allotted time, and still bleary eyed, I saw the line emerging. I frowned, thought nothing of it; my contact lenses must be dirty.

But looking back at it, the line was there, plain to see. I couldn't believe it; I couldn't be that lucky...

Well, I didn't wait until the evening to tell Hubby, because I couldn't hold in my joy. I was jumping around the lounge squealing; I had to tell someone. I boiled the kettle and poured him a coffee in a mug decorated with lots of "No 1 Daddy" script, (after all, 8am is too early for beer...) and went to wake him up...

Me: "Honey, honey, wake up"
Him: "Mmph, go away"
Me: "Do you want some coffee?"
Him: "No, leave me alone" (he's not a morning person)
Me: "No, I think you want this coffee, it's in a special mug!"
He opened his eyes, looked at it and laughed slightly, closing them again and trying to go back to sleep. He thought I was being silly.
Me: "no, you don't understand", and waved the test around in front of his face.
He looked at it, frowned and sighed. "I need to pee".
Me: "is that all you can say?"
Him: "I need a pee!"

I wait in the lounge, he comes in and looks at the test again, this time comparing it with the diagrams on the box. He too realises it's a positive. He shrugs, "well, I had no doubt; I am amazing", and then he smirks and tells me his coffee isn't strong enough. Well, not after that shock, no

Yeah, he's not a morning person, but when I left he was smiling, so that's a good sign!

Cooking Mad

2009-08-24T16:54:00.003+02:00

I spent about 3 hours on Sunday cleaning up the state that was our kitchen. I'm ashamed to admit that I had neglected the room, in favour of closing the door on it and living in denial. But it's time all that changed.

I cleaned everything, and I stood back to admire my work before sitting down in front of the television; only to realise that I was restless. So I baked scones!

In all honesty, mine didn't look as yummy as these ones, and only when I was putting the scones on the baking tray did I realise I was out of raisins, cinammon, jam, cream, or anything else that made scones sweet. So I ended up putting cheese on the top of a few, and leaving the others plain. I've since bought raisins, cinammon and chocolate chips :)

But tonight, as part of my cooking frenzy, I will be baking fairy cakes.

I've never baked fairy cakes, so it's going to be a learning curve to say the least, but I stocked up on mini cake cases, icing sugar and toppings, which should keep me busy for a while. It won't help my weight loss, but I can always bring the extras to work and make everyone else chubby!

Brilliant Weekend Full of Food

2009-08-18T10:52:00.002+02:00

I'm just popping in quickly today, because this week is hectic at work.

I had a brilliant weekend, starting with a night out with the girls from work on Friday night to celebrate my birthday. We had only intended on staying for one, but somehow it had reached 11pm by the time we left the bar; fed and watered and we'd had a blast.

On Saturday I woke to realise it was my birthday. Hubby bought me a card; though he forgot to collect the envelope in the shop, and ended up wrapping it in tin foil(!). Hubby never buys me cards, so I was thrilled to get one from him, that had "wife" emblazoned across the front.

At lunchtime my mother picked me up and we headed into town. We went to see "The Time Traveller's Wife" at the cinema; which I thoroughly recommend by the way. It's such a good film, but so sad! I've since decided to add the book to my honeymoon reading.

After the cinema, we went for dinner at "Old Orleans", which specialises in dishes from the Southern States; cajun chicken and all that. As you can tell; I was right off the diet...

I went home in the evening and vegged out on the sofa watching a couple of films, and waiting for Hubby to finish work.

On Sunday, Hubby and I went to Kingston to spend the gift vouchers we'd been given for the wedding. We wandered around the store choosing stuff (including more of the crockery we'd had our eye on, some Le Creuset cookware, and a lean meat grill), went to grab a bite to eat (bangers and mash), before making our way back home and grabbing a KFC for dinner.

Monday strolled around, and it was back to the throes of work; although I'd forgotten that this week we are auditing, so I was in for a busy one. Nevertheless, I met Hubby for lunch and wandered around town for a while in the sunshine (because England finally decided to perk up!). I got home last night and Hubby was cooking me a jacket potato and Yorkshire Puddings. Mmmm...

A weekend of food and sunshine; over way too quickly. I should turn 25 more often...

2009-08-12T13:00:00.003+02:00

I've had a busy couple of days, gluing and sending out our thank you cards, picking up our honeymoon tickets and ironing on fabulously blinging "Mrs X" transfers onto my honeymoon clothes:

Don't be alarmed, I've only got the one, and I've only ironed it onto one black T-Shirt, which I plan to wear on the plane.

I am getting more excited by the day, and I can hardly contain myself. And we still have over two weeks to wait! I'm slowly starting to pull a few things together that I know I will need to pack; like travel detergent, shorts, dresses, sun cream, books... I'm only packing these things because the Great British summer has, once again, been a total washout this year, and I doubt I'll be needing many of my summer clothes before we leave.

But there's always hope, and I would love to be able to top up my tan before we leave - there's nothing worse than being pasty on the first day of your holiday; trying to disguise your milk bottle legs. I'm not as pale as they come; I generally classify myself as having a European colour - perhaps like those in the south of France - opposed to pale colour of my fellow English roses. Having said that; I'm well versed in holidaying with Hubby's family, who are lucky enough to live on the Med and soak up the summer sunshine from April through to October.

I'm also breaking in my white flip flops; the first of 2009, and I stepped in bubble gum already. Sad but true!

And on a final, rather sour note, my laptop has decided to re-acquire the virus it had on 11th July, and therefore is out of action again until Hubby can work out how to get rid of it. Pfft. I'm seriously unimpressed, because all of our wedding photos are on it, and I hadn't managed to get around to burning them yet! Nevertheless, I knew the signs this time, and as soon as it started happening again, I came offline and started a series of gruelling virus scans, which have continued through to this morning when I had to leave for work.

I just hope it's sorted before Saturday, because I'm not spending my birthday without an internet connection...

If You're Going to be Passionate...

2009-08-10T13:54:00.007+02:00

If you're going to be passionate about something, be passionate about learning;

If you're going to fight something, fight for those in need;

If you're going to question something, question authority;

If you're going to lose something, lose your inhibitions;

If you're going to gain something, gain respect and confidence;

If you're going to hate something, hate the false idea that you are not capable of your dreams.

- Anonymous

Rachel's blog, "And If It's A Hero That You Want; I Can Save You", is my new obsession. I love watching out for her new posts, and I love hearing what she's getting up to. If you visit her blog (and I recommend you do), you will see that she has the above quotation in her title.

I heart this quote, because it makes me think. It encourages you to think beyond your immediate surroundings; to ponder things beyond the bubble in which you live your life. To remember that we are part of something bigger, and that "something bigger" shouldn't be forgotten.

I also think that every time you read this, you will take away something that you hadn't seen before. If you apply just one thing to your life; it will make you a better person; and no matter how good we think we are; there is always room for improvement.

This past weekend was very constructive for me. Not because I did something out of the ordinary, but because I simply took the time to reflect upon my life. I've emerged on this fine Monday morning, realising that any problems you might face at work, shouldn't have to impact your life. When I go home in the evenings, I switch off and I live my life; the life which I work so many hours to maintain.

I spend time with my family, with my husband, with friends and by myself. It is what I choose to do outside of work that shapes me as a person, defines me, and fills up the pages of the photo albums I cherish so much.

Work is work, and work worries should be left at the office when 5pm comes along. Outside of the office, I am me. No amount of mindless bickering in the office can change that.

I hope to remember this in the future, but for now; I'm back at work, and I'm determined to have a good day.

It's Confession Time

2009-08-06T22:16:00.009+02:00

There's a couple of things I need to say before I go any further. I caved... twice.

My new best friend is Pepsi Raw. I love her slender figure, her bubbly nature, her sweet kick, and her ability to keep me up all night. Pepsi Raw is not only tasty, it's got caffeine, and it's packed full of sugar - you can't very well have a natural drink, and expect them to have it in a diet form.

This doesn't bode well for either my diet, or my intention to kick the caffeine. Ugh, never mind. I'm drinking the final bottle of my 4-pack, and it's back to caffeine free Diet Coke tomorrow. It was good while it lasted.

But my second confession is a little more embarrassing. I got carried away when I promised myself I wouldn't do. I bought my second pregnancy book; before I'm even pregnant.

In fairness, I think you should know that I bought my first one when I was 2 weeks late a few months ago. I bought it because I had a feeling I was pregnant, so figured I would act pregnant until I found out otherwise. But in order to act pregnant, I had to research what that meant.

But this book is amazing. I love it already. It goes through your pregnancy from day 1 right through to after the delivery. It details what is happening in your body each day of your pregnancy, with full colour pictures and the odd fact thrown in.

And my reason for buying it? Well, I figured that you only find out you're pregnant when you're four weeks gone, and by that point I will have missed out on the first month. So I thought I would buy the book and get all spiffed up on the first month. That way, when the day comes and I do find out I'm pregnant; I know where I'm at and what's been going on in my body.

Work has flown by this week, but I'm still glad it's Friday. I love Friday even more than I love Pepsi Raw. I had a pretty crappy day yesterday, when I seriously reconsidered whether I should stay at my current job, or just walk out there and then. It was rough.

Of course I didn't walk out; I have rent to pay, and we have no savings to live on, so the reality is that we couldn't last a month without two incomes. That's the reason I've stuck with my job throughout this recession. It's safe, and I'm not about to be made redundant. So when I have trouble at work, I'm annoyed to say the least, because it's not like I can leave for something better.

I apologise in advance if you're reading this and you are unemployed. Of course I value my job; I would be stupid not to. I have a good contract and aside from the lousy pay, I have a good deal. It's better than nothing, but I'm a firm believer of people just getting on with one another wherever possible.

Nevertheless, I didn't walk out. I didn't even rise to the bait. I was civil, and I did my work; leaving at the end of the day; knowing that I had been the bigger person.

Of course, being the bigger person doesn't mean that it's any less tense on Friday morning. Roll on 5pm, because you won't see me for dust!

Skinny Minnie

2009-08-06T10:55:00.002+02:00

I'm pretty happy with myself, because at my Weight Watchers weigh-in last night, I was 142lbs - I'd lost 2 ½ lbs since last week! I'll be looking like this in no time -->

I'm sure you remember how disappointed I was last week, to have put on weight after having pointed all of my food, deprived myself of the foods I loved, and been so confident about having lost weight. The weird thing was that I felt my clothes getting loose, so to have put on weight was a genuine shock.

But I was determined, and I kept at it. This week I made a point of eating a more varied diet. So where I might have had toast for breakfast, soup for lunch and a low fat dinner every day; I spent the past 7 days varying my foods.

I also discovered a range of delicious salads from Marks & Spencer, which I've been tasting and actually really enjoying.

And it paid off, because I saw the results this week. I think the weight loss must have caught up with me, but either way I'm glad I've finally seen results.

So now I'm 9lbs from my goal weight. With three more weigh ins until the honeymoon, I still don't think it's realistic to expect to get there before then, but my new intention is to be 133lbs by Christmas.

I'll be a Skinny Minnie by the end of the year...

Ode to Food

2009-08-04T16:15:00.008+02:00

I think I just figured out why I'm on a diet...

I thought I'd be so brave as to start a list of foods I can reward myself with once I reach my goal weight. Why? Because I've been totally deprived of nice food for two weeks now, and I need something to look forward to. So here is my list, although I can imagine I'll be adding to it as the weeks go by.

Obviously I won't let myself have everything all at once, but man that would be a great day! No, I'll eat them in moderation while trying to avoid turning myself into a diabetic...

Coca Cola ~

It surprised me to learn that while a can of full-fat Coke has six teaspoons of sugar in it; it's only 2 WW points. Bargain I know, but there's no way I can have one every day when I'm only allowed 19. So for now I only treat myself if I have a real craving, a particularly bad migraine, or a very bad day!

Sausage Rolls ~

At an average of 10 points each, it's not hard to see why these are totally eliminated from my diet. But they're sooo good...

Rich Tea Biscuits ~

By far my favourite all of my biscuit friends, and probably the least fattening. At only 1/2 a WW point each, I could let myself have one. But when I have one, I have six...

Pizza ~

I don't think this one needs any explanation.

Lemon Tart ~

While I like chocolate, I'm not too bothered if I don't get it, and I can't stand chocolate cakes. They're just too... chocolatey! I know, I'm hardly a good example of a woman, but I just love the tang of a lemon tart.

Creme Caramel ~

Fairly low in fat, but hard to find. And when I find them, I can't spare the points. But just looking at the syrup on this makes me want to head straight to the supermarket...

Big Mac & Fries ~

Again, pretty self-explanatory. McDonalds, while deadly to your arteries, is quick, kinda cheap, tasty, and it's comfort food. What's more is that it's only 50 metres from the office, so it's a mission to avoid it when all you want is the familiar Maccy-D hug.

Party Rings ~

They're colourful, they're covered in sugar, you can wear them as rings, and they're sweet biscuity loveliness. Quite simply; Party Rings rock my world.

A Month of Marriage

2009-08-04T13:10:00.004+02:00

Well, we've officially survived one month of married life. It feels weird to say that it's been a calendar month already. Some days it feels like only a fortnight ago, and other days it feels like it was six months ago.

Traditionally, the married couple would drink mead for one calendar month after their wedding, and after this, the honeymoon period would be over.

Looks appetising, doesn't it? I hasten to add that this isn't our kitchen, and this isn't our mead (I hear your relief).

But of course 4th August marks our one month, which means that our honeymoon period is technically over. I might have been a little disappointed about that if I didn't have our Hawaii trip to look forward to at the end of the month. Yet another reason to be untraditional!

A lot has happened to us during the past month; some good and some bad (but mainly good). However, essentially life is much the same as it always was. Part of me expected to feel a little different on becoming a married woman, but I guess I knew we would continue on as we always had done.

The main perk of course is being referred to as a Mrs. In fact that's the only real difference at the moment! But despite feeling no different, I'm happier than I've ever been. We have a lot of things to look forward to, and therefore I have many reasons to be happy.

So here's to our one month, and many more to follow! I am living on the wild side and toasting my achievement with a bottle of Diet Coke and a punnet of cherry tomatoes...

Wedding Presents...

2009-08-03T16:08:00.006+02:00

Our lounge, though tidier than usual, seems smaller than usual. But that's because we had our wedding gifts delivered on Saturday morning!!

I then had to wait until midnight for Hubby to get home so that we could open them together. As you probably know, we're looking at moving back to Hubby's Homeland in 2010, so we only opened everything to check nothing was broken or incorrect. It's a good thing we did too, because our burgundy pillow cases arrived looking suspiciously cream...

We also received £220 of vouchers from various family members, which we are hoping to spend on Sunday 16th August when we go to the store in person. We got a number of things we absolutely loved but didn't really need:

I spent Sunday boxing everything back up and tidying the lounge again. In such a small flat, one delivery seems to take over! The rest of my day was spent writing our thank yous; to which Hubby only contributed a signature, and complained at having to do that. Nevertheless, we're almost there. They're all written (except for the Spanish lot, which I have to get Hubby to write), the envelopes are all stamped and addresses - all I need to do now is spray mount the photos to the front of the cards without gluing myself in the process.

I anticipate to have them sent out first class tomorrow. that will be a weight off my mind, because then I'll know the wedding is pretty much done and dusted. THEN it's only our honeymoon to wait for, which by the way is in four weeks today!

Honeymoon Shopping!

2009-08-01T18:56:00.000+02:00

And so it begins...

I found this gorgeous bag by Roxy during my lunch hour on Friday, and I just had to buy it:

Now, let me explain, because unlike most of my spends; I can justify this one. I'm intending to use it as my in-flight hand luggage for the honeymoon, and when we're there, it can double as a beach bag.

Our flight to San Francisco will take 11 hours, and our ongoing flight to Honolulu will take a further 4.5 hours. That's a lot of time to get bored, so I figured that if I have a bigger cabin bag; I can take more things to entertain me!

*pointing at head* - Not just a hat stand!

Other than its 32-litre indigo magnificence, it was also in the sale! Originally selling for £30 ($49); I bought it for £23 ($38). It would have been rude to turn down such a good offer. It is Roxy after all...

Hmmm. Now, what to take with me...

One Month to Go!

2009-07-31T12:42:00.010+02:00

I woke up this morning with a spring in my step, because as of today; our honeymoon is only a month away!

I'm so excited. This will be the first time I've ever been to the United States, and it will mark the furthest I've been from home. It also means I finally get to spend three interrupted weeks with my new husband. I can't wait!

We normally go back to Hubby's Homeland for a week here and there, or we go on holiday with his family. Hubby and I have only been on one "couple" holiday in the entire time we've been together; and it was complete shambles.

We were in the middle of a heat wave, and Hubby and I went down to the west coast, to a town called Newquay. If you aren't familiar with it; Newquay is the place you go when you finish school (a bit like Tijuana I suppose).

But despite the reputation, we weren't going to mingle with the underage drinkers, because Newquay is also famous for its clean beaches, and it's possibly the best surfing location in the UK. And for anyone who's seen Roald Dahl's "The Witches", the hotel it's filmed in is located here:

I'd been to Newquay twice before, but Hubby had never managed to go, so we thought we'd go camping in Newquay for a week; soaking up the sun, chilling out. We had originally been considering going to the Dominican Republic for a week, but in the end the price was just out of our reach, so we settled on a "staycation".

Well, at the end of the week, we'd spent more than we would have done staying at an all inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, so we've since decided that staycations are very pricey!

Unfortunately it was wet and stormy all week, but still lovely and sunny back home (grr...). Nevertheless, we had a lot of fun. We walked along the cliffs, and you can even walk along a strip of coves that lead straight to the town centre. It's a beautiful place; even when it's raining!

On the way back we stopped off at the Eden Project (the world's largest greenhouse):

After leaving, we were on the home straight; or so we thought. The car broke down twice, and the second time we were still 100 miles from home, and Hubby's breakdown cover will drive you home, or to a hotel within 10 miles of the breakdown location.

Unfortunately that left only one option; find a hotel. The mechanic took us to the repair garage, where I put the £800 ($1,400) bill on my credit card. The bank subsequently blocked my account, leaving us penniless in the process. It then meant we had to rely on the goodwill of a nearby hotel to give us a room for a knock down price, and no dinner!

Anyway, enough of my trip through Memory Lane. Hawaii will be our second "couple" holiday, and the best by far. This time next month, I will be on a plane to San Francisco with hubby asleep on my shoulder :)

I Have a Plan

2009-07-30T16:08:00.004+02:00

There's not much to report at the moment, other than my sheer determination to make this week work for me. I'm hoping my good eating will have caught up with me by next Wednesday's weigh-in.

Thanks to the ladies that have given me tips on my diet. I've decided to shake things up a little this week by making sure my foods are varied. The only reason I can think of for not having lost any weight is that perhaps my body is just used to the same old stuff now.

So this week I'm throwing myself into eating either fruit, yoghurt, toast or cereal for breakfast, salad or soup for lunch, and a healthy dinner.

I've also decided that this week nothing is going to pass my lips that I cannot point. Normally if I eat something I can't point, I try to drastically exaggerate the points for it, and just act as if that's the actual point value.

For example, if I eat a portion of noodles from the take away, they might be 8 points, but I'll assign them 12, which I know will be safe. That way I can't possibly go over my daily allowance.

But this week I won't even be doing that. It means the only foods I can eat are either home made, or out of a packet that has been portioned. And strangely, I'm not as hungry this week as I was last week. Perhaps eating the variety I'm eating now means I'm staying fuller for longer. Who knows; this may be the week that everything changes

* hopes with all her might! *

Scales Are Not My Friend

2009-07-28T21:28:00.007+02:00

I don't even have words for how disappointed I am in myself. I went to my weigh-in this evening to find out that after my dedication and hard work, I'd put on half a pound. What is going on?? It's so disheartening.

My only consolation is that next week my good behaviour will catch up with me, and I will have lost a couple of pounds. This is my fourth week of floating around the 144lb mark, and it's really getting to me. Even when I cut out all the nice food, I'm still static in my weight. Pfft.

But you know what? I'm going to flip this into a positive, because I can't sit around being disappointed in myself. Or at least, if I am disappointed in myself, I'm going to use that and make it work for me.

I'm going to work even harder this week, and I'm going to achieve something next week; even if it hurts me. Although I don't have any more diet tricks up my sleeve, so I'm hoping whatever's wrong with my body works itself out sharpish.

And I just realised that if I still want to get to my honeymoon goal, I now have to lose a frightening 3lbs each week, without fail. I think it's safe to say that my goal of being 133lbs is out of reach, so I've now decided that I'm going to focus only on getting into those surf shorts. Even if I weigh 144lbs on my honeymoon, I'm going to get into those shorts.

Don't ask me how, because I may need a miracle!

What a Good Girl I Am!

2009-07-27T16:09:00.009+02:00

I've been caffeine-free for five days now, and in all honesty; I don't feel a difference in my energy levels. I thought I would have had some kind of reaction by now, since I've spent the last ten years drinking Coke on a daily basis.

I'm the only person I know that can pop four Pro Plus, wash them down with 4 cans of Red Bull and STILL not feel anything. Now, before you warn me that that's not a sensible way to live; I should highlight that I was revising for my final exams, working from sunrise to sunset, and I'd finally cracked.

But my insensitivity to caffeine and taurine is probably a good thing, I realise now; because at least I'm not bouncing off the walls after one sip. I'm not about to complain.

I'm feeling super slim today, which is great considering it's THAT time of the month (sorry T.M.I.). I normally feel like a right fatty at this point, so when I saw my now-almost-flat stomach in the mirror this morning, my heart actually leapt with joy. It's put me in such a positive vibe.

You may remember that I stayed the same at my Weight Watchers weigh-in last Tuesday, and I complained that my honeymoon goal was getting more and more unobtainable. Well, this week I've stuck to my points like a trooper. I'm not going to pluck figures from the sky, but let's just say I'll be VERY surprised if I don't lose weight this week.

I have to admit that I've been pretty hungry this week though. I'm hardly an advert for Weight Watchers, I know, but normally I'm quite content on the diet, because I eat filling foods, or foods with little or no point values. But this week has been a mission. Probably because it was the first week I've really stuck to it since March.

My basic pattern has been to either have Coco Pops with skimmed milk (and I'm not talking the 1%, I'm talking the 0.1%, which is basically white water), or toast and Marmite for breakfast, some kind of tinned soup with a bit of bread for lunch, and a low fat dinner.

I'm telling you; at zero points, Marmite is a godsend. And what makes it even better is that they sell it in the squeezy bottles. I'm not quite sure about the point of these, because you would think it would mean you get less messy, but you still have to use a knife to spread it...

The hard part of the diet comes when Hubby has his nights off; tonight being one of them. My will power goes out the window when he's home, because he orders take out - yeah, he's not about to spare my feelings and eat something halfway decent, but he'll go overboard and order an entire bucket of KFC and then leave half of it.

The choice I'm then faced with is to either sit and watch him tucking into his mountain of lovely mouth-watering, colonel's recipe chicken breasts as I make a plate of cous cous; or I can join him and be on Cloud 9... if only for ten minutes.

Those heavenly ten minutes are always worth it; even if I put on weight because of it.

The worst thing I did this week was to have popcorn for breakfast on Sunday. I know why I did this too, and I'm not proud of it. Hubby decided he wanted some popcorn at midnight on Saturday. I helped myself to a few, since I had 3 points left for the day, when he turned around and said "should you really be eating that?"

That gets me angry even when I know I shouldn't be eating it. But when I've spent the entire week depriving myself of every scrap of niceness, I feel I deserve my measly little handful of popcorn. But whatever; I got all stroppy and when he offered me some more, I refused on the principle of it.

So on Sunday morning, I woke up and decided that, to get him back, I would eat a bucket of the popcorn myself. In all fairness, I did point it, and I held back from my food as a result. But it didn't get him back because he didn't even realise I'd eaten it; and even if he had, he wouldn't have cared. The only person who feels the consequences of my actions is me, and believe me; I felt it.

I was starving for the rest of the day. I don't know what possesses me to eat to prove a point, but at least I'm aware that I'm doing it, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one that does it.

I compensated by having a Weight Watchers ready meal for lunch (the chicken and lemon risotto; which I would not recommend if you have any taste buds at all). The only problem came at 9pm, when I had 5 points left, and a belly that was now threatening to consume me from the inside out.

I gave in, primarily because I wasn't prepared to go to bed with such an unruly belly, and because I had only eaten one real meal so far. And in my moment of weakness (read: starvation), I threw four fish fingers and a (rather large) handful of chips in the oven. It was good, but I was now officially over my points.

Well, you can't be perfect all the time.

But today I'm being good again, and I've only had 6 points for breakfast and lunch combined; since I'm saving space for whatever scrumptious sustenance we choose to eat tonight. Yum; I can't weight ;)

Chips

2009-07-23T16:51:00.003+02:00

I don't know what the latest news is on Swine Flu in your area, but it's getting pretty widespread here in the UK. So widespread in fact, that people are now freaking out and overdosing on antibacterial paraphernalia.

As I keep trying to tell them; if you're going to get it, you're going to get it. There's little you can do to prevent it, except running for cover and not coming out until the spring. I on the other hand, have come to the conclusion that I'd rather get it now, than in five weeks' time when we're supposed to be going on honeymoon.

Don't get me wrong, I am not, repeat NOT about to hold a Swine Flu Party and rub up against every sick person I can find. I'm simply saying that I'm going to be careful, but I'm not going to change my lifestyle in order to specifically avoid it.

On Monday I elected my "Flu Friend". On Tuesday she called me to tell me she had Swine Flu.

I choose my timing well :)

Seriously though, she lives 100 metres from me, so I would have offered to help her anyway. So I left work early on Tuesday and collected the Tamiflu from the pharmacy. You should have seen the reaction; it was like they thought I was sick. I had to stifle a giggle.

But despite what people are saying, I feel useful, and I like being able to help her. She's housebound for 5 days, so the least I can do is buy bread and milk for her while she's sick. Which got me to thinking; if the same happened to me, I would have nothing in the house to live on.

Hubby and I ended up doing an emergency shop on Tuesday evening in the event that we both get taken down sick with it. So now our freezer is fully stocked with ready meals, and most importantly, chips.

If I'm gonna get swine flu, I'll deserve a big plate of chips :)

Come to think of it; I'm not feeling too great today. That'll be because I decided to make the switch from Diet Coke to Diet Coke - Caffeine Free. What was I thinking?

Stayed the Same

2009-07-22T14:02:00.004+02:00

In Weight Watchers terms, staying the same can be a good thing or a bad thing. For me, I'm taking it as a bad thing, because since the wedding I've put on 2lbs, lost 2lbs and stayed the same; so effectively, three weeks later, I'm exactly the same weight.

I know, I know; I should be happy I haven't put on weight. I am happy, but I can't help feeling my honeymoon goal slipping through my fingers. I had 8 weeks to lose 11lbs, which in itself was a mission, but now I only have 5.

I haven't been tracking my foods, but I've been eating decently. Decently enough to lose weight; or so I thought. But now it changes; from today I'm properly properly tracking my foods. I've made this declaration before, but this is a proper promise.

I've had a bowl of Coco Pops with 0.1% milk, and at mid morning, I cut up an entire cucumber (zero points), and ate it at my desk. For lunch I'm about to have Butternut squash, parsnip and ginger soup with some Weight Watchers bread. I have no idea what I'll be having for dinner, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it!

I've also brought my supply of Neuzekes (traditional Belgian sweets) to work and shared them out, because if they're at home; they're tempting me...

This week I intend to lose a minimum of 2lbs, although secretly I'm hoping I lose 11. If you have any Weight Watchers (or general low-fat tips), be sure to let me know!

Good News!

2009-07-21T11:12:00.001+02:00

I have two bits of good news to share today.

I mentioned in May that there may have been an offer for a house in Hubby's Homeland, but that we wouldn't know for certain for a few weeks. Well, weeks turned to months, and we had almost given up on the idea until yesterday. The house is ours whenever we're ready to move over there. The conditions are different to what they were, in that we won't be buying the house, but renting it from my father-in-law. It's only a one badroom apartment though, so we would only need it while our first child is young enough to sleep in with us; and afterwards, we can look for something else.

It's such a weight off my mind. I don't know about you, but I've spent my adult years struggling just to make it through to the next pay day. I see friends buying houses and I wish I could be like them, but the reality is we've never made enough money to be able to put anything into savings, and the money we spend on rent is effectively money down the drain. But even before the recession it was near impossible for us to get a mortgage, even though the payments would be less than our rent.

Anyway, I'm not the only person in this situation, and I'm sure that if you're not in the boat; you know someone who is. But we're now lucky enough to have been offered a get-out clause, and it pretty much changes everything, and it means we can start thinking about the family we want to start so much.

Which leads me onto my next piece of news...

I don't know what the etiquette is on this one, but Hubby and I have agreed to start trying for a baby on our honeymoon. I'm so excited! I've been broody for so long now, and it finally seems that things are working in our favour.

Now that we're married, and now that the house is agreed; it just seems like the right time to be thinking about children. So we've set the start of our Hawaiian honeymoon as the point at which we start trying to conceive.

I know I'm jumping the gun here, but if it happens straight away, we could be parents in June. I'm not naïve, I know it might take a while, and I know we may face problems - My mother had trouble conceiving, and went through lengths just to have my brother; so she's always made it known that I might have trouble too. But they never did tests on me, so I won't know until we start actively trying to conceive. I think that's part of the reason we're not holding out much longer to have children... that and the fact that Hubby wants them before he's 30 (in 2011).

So we have six weeks to go, and I'm going to take this opportunity to get my body into shape for then. I'm going to concentrate on my diet and getting to my goal weight, and then it will just be a case of toning up and eating healthily. I've been taking pre-natal vitamins for about a month already. I just need to start reading up on the science of it all...

Phew - getting married, travelling further than I've ever been before, getting a house and trying for a baby... 2009's turning into a great year for us.

What happened to this place?!

2009-07-19T16:51:00.006+02:00

I was so excited when I left the office on Friday evening, because I was going to a pub re-opening. But not just any pub; the pub I've been going on about since the beginning of this blog.

For those of you that are new, you may not already know the story, but for my long-standing readers; you may remember that Hubby and I were made redundant from this pub, where we had both been working for a number of years. It was Hubby's main job, where he was working as Head Chef, but for me it was simply an additional £4,000 per year, because I already had my office job, but I was working all the hours under the sun to save up for our wedding.

Anyway, this all happened in November 2008, because the owner, who was like a second father to us all, decided to skip town without a word to anyone. You've probably realised that I try to avoid going into too many details on here, because I try to stay largely incognito (not that it always works). In this case, I'm avoiding the details because there's no point in opening old wounds; and these wounds are particularly raw.

But back to Friday's event; in June it was announced that the pub had been bought by four young entrepreneurs who already owned a couple of fancy wine bars in town.

Except this isn't a fancy wine bar in town. This is an English country inn.

We've spoken to one of the owners through Facebook (he contacted me, because I created the staff group on Facebook; I wasn't some crazy stalker). He said from the beginning that he wanted to keep it largely the same, with the same homely, comfortable atmosphere it was renowned for.

So, with baited breath, we went to the official re-opening. I should start by saying that I had an amazing evening, largely because I got to spend time with old colleagues and customers that I hadn't seen since my last shift at the pub - the Tuesday before the sh*t hit the proverbial fan.

But the pub?! Well, the shell might be the same, but it's a completely different place. Picture fancy tables, a fancy-worded menu (after all, a burger is still a burger) and fancy prices to go with it. Then picture staff who don't know a beer pump from their elbow, and four equally dim managers who think that flapping around is a good way to get something done.

I know I'm being overly critical, but I can't help it. I arrived with two guys that used to work there with me, and we all ordered the hamburger; which the manager informed us was the best thing on the menu by far. I guessed the chefs love their pepper, because I couldn't taste much else. But we soon learned that they don't even make the burgers on site, but they get a farmer to make them up to their "own private recipe". Fine, but you're the chef; he's the farmer. Surely the chef's supposed to make the burger. If he's just cooking it, then surely he's a cook, not a chef.

The guys then left, and I sat with more old workmates. This is when I ordered the fruit crumble, and they had their main courses. One of which ordered the fishcakes. The manager's response was "oh gosh; that's the tastiest dish we have!" - Are you kidding me? I may not have been the best barmaid slash waitress ever, but even I know you should stick to having one favourite per day.

I reckon the fishcakes were better than the burgers, so perhaps she was right on that one. But when we worked there, Hubby made a wicked burger. These ones, quite frankly didn't measure up. I know I'm biased; but wouldn't you be?

We had the dessert menus on our table for two hours, waiting for someone to take our order. In the end they went off the idea of desserts altogether. It was probably a good thing, since my custard had the consistency of water.

I guess what I'm saying is; I don't like change. Or perhaps it's because I feel like someone's torn it apart and tried to turn it into something it can never be. I'm protective over it. I know that's silly, because I know the old owner will never come back to run it. I wasn't the only one to have this opinion., but in the end it's down to the public to decide.

But enough of my tirade; in other news...

Would you believe it's taken me three months to figure out how to reinstate the "compose" mode when you're composing a post? I think that rates me one of the slowest bloggers on here! But I'm glad I've finally got it sorted; I was missing it...

I've spent the entire weekend uploading wedding photos to our wedding photo blog. My laptop has an issue with internet connection, so I literally have to disconnect and connect again each time I upload a photo. Phew, but it's done now, and I can sit back until I get more through the post.

Life is largely back to how it was before the wedding (and it's taken two weeks, ha ha). I'm immersed in my work again, though now I don't have anything interesting to distract me ;)

I'm now looking forward to our honeymoon in Hawaii, which is in... 6 weeks tomorrow. It sounds like a way off, but the last six weeks of the wedding countdown went really fast, so I'm not impatient... yet.

Our Mini Honeymoon

2009-07-16T23:13:00.016+02:00

Things have been so busy recently, so I'm sorry for not having been online. I've got so much to catch up on, but I'm looking forward to reading the latest of the blogs I'm following.

I had hoped to be able to rest a little after the wedding, but now my work is busy, I have to tidy up the house (since when we got back from our mini honeymoon, we just dumped everything and went to bed), and working through all the wedding photos is proving to be very time-consuming. FUN, but time-consuming.

Anyway, today I thought I’d tell you a little about our mini honeymoon in Bath. We left my dad’s house on Sunday morning (5th July), after helping a little with the clearing up. It took us about 2 hours to get to Bath, passing Stonehenge on the way. The only reason we didn’t stop was because there seemed to be at least three coach loads of tourists there, and we didn’t fancy negotiating the crowds.

Now, if you haven’t yet been to Bath, I strongly recommend going. It's home to the Roman Baths, a beautiful abbey and those fantastic houses. If you ever come to England, it’s a must see. The city is absolutely stunning, and every time I go, I’m enveloped in the history, the culture and the awe of the beautiful surroundings.

We stayed in a little flat about 5 minutes walk from the city centre. The flat had a kitchen, a bedroom/lounge, and a bathroom; just the right size for us.

Within 10 minutes of arriving at the flat, Hubby had fallen asleep on the bed!

I passed some time watching one of the DVDs that were available, and nibbling on pork pie, chocolate brownies and wedding cake. But in a bid to find a proper meal, we headed out at 9pm. Unfortunately we had forgotten was that it was Sunday, and that the majority of the restaurants had closed early; so our first meal as a married couple was pizza, from the only place still open!

We enjoyed another two days in Bath, and although the weather was bad (non-stop rain), we still had a lot of fun, and we were able to catch up on our sleep - I can’t tell you how great it was to get some rest!

Returning home on the Tuesday night was bittersweet, because it meant that our wedding weekend was over. While married life itself doesn’t feel any different; you’re completely loved up straight after the wedding, and I didn’t want to ever lose that feeling.

But then it was back to the daily grind, and what I thought would be a little more relaxing, has proven to be a little more hectic! I spent last weekend trying to relax as much as possible. It was my first weekend to myself in I don't know how long. I largely managed it, but when I found a virus on my computer and accidentally gave them my credit card details; I had a day of stress. But this weekend's going to be different; I'm going to clean up the house and then have a calm Sunday.

But that's not all my news; I also lost 2lbs this week! I'm so chuffed to be back on the Weight Watchers Wagon. I have 11lbs to go until I reach my goal weight, so hopefully I can get there before Hawaii. Remember you can see my weight loss progress at any time by clicking on the button to the left.

Virus Warning - I was sucked in, please don't let it happen to you

2009-07-16T12:34:00.006+02:00

I thought I would post a warning about a virus, after my own laptop was infected last weekend. I pride myself on not being gullible to cons and scams, but this one had me fooled.

The virus is called PC Security 2009, and it embeds itself onto your computer without you realising. You soon find a little red cross icon on the bottom right corner of your screen. From this icon a message pops up warning you that your computer is infected, and that you should upgrade your antivirus in order to ensure these infections don’t become a threat to your computer.

This is a screen shot of what the virus looks like:

Unfortunately I couldn't find a screen shot of the warning messages, but it's similar to the pop up speech box that tells you when your wireless is not connected.

The infections the virus is warning you about are not real; this is simply the virus posting these messages. The messages soon come every couple of minutes, and make it very hard to use your computer without getting annoyed by them.

The virus also limits your online browsing. You can still view websites, but when you go to a new page, you may find a warning message urging you to upgrade your antivirus. It will give you two options; either upgrade to protect your computer, or continue browsing without upgrading. If you click to continue without upgrading, nothing happens. The web page you want will not load. The only way you can continue is to click to upgrade.

Once you do this, you will be taken to the PC Security 2009 website, where you can enter your credit card details in order to download a copy of the antivirus that will supposedly help you rid your computer of the apparent infections. Do NOT enter your credit cad details. I made the mistake of doing so, and I received no confirmation, no receipt; and I’d given them my mobile phone number too.

So, thinking it a little suspicious, I Googled the name of the site, and I found a list of sites warning against this virus, and detailing how to remove it from your system. Click the link to see the results of my Google Search (I promise it's safe to follow this link)

Seeing this, I then had to call my bank and put a stop on my credit card. Soon after this, a “system scan” began scanning the files on my computer, and it found over 700 imaginary infections. I say imaginary, because the infections aren’t really there; this is the virus making you think they’re there.

Within the hour I received a phone call from the hoax company, requesting more information, which this time I did not give. It took a good 6 hours to rid my computer of this virus, because it embeds itself in lots of different places, with lots of different files; so it’s hard to track down. I ended up downloading “AVG Free” to my computer, which managed to sort everything out.

Since Saturday I've been inundated with emails from the scammers, asking me to activate my membership. They also managed to debit my credit card of £55, which the bank is refusing to reimburse me, and I've received another couple of phone calls.

My poor judgement cost me £80, and my entire Saturday. I’m normally pretty smart with things like this, but this particular virus is designed to look exactly like Microsoft, so you think it’s authentic. Don’t be fooled by the same virus. If you find you have a virus on your computer, do not browse any sites with your, or any other person's personal details on (i.e. internet banking, emails or social networking sites).

Please forward this information to anyone who you think would benefit from this.

I'm Married!

2009-07-08T13:42:00.016+02:00

I can't believe I'm married. We've been planning this wedding for 18 months, and it felt like it would never arrive. But it came and went, and Hubby and I (because I can now actually refer to him as that), have had three blissful days away on our mini honeymoon.

But first; the wedding...

Where do I start? Our wedding day was incredible.

Hubby and I woke up at 7:00am to spend a little time together before the chaos of the day began. But it didn’t really work out like that, because we’d had a late night before, so we just pressed the snooze button until 8:00am came around.

By 9:00am I was at the hair salon, but they were running late, and didn’t see me until 9:40am. My dad, brother and one of the photographers picked me up, and would you believe it was raining!! We’d had the most fantastic weather in the two weeks running up to the wedding, so this wasn’t expected.

But anyway, I got back to the house, and my mum helped me into my dress. We didn’t have time for any pre-ceremony champagne, because the car; a cream and red Morris Minor referred to as "Millie" had arrived.

Hubby and I weren’t worried about seeing one another before the wedding, because we’re not very traditional. But because I was running late, there was barely any time for him to see me anyway, and as I came downstairs, he was getting into his car and leaving.

It was still raining a little as my dad and I got into the back of the Morris Minor. One of the bridesmaids (Hubby’s cousin, but like a sister to him) came with us, and the other would meet us at the register office.

We arrived at the register office and the rain was pouring down on us. The driver of the car was prepared with an umbrella though, so I hitched up my dress, and looking rather unladylike, dashed towards the building.

I was almost thrust into a meeting with the registrar while Hubby was still in there, but luckily he didn’t see me, and I was sent into a different room to wait. I was in there with Hubby’s aunt, who by this point was all emotional. She told me how happy she was that I was marrying him, and that she couldn’t have imagined a nicer person for him to marry.

I had my meeting with the registrar soon after, and then it was time to get married. I entered with my dad, to silence, which was weird, but there was a problem with the CDs we had made, so there was no music. But it didn’t matter, because there was Hubby, and he was wide-eyed as he saw me coming. He later said that my dress was similar to what he expected, but so much nicer than he ever thought possible.

We got married, and we had photos outside on the steps as the weather was now clearing. We had three photographers snapping away; my uncle, a friend I studied photography with at college, and an old workmate that went off to study photography at uni. It allowed them to capture the day from their own perspective, and give us such a varied collection of photographs.

After the group photos, the guests then disappeared off to town for a few hours, while Hubby and I got into the Morris Minor and headed back to the house with a glass of champagne each. We had some photos taken outside the house with the car, and our photographers navigated the traffic, as we were in the middle of the road at this point.

The car left, and this is when I realised that I had dirt all over my train! I was upset about it for a few moments, but the photographer assured me that he could photoshop it to look clean, and that it would be dirty later on anyway.

We headed off to our photo venue shortly afterwards, and got some absolutely incredible shots:

We also stopped for ice cream, and I tried very hard (and managed) not to spill it on my dress:

And this is Hubby trying (and failing) to bustle me while I held my ice cream and bouquet:

More updates later...

No Time to Breathe!

2009-07-01T15:00:00.003+02:00

I'm running around like a headless chicken this week, making sure I have everything ready for Saturday. Because I'm working at the same time, I only have my lunch breaks to concentrate on buying what I need to buy, and collecting anything else I might need.

Last night I got home from work and spent about 5 hours cleaning the clutter that is now our home, and making the last of our information booklets for the wedding ceremony. I managed to check my emails and scan through Facebook for about ten minutes before finally hitting the sack.

But I'm getting there.

I'm so excited, and I can hardly think about anything else. I'm glad things seem to be looking up, after the issues I've had to deal with over the past fortnight. But I think my attitude has changed too. I've been working so hard to get everything to run smoothly, but now I know there's little I can do if something goes wrong, so I'm choosing not to worry over it.

The latest bad news I had was that the flowers have all wilted, due to the crazy heat wave we've been having over the past 5 days. It's so humid the roses are just dropping, so I've had to put in a second order, and my budget is blown way out of proportion. But it's one of those things; nobody could help it.

But things are coming together; rather quicker than I had hoped, but I'm sure everything will work out on the day. I don't know if I'll have time to post again before the wedding, so I'll say it now, just in case...

I'll see you when I'm married!!

How I Spend My Evenings

2009-06-29T22:28:00.007+02:00

It's 9:30pm, and I'm at work.

Now, my job is 9-5, so why am I still here? To be honest, I'm only here because of my printing needs. I've been working for the past two weeks on the order of service / information leaflets for our wedding.

I've gone on my merry way to work each morning hoping that it would be ready to print, and each day I've found a new problem with the document. The main issue was that I'd started it in Excel. Excel doesn't let you have different sized fonts unless it also increases the row height. I didn't want a crazily formatted booklet, so I figured I would have a play with fancy fonts in Photoshop on my laptop, save the text as JPEGs, and do a simple copy/paste into the Excel document when I was at work.

Well, it didn't work, because apparently my PC at work doesn't like the format that my laptop saves its images in. I had a bitter argument with each computer, and eventually decided to upload the Photoshop images to another blog I have running, and copy/paste them into the booklet.

Finally it worked, and I'm so relieved. There's five days left before the wedding, but only two more evenings I can stay late to use the printers, binders and other supplies.

Come on, did you really think I wouldn't rely on my work for a couple of freebies?

Anyway, I've been here since 5pm, printing and sticking and binding and in total silence. I did take a break to have a Feast though, and it was sooo worth it.

This is the finished product:

Sorry to have fuzzed out the text, but it's just his name on the left, my name on the right, and our married surname in the middle. What do you think? Can't believe it took four hours, right?

That's a "before" photo of me by the way, when I weighed about 170lbs. I'm glad to say I no longer look like that, but this was the photo that was used on our invitations, so it seemed fitting to use it on the wedding day itself too.

I kinda like looking back at this photo actually, because Hubby and I have both lost weight since then. Many people haven't seen us yet this year, so they will still know us like in the photo. I'm going to love walking down the aisle 2 stone lighter :)

Now I'm just sitting here waiting for Hubby to finish work and collect me on the way home. La-la-la...

One Week Left

2009-06-27T18:05:00.010+02:00

Yep, you heard it here first: I only have one week until I marry Hubby.

I'm excited, I'm stressed, I'm happy, I'm impatient, I'm fidgety, and I'm also feeling kinda sick.

The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind. I've been happy, and I've been sad... and I still have a week left! Right now I'm in the middle of the road, though you might call it "blah". I am excited, don't get me wrong; but I don't have anybody around me to be excited with, so I'm biding my time.

I went sunbathing this afternoon, since today has been the only sunny weekend day in the run-up to the wedding, and I was in serious need of some colour. Well, I certainly got some colour, because now I resemble magenta.

Whoops.

But all is not lost; it has 7 days to go brown/peel or whatever, before I desperately try to scour my skin free of embarrassment. But I'm determined not to stress about it, because I have much bigger fish to fry. And besides, we could always add a lobster theme to the wedding. I'm sure my skin wouldn't clash too much with the red of the roses...

Anyway, this afternoon it occurred to me that Wednesday is but four days away, and my mum ever so kindly offered to come by (on Wednesday after Weight Watchers) with her car and collect some things that we need taking down for the wedding. I'm heading to my dad's on Thursday after I finish work. I'll be taking the train (since I don't drive), so I can only take a little wheely suitcase with me.

I want this by the way, but I don't think they do it in my size :(

Hubby will be following in his car when he finishes work at 11pm, and my mum's following on Friday night with my grandmother, aunt and uncle, who are coming over from Homeland # 2.

To make it even more complicated; my brother and sister-in-law were going to go down on Friday night, but when my bridesmaid called last night to tell me she couldn't collect my flowers, I called him deserately asking if he would get them. So now they're following on Saturday morning with the flowers and one of the photographers, who will be staying in our flat on Friday night. My brother's in the area, so he may as well collect the photographer on the way through, and save him the train fare.

Chaos; I know. This is why I can't think straight at the moment.

Anyway, since I'm off to my dad's for a late Father's Day tomorrow, this is my only day free to do things at home before the wedding, so I figured I should probably get some bags packed and ready to give her. She's already taking my wedding dress in her car, so I'm not sure how many bags I can give her, but I'll definitely try to give her the guest book, confetti and cameras (we're both into our photography, but since we won't be using our collection of cameras - we have about 6 - we thought we'd offload them to our guests for the day, and take them back at the end of the wedding = instant photos, woop woop!).

Luckily my grandmother, aunt and uncle will have a car themselves. Phew...

I'm also trying to get some housework out of the way, since we now have house guests (the photographer) on Friday. Eek! So much to do, and I'm nattering on here...

EDIT - Argh! Hubby just called me to say that our band have suddenly demanded £500 to play at the wedding! We had asked them when we booked them if they wanted paying, and since they're friends of ours, they said payment in beer would be enough. They also get a party, hog roast and buffet thrown in. It's not a bad deal.

Apparently 3 of the 4 band members had a secret meeting. The last guy, the closest friend of them all, tried to argue with them, saying they should stick to the deal, as agreed six months ago. But he was out-voted.

Hubby told them where to go. I'm glad; I don't want anyone like that at our wedding. Except now that means we have to look for a DJ that's free next week. It's just one more thing on my list. You gotta laugh, I suppose.

It's sad for the one guy that did fight our corner, because he's caught in the middle. I desperately want him to come to the wedding still, but I have a bad feeling he won't want to show his face. But the others are dead to me.
Sad, but true. You don't mess with a bride one week away from the wedding.

The King is Dead

2009-06-26T15:57:00.006+02:00

I think most people would agree with me when I say that today is a very sad day. The death of Michael Jackson has shocked the world. It seems most people found out yesterday, but I woke this morning to hear it on the news.

They say everyone can remember where they were when they heard about the deaths of people like John F Kennedy, John Lennon and Martin Luther King. While I'm too young to remember them, I do remember where I was when I learned of Princess Diana's death (on holiday in Majorca).

The death of Michael Jackson will be one of those moments. However my memory won't be too thrilling, as I was standing over a pile of clean laundry, trying to find something to wear for work, with a towel wrapped around me and my wet hair turbaned up on my head. I was also bleary-eyed and the first time they mentioned it on television, I misheard.

Or perhaps I didn't mishear; perhaps I just wanted to think I did. The truth is the death of Michael Jackson is something I never thought I would hear. He was one of those people you thought would just live forever - in a really unrealistic way.

Love him or hate him; you have to admit that Michael was talented. And a law unto himself. I grew up listening to his music, because my parents were fans, so it's really no surprise that I have his albums in my CD collection. He has been a great inspiration to me, not because I'm musical, because I don't have a musical bone in my body, but because of what he's accomplished in his life.

Admittedly I did question his innocence when it came to the child abuse charges, but I never stopped liking his work, and I never gave him any less respect than I think he deserved. He was an incredible artist, an incredible dancer, and I think very misunderstood. I think the world has lost a gem with the death of Michael, and I think it would be very hard (if not impossible) to find a match for his talent and success.

I hope his family, especially his children, find some privacy to grieve during this awful time, and that the press and his fans don't cause too many problems for them. It's hard when someoene with such a high profile dies, because many fans seem to consider themselves as entitled to attention as their families.

But nobody's talking about the late Farrah Fawcett, who also died yesterday after a long battle with cancer. I hate to say it, but I think Farrah's death might be treated similarly to that of Mother Theresa - if you remember, Mother Theresa died shortly after Princess Diana, and while she devoted her life to helping the poor, her death was over-shadowed by that of Diana's, and the hardly got a mention. I think it would be sad to forget about Farrah, and I think it's important to recognise her as well. I didn't even realise she was sick, so her death came as a surprise to me.

Sorry I'm not posting about happy things today, but I thought both Michael and Farrah were worth a thought.

Pretty, Pretty Things...

2009-06-25T11:21:00.003+02:00

I have to profess my love for Cath Kidston. she's a genius and I just wish my bank balance was never-ending so I could buy all the pretty things she sells in her stores. I had a moment of ~~weakness~~ inspiration on Tuesday and I bought this bag:

Now, it may seem like I complain about never having any money, but I haven't bought anything for myself this month, so I've done pretty well. And I've been eyeing up this bag for a while, and until now had resisted temptation. It's big, it's made of straw, it's got a cute floral lining, and it comes with a little floral purse. It's really no surprise that I absolutely love it. And the best thing is that Hubby hasn't noticed it's new, so hasn't asked how much it was.

Sometimes I love his indifference.

I particularly like the Cowboy and New Rose patterns, so whenever I visit, I always scope out the new products in case I find something in either of these.

But this morning I heard they're having a sale, and you know what that means: I'm going to have to ~~drag myself~~ skip to the shop again today to see what bargains I can find (and afford).

If an item's bought in the sale, it's like they're giving me money to take it home. And I can't very well say no to free money, can I?

I didn't think so :)

And I'd just like to add that after accidentally losing weight over the last few weeks, I spent the last 7 days scoffing my face with pretty much everything I craved, in a bid to put on a couple of pounds for my now ever-so-slightly big wedding dress. It's not huge, but the corset back gives me a bit of a baggy bum.

Anyway, I went to my Weight Watchers weekly weigh-in last night to find out the result of my gluttony. Picture me peeking out from behind my hands, so imagine my surprise when I read the digital display and discovered I'd only gained half a pound.

What is going on?? It's like my body has found itself a fast metabolism. Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely loving it, but I'm losing weight when I'm supposed to be gaining.

My body remains a mystery to me...

Note: I've never actually seen a Big Mac that looked as good as this one. I don't think they exist.

Top Hat; or Not Top Hat?

2009-06-24T13:56:00.008+02:00

This is what Hubby wants to look like on the wedding day:

But I'm concerned he's going to look more like this:

In all fairness, Hubby's not that weird looking, but I'm worried he will resemble this guy more than the first guy. Why? Because he bought a top hat that I fear is too small for him.

Unfortunately it's no secret that I never wanted him to have a top hat and cain, so now he thinks I'm being awkward, but it honestly does look strange... and I have 10 days to convince him of this.

I see only one problem here; Hubby is stubborn.

What to do, what to do... I've already thought of hiding it, but I'm an adult and I'm not about to play games. And besides, it's not like there's many hiding places in a one bedroomed flat.

They say you shouldn't hope to change the man you love, but right now I kinda want to change his opinion of this hat. I think it's dawning on me that I'm going to have very strange looking wedding photos...

Confetti!

2009-06-23T14:16:00.006+02:00

I never thought I'd be allowed to set off two confetti canons without a good reason. Alas, the time came and I had a lot of fun!

It's a weird moment when you realise you've spent forty minutes online comparing the price of shredded paper/dried petals, but I suppose it needs to be done at some point. I've also come to the realisation that I'm going to have to shell out for it anyway, so I'm better off just buying it and dealing with it.

I went confetti shopping yesterday after work and came back with a varied bunch of types. Half of them are packs that you can see into, but the confetti canons had to be subjected to rigorous tests before they were put to use. Not prepared to create havoc in our own home, we headed to a secluded place nearby and had loads of fun shooting them at each other (well, they came in multipacks, what were we supposed to do??). It turns out, the confetti canons were made primarily of foil, which I'm sure the ceremony venue will hate if it doesn't disintegrate in the rain.

So after a lot of playing around, we've settled on these rice paper versions:

I know; not very exciting, but they are cut into bell and horseshoe shapes! (I reckon they charge you extra for that), but it's the best I can find on the High Street, and unfortunately with 11 days until said "big day", I can't really buy anything online, in case it doesn't arrive in time.

Still, consider our wedding confetti'd. I'm ashamed to say I actually dreamt about confetti last night - how sad is that?!

Weight Loss Progress

2009-06-21T22:32:00.027+02:00

* * 2010 Post-Pregnancy Weight Loss at bottom of post * *

2009 PRE-WEDDING DIET:

I thought I'd post a little more about my weight loss, since the wedding day marks the day I can get back on my trusty Weight Watchers wagon, and lose the final stone before I reach my goal weight. So in this post, I will record my weekly weigh-in results.

I've added this button to my left-hand bar, so if you want to check in at any point, you can click and it will take you back to this post:

I will not lie, and I will not deceive you. Everything I post here will be 100% honest truth. Why? Because lying won't help me, and I need to get to goal before Christmas 2009.

My Motivation:

* Obviously the wedding was my main motivation. I wanted to look as good as I could possibly look in my wedding dress, and in the photos. I want to be able to show my children and grandchildren the photos, and feel proud of who I was and how I looked.

* People's lack of faith in me. Of course I have the support of my family, Hubby and friends, but people told me they didn't think I would lose the weight before the wedding, or even before the end of the year. It's not because they didn't think I can do it, because I lost 3 stone on Weight Watchers when I was 21, but they just don't think I'm as determined as I say I am. So I'm vowing to prove them wrong.

* The surf shorts. I bought two pairs of surf shorts a couple of years ago, totalling £70. I've never been able to get into them.

I promised myself I would have a photo taken of myself on a Hawaiian beach, wearing one of the pairs of shorts, and that would be my ultimate achievement. We leave for our honeymoon in late August, so I have a while to get down to a reasonable weight before then.

* The infamous fat and thin photos:

So now you know why I'm doing it, here's how I'm doing it...

May 2008:

In May 2008, I weighed 175lbs (12st 7lbs), I wore UK size 16 clothes, and had a BMI of 29. A healthy BMI should fall between 18.5 and 25:

Click here to work out your own BMI

At Goal Weight:

At my goal weight I will weigh 9st 7lbs (133lbs), wear UK size 10 clothes (US 8), and have a BMI of 22. I will have lost a total of 3 stone, or 42lbs, and if I get to goal by Christmas 2009, it will have taken me 14 months of actively trying to lose weight to get there. Not bad, eh?

Between May 2008 and January 2009 I lost a stone (14lbs) through eating smaller portions, cycling 10 miles each day in the summer months, and generally trying to be healthier. I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting on 7th January 2009, and from then on I tracked my weight weekly...

Weekly Weigh-Ins:

07/01/2009 - 161.5lbs / 11st 7.5lbs (BMI of 27)

14/01/2009 - 158.5lbs / 11st 4.5lbs

21/01/2009 - 157lbs / 11st 3lbs

28/01/2009 - 156.5lbs / 11st 2.5lbs

04/02/2009 - 155lbs / 11st 1lb

11/02/2009 - 154.5lbs / 11st 0.5lbs (my first 1/2 stone)

18/02/2009 - 154lbs / 11st 0lbs

25/02/2009 - 153.5lbs / 10st 13.5lbs

04/03/2009 - 150lbs / 10st 10lbs (lost 5% of my body weight)

11/03/2009 - 149.5lbs / 10st 9.5lbs

18/03/2009 - 151lbs / 10st 11lbs (reached healthy BMI of 25)

25/03/2009 - 147lbs / 10st 7lbs (my first stone lost)

01/04/2009 - 146.5lbs / 10st 6.5lbs

08/04/2009 - 147.5lbs / 10st 7.5lbs (maintaining weight for wedding dress)

15/04/2009 - 148lbs / 10st 8lbs (maintaining)

22/04/2009 - 148lbs / 10st 8lbs (maintaining)

29/04/2009 - 147.5lbs / 10st 7.5lbs (maintaining)

06/05/2009 - 145lbs / 10st 5lbs (lost 10% of my body weight, still maintaining)

13/05/2009 - 146lbs / 10st 6lbs (maintaining)

20/05/2009 - 146.5lbs / 10st 6.5lbs (maintaining)

27/05/2009 - 147.5lbs / 10st 7.5lbs (maintaining)

03/06/2009 - 144.5lbs / 10st 4.5lbs (maintaining)

10/06/2009 - 145.5lbs / 10st 5.5lbs (maintaining)

17/06/2009 - 144lbs / 10st 4lbs (BMI of 24, maintaining)

24/06/2009 - 144.5lbs / 10st 4.5lbs (maintaining)

01/07/2009 - 144lbs / 10st 4lbs (maintaining)

08/07/2009 - 146lbs / 10st 6lbs (maintaining & WEDDING WEEK)

15/07/2009 - 144lbs / 10st 4lbs

21/07/2009 - 144lbs / 10st 4lbs

28/07/2009 - 144.5lbs / 10st 4.5lbs

05/08/2009 - 142lbs / 10st 2lbs

12/08/2009 - 141lbs / 10st 1lb

19/08/2009 - 140.5lbs / 10st 0.5lbs

26/08/2009 - 139.5lbs / 9st 13.5lbs

02/09/2009 - Off diet due to pregnancy

RESUME IN SUMMER 2010

- - - - - - - - - -

2010 POST-PREGNANCY DIET:

Well, here I am again. It's time to step back onto the trusty Weight Watchers wagon and see where it will take me this time. In the last few weeks of my pregnancy, I weighed a massive 5 stone (70lbs) above my goal weight. When Baby Girl was born, I lost a whopping 2 stone (28lbs). I occasionally wonder how on earth I managed that, seeing as Baby Girl only weighed in at a very average 7lb 8oz, but I just assume I had lost and lots of very heavy waters!

I haven't been dieting since having Baby Girl, and miraculously I have managed to stay right on track at 12st 7lbs (175lbs). My goal weight, as before is 9st 7lbs, so I have exactly 3 stone (42lbs) to lose. Below are my before and after photos. Before being me at my goal weight, and after being my post-pregnancy gain:

I can't wait until I can add some after after photos! I'm giving myself 6 months to do it, which is an average of 2lb loss per week, and 10 weeks leeway just in case I fluctuate. I started the diet on 1st September 2010.

Weekly Weigh-Ins:

01/09/2010 - 175.5lbs / 12st 7.5lbs (BMI of 29)

08/09/2010 - 173lbs / 12st 5lbs

15/09/2010 - 176.5lbs / 12st 8.5lbs

15/09/2010 - 175.5lbs / 12st 7.5lbs

You STILL Don't Know?!

2009-06-21T19:31:00.011+02:00

10 weeks, AKA:
70 days
1680 hours
100,800 minutes
6,048,000 seconds
However you look at it, ten weeks is a long time to be chasing up late RSVPs. In all fairness, in the UK we send out wedding invitations at least 24 weeks ahead of the wedding, requesting replies by 12 weeks ahead, but that doesn't mean we don't need to know who's coming and who isn't.

This isn't me...yet.

I'm not trying to be all Bridezilla, but I personally think 12 weeks is more than enough time to decide whether you're going to be attending a wedding. I don't know, is that irrational?

Now we're less than 2 weeks from the wedding, and I'm still having to chase people. I have people hassling me for the information, and I can't seem to get a straight answer off anyone. I don't understand how they can think this is okay. I've asked them countless times for their reply, and I've got nothing back.

But the last request went out this afternoon, and if they don't respond, then I'm deciding for them. Half of them claim they still don't know what they'll be doing on the day of the wedding. It's not rocket science; you can either come, or you can't. Just please let me know, because it's driving me crazy.

It's very hard to get excited about a wedding when stuff like this is going through your mind. There is more, but I'm saving that for another day ;)

Staving off Boredom

2009-06-20T21:43:00.008+02:00

1. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? Lara

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My parents had it narrowed down to two names, but they couldn't decide; meaning I was referred to as "baby" for a week. But yes, my name was taken from the name a celebrity used for her daughter. I'm just glad my name's not Moon Unit...

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? When I was frying onion last night. Oh, you mean REAL crying? I'm not actually sure, but probably a couple of weeks ago.

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes, and it used to be really neat until I started working in an office. Now I write so rarely I can't hold a pen as comfortably as I used to. Weird...

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Ham.

6. KIDS? Hopefully very soon *fingers crossed*

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Probably. I can mould my character to fit most situations, but I'm most comfortable when I can be silly. And I like silly.

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? I have this blog, and I also have a written journal for the things I can't talk about on here. Having said that, I can be very negative, and I can't stand to read old journals because I end up re-living the pain, so I now only write about good things, unless the pain is really worth remembering (i.e. death of a loved one).

9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? I don't know WHAT you're talking about...

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yep, but they're naturally larger than average. When I'm sick they get absolutely HUGE. I love scaring the doctors, because they think I'm on the verge of death by suffocation :)

11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Definitely. I'm scared of heights, but I'm determined to overcome it. I would prefer to skydive though. I almost did in 2007, but I couldn't afford it :(

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL? Anything designed for kids. Frosties, Coco Pops, Corn Pops, Weetos, the muesli with the chocolate chunks in... But I'm on a diet, so I normally eat something boring like Bran Flakes. It's really not the same.

13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Only if it's not possible to wrestle my foot out otherwise.

14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically; not particularly. Emotionally; I'm getting stronger every day.

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM? a really creamy vanilla, or Haagen Dazs' Baileys, or Ben & Jerry's Phish Food. Yum....

16. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Body language probably. The way you carry yourself can say a lot about you.

17. RED OR PINK? Red. Pink is girly and flouncy, but red is fiery and strong.

18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Probably my short temper. I'm working on keeping my cool.

19. WHAT DO YOU MISS THE MOST? I miss a lot of things, but most of all I probably miss having an easy life. Having said that, I'm really happy to be where I am, and I'd actually choose the life I have now over the life I had in the past. Just goes to show you can have a harder life, but be a lot happier.

20. DO YOU WORRY WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU? I always worry what people think of me. I know I shouldn't, but it's like I'm constantly trying to be accepted. Even with this blog.

21. WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? Blue and white gingham chef trousers that used to belong to Hubby. And they're Scotchguarded, so I can tip hot oil on myself and not feel it :)

22. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Pasta with tomato, mushroom, onion and garlic sauce. I threw it all together and was surprisingly tasty. Good thing I made enough for three portions!

23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? "8 Out of 10 Cats", which is a comedy game show in the UK, presented by Jimmy Carr.

24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? Probably Electric Blue. It seems cool and collected, but then you hear the name, and you realise that it's actually pretty feisty :)

25. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE SMELL? Vanilla, or coconut. Vanilla is great to wear as a perfume, and coconut reminds me of summer, because when I was a kid, my parents would buy Hawaiian Tropic sun lotion, which always smelled coconutty. I now make sure all my sun lotion smells of coconut. No joke.

26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? It was yesterday at work. It was a boring work call, so I won't bother going into it. Very dull.

27. WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU? Family, friends, Hubby... and happiness. These things are the chocolate chunks in my "cookie of life". I made that up on the spot, but it's pretty good! I'm not normally that sappy though...

28. FAVOURITE DRINK? Coca Cola, without a doubt. It's like a comfort blanket for me. It's so familiar for me, I instantly relax when I have my first sip. I actually grab a can of Coke if I've just been through a trauma, because it calms me. Honestly, it's like nicotine for smokers... but it won't kill me.

29. FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH? I pretty much hate watching sports, however I like watching gymnastics and the "racewalking" (read "really fast and silly-looking walking") they do in the Olympics. That makes me chuckle.

30. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOUR? Light brown, but when I use hair products it tends to look darker.

31. EYE COLOR? Grey-blue, but bluer when I wear my contacts, because they're slightly tinted. Not because I wear coloured lenses, but because if I drop them in the sink, I can still find them :)

32. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yep

34. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? Happy ending!!

35. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? "Baby For Sale", which was surprisingly good, seeing as it went straight to TV.

36. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW? Turquoise.

37. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer, because my body seems to have a Mediterranean climate, and I live in windy old Blighty. Brrrr...

38. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs make everything okay. I only kiss when I'm already happy.

39. FAVOURITE DESSERT? Cheesecake. I would give my right arm for a slice of cheesecake right now. Not my left arm, because I need that to write.

40. IF YOUR HOME WAS ON FIRE, WHAT WOULD YOU SAVE FIRST? Probably my photographs. My life revolves around my photos.

41. WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD? A stewardess for British Airways, and then I wanted to be a vet. I am neither of these.

42. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? I just finished reading "Confessions of a Shopaholic" by Sophie Kinsella, and I was fairly disappointed if I'm honest. All the hype, and for what? The main character just irritated me.

43 WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Apart from my mouse? Nothing. Oh, you meant the design on the actual mouse pad? Nothing. Well, it's blue.

44. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST ON TV? "All Star Mr & Mrs". And it wasn't great viewing.

45. FAVORITE SOUNDS? A child's laugh, the rain falling on the roof of the car, the waves crashing against the rocks, the sound of an incoming text message, a baby with hiccups...

46. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? The Beatles any day. One of my favourite songs of all time is "Let it Be".

47. THE FURTHEST YOU BEEN FROM HOME? Hong Kong. I believe that's 6000 miles. But in ten weeks I'll be in Hawaii, which is 7070 miles from home.

48. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? My eyeballs can vibrate :)

49. WHEN WERE YOU BORN? On a Wednesday afternoon in August.

50. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? London

What's Going On?!

2009-06-18T15:10:00.021+02:00

There are loads of strange stories going around in the news at the moment. Take these for example:

GIRL ASKS FOR THREE STARS TATTOOED ON FACE, GETS FIFTY SIX:
A Belgian girl walked into a tattoo parlour and reportedly asked for three small stars to be tattooed on her face. She then (reportedly) falls asleep and the tattooist proceeds to tattoo a further 53 stars all across the left hand side of her face.

Hmmm. She fell asleep? I doubt anyone can fall asleep with a needle so close to your bone like that. Let me just say; there's no jog mark from where she would have pushed him away upon waking up, and each star is completed. It just doesn't add up. The tattooist claims she asked him for 56 stars, and it was only when she got home that her father and boyfriend saw her that a problem arose.

CHILD ACCIDENTALLY FLUSHES PUPPY DOWN TOILET:
A child tried to wash his muddy week-old Cocker Spaniel in the toilet, and pulled the chain, accidentally flushing him in the process.

Incredibly, the puppy survived and emerged 20 yards away from the house after the RSPCA and drainage services, Dyno Rod, fighting to pull him out.

The family have since named the puppy Dyno, in honour of the Dyno Rod worker who saved him. The little boy said he was "so sorry" and promised never to do it again. I bet he got the fright of his life when he saw his beloved puppy disappear round the U-bend...

WILL & KATE LOOK FOR £5m HOME IN MALIBU:
Prince William and his girlfriend Kate Middleton are scouring Malibu Beach for a home; their meagre budget being £5,000,000. Five MILLION pounds ($8,200,000).

This one really got me thinking. Now, I'm an anti-royalist, and I don't mind admitting that. I dislike the royals more than I dislike chronic migraines. In fact I would rather live my entire life with migraines if it meant the royal family were disbanded.

What's more, the money they're spending on this house is that of the British taxpayer. And where's it going? Well, it's certainly not being pumped back into the British housing market, which is on its knees right now.

They get free education at the best universities (even if they don't have the grades to qualify, AKA Prince Charles), they don't have to repay their debts, and they spend my money. The Queen Mother alone is said to have racked up about £20,000,000 ($32,700,000) debt during her lifetime. When will it stop?

KITTY USSHER QUITS AFTER ONE WEEK:
For those of you outside of the UK, there has been a huge row over expenses for a while now. It's recently come to light that members of parliament have been claiming a disgusting amount of things on their expenses:

* Douglas Hogg claimed approximately £2,000 to clean his moat at his second home.
* Jim Devine claimed £2,000 to re-wire his second home.
* Married couple, Alan & Ann Keen (both working as MPs) claimed £250,000 ($400,000) between them for mortgage payments on both of their homes, despite that only one home is allowed to be claimed for.
* Lembit Opik claimed £30 for a fancy dress wig.
* Tony Blair claiming £7,000 for a new roof on his second home two days before stepping down as Prime Minister.
* David Chaytor claimed £13,000 for a mortgage he had already paid.

...the list goes on. It seems to be every day that we hear another extraordinary claim, and subsequently that member of parliament quits/stands down or whatever.

This time it was Kitty Ussher who hit the headlines. Ms Ussher had only been working as Treasury Minister for a week when she threw in the towel and quit. She reportedly changed the designation of her home in order to avoid capital gains tax.

Under tax laws, people with more than one property are liable for capital gains tax on the sale of their second home, but must inform Revenue and Customs which this is.

And finally a nice one...

VICAR OFFERS OWN MONEY TO FUND COUPLES' WEDDINGS:
A Cumbrian vicar has offered to put his own money forward to help cash-strapped couples marry in church during the recession.

The vicar, who earns £21,000 ($34,000) is offering to cover the statutory £250 fee from his own pocket, because he wants to make it easier for couples who are struggling to find the money. He was also quoted as having said he thought the Church of England should stop charging people for everything.

My Dress is Ready!!

2009-06-16T18:48:00.003+02:00

I had my final fitting this afternoon, and now my dress is safely back at my mum's house and ready for the wedding! I'm so excited, and I even got some photos. I've posted one here, but if you want to see the rest, please visit my planning blog. Yay!!

Throw Him Off The Scent

2009-06-15T16:52:00.005+02:00

Hubby thinks he knows me really well. The truth is he does know me really well, but I'm not about to let him know that. On top of it all, I'm a really poor secret-keeper. The day I found my wedding dress, I got home and nearly burst with excitement. I have tried to keep things to myself, but I keep letting slip the odd detail... and he's very good at taking a mental note and building up a picture in his mind with what he knows.

So then I have to create lies in order to throw him off the scent. I'm doing quite well with this, but I suspect he still knows the truth. So here is my next effort:

When I was shopping with my bridesmaid, I decided to try on one of the wedding dresses in the shop where we found her bridesmaid's dress. This shop mainly does everyday wear, to wedding guest outfits. They don't do prom dresses or anything like that, but they do have a little wedding dress department.

Here's a photo of me looking ~~glamorous~~ bedraggled in one of their off the rack dresses.

Don't I look lovely?! Well, I'm not convinced, but it made me feel a lot better about the dress I did buy! My boobs have always been about 2 dress sizes bigger than the rest of my body, and this dress acted as a stark reminder that had I gone looking for dresses on the High Street, I would have found them to be ill-fitting, if not completely terrible.

Anyway, I thought it would be funny if I left the photo of it around the house somewhere inconspicuous, in the hope that Hubby would stumble upon it and think that was the dress I'd chosen, haha. I don't know that I will though, because I think I look supremely awful, but we'll see.

It certainly would throw him off the scent!

Yay for Wedding Season!

2009-06-14T17:44:00.005+02:00

It's official; the next wedding I'm going to will be mine.

The wedding I went to last night was really fun. Admittedly I did take advantage of the open bar (first time I've ever experienced one of them, because in the UK we normally have cash bars), but I loved seeing my workmates out of work. The bride, a colleague of mine, looked absolutely gorgeous. I didn't manage to get many nice photos, so I've only added a couple of her in her beautiful designer gown:

The photo doesn't do her justice though, because she was absolutely stunning, and she looked so happy and relaxed. This was also the first time I've been to a wedding where the bride and groom leave on their honeymoon straight away. They left the reception in this:

They're taking five weeks to tour the country at their leisure. That's how a honeymoon should be done. It's got me thinking now...

One Dress Down; One To Go...

2009-06-13T18:40:00.008+02:00

Happy Saturday everyone! First off, I want to say a big THANK YOU to Rachel, who nominated me to receive the "Keepsake Blog Award".

Ahh! My first award; I feel so special! :)

Thanks so much Rachel, and sorry it took me so long to realise. For anyone else reading this, my email account decided to put Rachel's message to me straight into my spam folder. Not helpful, Yahoo!

When you receive this award, you're supposed to post a funny or sweet keepsake that says something about you. Well, this is mine:

This is the wooden and ivory jewellery box that my grandfather left me in his will. He died in 1998, when I was thirteen, and since he lived in Homeland # 2, I didn't realy get a chance to get to know him as well as I would have liked. This jewellery box means I have a constant reminder of him, and it's like I can take a piece of him with me; though I guess that sounds weird. My grandparents used to live in Africa, and they brought this back with them when they moved to Homeland # 2 in the 1950s (when the transportation of new ivory was still legal). And since I want to travel the world, but haven't yet been to mainland Africa, it's like having a piece of Africa, and it reminds me of my hopes to visit the continent in the future.

And part 2 of receiving this award is to pass the award on the 10 other bloggers that I think are keepers. So here goes:

C. Beth Blog
From This Day Forward
Gorgeous Footsteps in the Sand
Grab A Drink And Pull Up A Chair
Make Mine a Mojito
Misadventures of a Newlywed
Perfectly Imperfect
Smile Steady
Somethin' to Talk About
The Ratpack

Thanks again Rachel; I shall display my award proudly on my blog!

Something else I'd like to mention, is Blogger's very strange sense of humour when providing text for word verification:

Enough said.

Now today's been a busy day. I went into town with one of my bridesmaids and went looking for a black dress for her to wear to my wedding, which by the way is in THREE WEEKS TODAY!!!

Ahem, mini celebration over. Anyway, we did find a dress, which we thought was black until we read the label, which said it was "chocolate". It's actually a really dark brown, but I maintain it still looks black. Here's the dress we bought:

She's going to accessorise with hot pink so it doesn't seem so dull and plain. For those of you that don't know; our colour scheme is black, cream and red. One of my bridesmaids doesn't suit red, and to prevent them wearing white (or the wrong shade of cream), and clashing with my dress, we settled on them wearing black. It also makes it easier for them to match one another, since one of them is studying overseas, so with flights and her exams, it's been impossible to get them both together to go shopping for dresses.

I've emailed the bridesmaid that is abroad, and asked how she's doing finding her dress. I hope it all comes together...

But my busy day's not over yet; I'm fresh out of the shower and after I finish posting on here, I'm getting ready to go to another wedding; that of my work colleague. I can't wait to see what she's got in store, because we've been comparing notes throughout our wedding planning, but she's been pretty hush hush on the reception front. So, armed with my camera, I'm heading off out in the hope of a great evening...

Too Many Addresses!

2009-06-12T15:09:00.007+02:00

I'm looking forward to this weekend, and it seems like it's been a long time coming. Tonight I'm heading home at 5pm and planning on crashing on the sofa in front of the telly with a huge bowl of pasta and a glass of ~~Coke~~ Malibu & Coke.

It is the weekend after all...

Tomorrow morning I'm heading into town with one of my bridesmaids to do some last-minute dress shopping. Due to money problems, we've not been able to go until now, so we've got our fingers crossed that we'll find (and buy) something for her. My bridesmaids don't have a specific dress to go for, because it was so hard to get them both together before the wedding (one lives abroad), so I've just said get "something black and knee length, that makes you look gorgeous".

Tomorrow evening I'm off to a wedding (hooray!). It's the wedding of my colleague, so a few people from work will be there too. She called me earlier today to bump me up to the all day event, instead of just the evening, and I would have loved to go so much, but I have to get my bridesmaid a dress, so I would be pushed for time, and I don't have any way of getting there. It really pained me to say no :(

On Sunday it's supposed to be beautiful weather, so I'm heading out to the local park in a bid to top up my tan before I don my wedding dress in three weeks' time. The trouble is they've promised us a beautiful summer, yet it's June and it's been raining all week. I really hope they're right about this supposed "mini heatwave" on Sunday...

And finally, I've realised that my obsession with keeping open all my email addresses from days gone by is getting to be too much work. At last count I had 5 email addresses that I can't actually close, due to various reasons. I spend half my week trying to check each one, and getting impatient in the meantime.

Note to self: No more email accounts. Ever.

Fashion Statement or Faux Pas?

2009-06-11T15:35:00.014+02:00

I was scouring the web for photos of red roses while I was updating my wedding planning blog, and stumbled upon these ~~fantastically beautiful~~ deathly scary Scooby Doos:

What they have to do with roses I have no idea. They look neither delicate nor soft, and frankly, they strike me as something Smurfette would buy...

if she were considering ~~binding~~ disfiguring her feet...

Hear me wretch...

Our Joint Stag & Hen Night

2009-06-09T14:38:00.015+02:00

Last night we celebrated our Blues Brothers themed Joint Stag & Hen Do, and we had such a good time. I literally had to race home from work, jump in the shower and squeeze into my little black dress. I teamed it with a fedora hat, stockings, heels and a red and white garter. Hubby wore a black suit with white shirt and a fedora hat.

Not everyone managed to dress up, but it was good to have everyone there - even my brother and his wife came out, and I've never been out with him before! We started out at a bar in town, and moved to a club at 11pm, staying there until 3am. It's a good thing I booked the day off work today!

It was such a fun night though, and great to see everyone again. Most of the people that came worked with us at the pub that closed down in November, and it's been hard to find time to meet up recently, so it was good to catch up too.

Anyway, I thought I'd post a few photos of our fantastic night:

Quietly Excited

2009-06-08T16:12:00.008+02:00

I can't wait to leave work today, because at 7pm we're going out for our Blues Brothers inspired Joint Stag & Hen do! Yay!!!

It's been quite hard to rally people together on this, because it's a Monday night. Unfortunately Mondays are the only nights Hubby can take off work at the moment, since his Chef de Partie quit last week. Don't even get me started on that, because we had hoped everything was now working out with his staff. Now he's frantically trying to train his Sous Chef to manage the kitchen on our wedding day (a big party is booked in at the restaurant), and for our honeymoon. Hmmm...

Anyway, back to tonight. So a lot of people can't make it, because they can't take tomorrow off work, but we're still going to have a great time. I've booked the day off tomorrow, when I fully intend to upload all my photos of this night of mayhem.

We thought a Blues Brothers theme would be both effective and cheap for people to join in with. Hubby has his black suit, white shirt, black tie and fedora hat, and I have my black dress (which I bought last week), black heels, black stockings and fedora hat... AND my red and white garter which I bought especially for our Stag & Hen.

4 hours to go...

How I Love Fridays!

2009-06-05T19:47:00.009+02:00

I was cleaning the house until 10pm last night, but I finally got everything sorted. Just in time too, because our friend is coming to stay tonight. He's on the train at the moment, so I'm passing time until he arrives.

I met one of my bridesmaids for lunch today, and it was great to see her again. I haven't seen her in about 2 months, because I've been so busy with the wedding, and she's been busy with her new man too. She was made redundant 4 months ago, but what I didn't realise was that her partner was also made redundant shortly afterwards, so they're having real trouble paying the bills at the moment. There just doesn't seem to be any work around. It's hard seeing your friends in that position, because you can't do anything to help them, despite wanting to more than anything. But there's a hint of work somewhere, she just doesn't know when. I really hope things work out for them soon.

This friend that's coming to stay tonight is photographing a wedding here tomorrow, so we offered him our settee to sleep on. He's actually one of the photographers for our wedding, so Hubby and I will take the opportunity to talk to him about photos on the day. I'm not sure what he's going to say though, because he hates posed shots with a passion, and favours the reportage style. When I was photographing weddings, I would find that the best photos were indeed the reportage shots, but you need some posed photos too, so he's going to have to be flexible ;)

When he arrives I'm going to meet him at the train station and then we're gonna hit the town and get some grub. I did offer to cook for him (somewhat uncertainly since at one point he was a Michelin Star chef), but he's well aware of my lack of culinary skills, and he's suggested going to a restaurant for dinner.

I can't wait to see him again, because it's been so long since we last saw him; possibly a year. He used to be the head chef in the pub that closed down last November (although at that point he wasn't working there), so Hubby and I both know him really well, and he's such a great friend. He makes me laugh too, so I know tonight's going to be great fun. Unfortunately Hubby's working, so we can't talk about the photos until later on tonight, but never mind.

I'm really looking forward to this weekend. The sunny weather has diminished, leaving us with grey skies and threats of rain, so I don't expect I'll be able to sunbathe tomorrow (trying to top up my tan before the wedding, so I don't look too pale), but if it's horrible outside I might just kick back with a couple of DVDs and rest. After all this cleaning it's well deserved!

1 Month Today!

2009-06-04T16:01:00.020+02:00

Let me get this over with here and now:

one month today until we get married!!!
I can't even tell you how excited I am about this. I spend my time hovering between excitement and panic, but today is definitely a day of excitement. I never thought this day would come. I spend so much time hearing other brides counting down to their own wedding, and now it's only a matter of days for me! One month; 30 days; four weeks = not long at all.

Another reason to be happy is this: At my Weight Watchers weekly weigh-in (that's a lot of W's), I discovered I’d lost 3lbs since last week! You may recall that when I went for my first dress fitting, I was heavier than I was when I first went to collect my dress. It gave me a huge downer, so I vowed to lose some of the bulge, and I did it. I’m so happy.

Now, I'm not afraid to admit how much I weigh, so to give you an idea of where I am;

* Last April I weighed 173lbs
* When I started WW in January, I weighed 161.5lbs
* I currently weigh 144.5lbs
* My goal for the honeymoon (31st Aug) is 140lbs
* My goal for Christmas is 133lbs

The first 12lbs didn't count in Weight Watchers terms, because I lost that weight before signing up. But I lost a further 14lbs between January and March, but was then told to stop losing by the wedding dress vendor. I've therefore been hovering around the 147lb mark ever since, but as of 8th July, I'm officially back on the points system again; in a mission to get to my honeymoon goal.

And now I have some free space in my wedding dress, I intend to make the most of the food at the wedding, by eating lost of crackling!

Sorry if this image grosses you out, but crackling's a huge thing in my family, and was the deciding factor for having a hog roasted at the wedding reception. But as everyone knows; calories don't count at weddings, so I should be safe...

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, but I go to my Weight Watchers meetings with my mum, and then spend an evening with her; catching up, chatting, laughing and just enjoying one another’s company. Hubby picks me up on the way back from work (which is often as late as midnight), so I don’t always get much sleep on a Wednesday night! Last night we were up until 1am, which explains why I’m sitting at my desk about to nod off.

This is not good.

Tonight I’m on day four of my housework frenzy. We have a friend coming to stay tomorrow night, and the house was an absolute mess. I’ve managed to get through most of the washing up, all of the laundry, and consolidated paperwork into one monster pile, which is now situated in the corner of the room. Tonight will be spent cleaning the bathroom, mopping the floors and vacuuming the carpet.

And tomorrow I can relax, because I’ve decided to ban housework for the next few days.

"Britain's Got Talent" Final

2009-06-02T10:09:00.007+02:00

I’ve had a lovely weekend enjoying the sunshine. England is infamous for its poor weather, so when we have days where there are no clouds in the sky, we talk about it, so you’ll have to forgive me! I spent Saturday morning cleaning the house (though admittedly I didn’t get much done because I was watching TV at the same time), and in the afternoon I went to the local park and lay in the sun. It’s about time I got a vague summer glow, because I’m looking rather pasty in my wedding dress!

It was only when I jumped out of the shower on Saturday evening that I saw how sunburnt I really was, AND I’d given myself really sill looking tan lines, which I will now have to find a way to balance out. Whoops.

Saturday night I met up with the girls from college (In the UK, college is voluntary education, between the ages of 16 and 18, but not university level), to celebrate one of their birthdays. I already mentioned the events of this in my previous post, so I won’t bore you with it again.

Sunday was also a beautiful day, and my brother and I headed over to see my mum to celebrate HER birthday (most of the people I know were born in April and May!). We had a BBQ in the garden, and we bought her a gazebo, which she’s been asking for for ages. She’s quite fair skinned, so it now means she can sit in her garden without having to worry about getting burned in the sun. Before that she would sit in her lounge by the door, but not actually go outside; such a shame to have a garden and not be able to enjoy it!

Over the past week, we have been watching the semi finals of Britain's Got Talent, and then the final was on Saturday night. The winning act was tipped to be Susan Boyle, who I'm sure everyone's heard of by now. I'm not sure I really wanted her to win, because I knew she would be offered a record contract by Simon either way. The talented singers in the UK can try out for X Factor, but the dancers, magicians, comedians, animal trainers etc don't really have anything. Which is why I never want a singer to win BGT. Which is why I'm glad a dance group won. These guys are incredible (you can see their previous performances on You Tube). I've posted their winning performance here...

THE WINNERS: "Diversity"

And some other good acts:

Aidan Davis (breakdancer)
Flawless (street dancers)
Shaheen Jafargholi (singer)
Julian Smith (saxophonist)
Susan Boyle (singer)
The Dream Bears (dancers)

Lucky? Apparently Not

2009-05-31T10:36:00.009+02:00

Now, don't get me wrong; I love my friends from school. They're kind, interesting people that I get along with, and relish catching up with them whenever we can (which, in all honesty, is not as often as we'd like). But I can't stand it when they speak without thinking.

In all fairness, the school I attended wasn't in our "catchment area", which I'll try to explain now. The catchment area is normally a 5 mile radius around said school, and kids inside that radius can enrol at the school without any problems. The school in my catchment was full when we moved into the area, so my older brother had to go further afield to a school that still had spaces. When an older sibling already goes to the school, you then have more entitlement to go to the same school than other kids who live closer. This worked great for us, because this was the top school in our area.

It also won't be a surprise that the best school in the area attracts wealthier families to live in the catchment area; therefore meaning that eventually, 90% of the kids are from well-to-do families. Normally I don't have a problem with wealthy people. I'm not going to be bitter just because we were brought up in less fortunate circumstances, and I'm not going to complain about the lack of opportunities we had as a result. At the end of the day, my upbringing was less than perfect, but I've grown into a mature, responsible person, and it doesn't take much to make me happy.

But I think by the age of 24, these kids, now adults, should think about what they say, before they say it. In other words, they should know their audience. It was barely 9pm when these two girls started chatting about their uni days, and how their time there seemed to fly by. My mother couldn't afford to send me to university, my father had money tied up in his business, so he couldn't pay either. The hardest thing was that I couldn't get a loan from the government, because they said my father had enough money to send me. In the end I had to accept that there was no money, and I had to go out and work. I missed out on the university experience because of a crazy loop-hole. If I'm honest, I'm not over it, because I could have flourished with a higher education, but the government let me fall through the net because of a stupid rule. I don't blame anyone for this (other than the government!), especially not my friends; they had the opportunity, and they took it - good for them.

The conversation quickly moved to how their first years were awful, because they were homesick, they wanted to see their friends, and they basically had a crap time. But their reasons just didn't seem justified. You're homesick, I understand that, but you're also 18 years old. I was living on my own at the age of 17, working 2 jobs and studying with these girls while I was at school.

One of their mothers actually drove up to the university campus and brought her daughter home each weekend, but this girl was still moaning. Even to this day, their parents are paying money to send their 24 year old daughters travelling round the world, and they still don't see how lucky they are.

It reminds me of a conversation I overheard in class when I was 17. One of my classmates turned 17 (the legal age to drive in the UK), and her mother had bought her a car. A car. Incredible, I know. I've seen "My Super Sweet Sixteen", and it's a world away from what I see day-to-day. But this hideously generous gift wasn't good enough for this brat. It wasn't the right colour, it didn't have the right alloy wheels, and it was a diesel and she wanted regular. Apparently she'd argued with her mother that morning, because, in her words "I told her exactly what I wanted, and she didn't listen". I remember listening to this conversation in disbelief. How can someone so lucky be so ungrateful? I'd have been lucky if I'd got a £20 note in my birthday card.

Urgh, I suppose I am having a bitch, but I do get annoyed at people like this. It's a different world. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only person on this Earth that appreciates the smaller things. I don't have many possessions, but I have a man that loves me, a family that would do anything for me, friends that understand me and a life I love. I have loved my life since I left school; the only resentment comes when I compare it to people who have had everything given to them on a plate - because let's face it; we'd all love an easy life.

Ironically, I probably would have lost Hubby, because when I was trying to apply to university, our relationship was still very new, and we would have just grown apart if I'd moved away. But because I stayed behind, I worked on our relationship, and now we're weeks away from getting married. I doubt I'd be in the same situation if I'd gone to university, so I'm grateful for that.

I consider myself very lucky, because I know people who are worse off than me, and I've been worse off than this. I just don't understand how they can have all of this, on top of having money and a university education thrown at them, and they still pick holes in it.

Reasons to be Happy

2009-05-29T21:42:00.018+02:00

I'm giddy in a good way today. There's just so many good things happening around me!

* The weather is incredible at the moment, and I mean incredible. There hasn't been a cloud in the sky; it's been beautiful. The weather's set to continue until at least Sunday, and they say it's going to be a hot Summer.

* At work today a colleague of mine received an award for all of her hard work in the organisation. It's about time she was recognised, because she goes above and beyond to help people, and on top of all that; she's a good friend of mine.

* Lots of people around me are expecting babies. I'm not sure if it's just because it's Summer and all the bellies are out, but it seems there's loads of them around at the moment.

* I'm getting married five weeks tomorrow! Five weeks!! Now, that's very scary, but so exciting. I have to pinch myself because I quite literally can't believe it. This day has been so long coming, and it's now a matter of weeks. Awesome; in the original sense of the word.

* I've been learning about HTML tags, and found out that:

you can do cool things like this on your blog
* I'm watching "Britain's Got Talent", and it's getting more and more camp. I absolutely love it. These are the Dream Bears:

* Also on BGT, there was a little girl called Hollie Steel, singing "Edelweiss" (which, by the way, is one of my favourite songs in the world, because I'm a sucker for The Sound of Music), who started crying in the middle of her performance. Simon Cowell has assured her they will let her sing again. Pfft, and people say he's mean!

* I paid the final installment of our honeymoon this afternoon. I have a slight sick feeling now, because I only realised today that we booked a "room only" holiday, meaning we have to find more money for food. I'm sure I specified that we wanted all inclusive. Now I just have to admit my mistake to Hubby...

* Before finding this out I bought a really cute denim dress from Oasis (pictured right). I'm ashamed to admit that even though I have absolutely no spare cash this month, and the fact that I was looking for a "little black dress", I found this denim one and I loved it. I don't have many dresses for the Summer, and this was perfect. And what's more; it makes me look really slim! You don't need to know how much it is; because it was too much. I've already cut off the tag and washed it, so Hubby will never know...

* I did also find a "little black dress" (pictured left), which I needed for our joint Stag & Hen party, which is on 8th June. Our theme is "Blues Brothers", and I had the hat, the heels, the stockings and garter, but no dress. Panic over though, because I've found it, and managed to squeeze into a UK size 10 (I'm normally a 12). Unfortunately there's no space for my bra, but the tightness of the material will keep me in check, haha. Me = Cloud Nine.

* I received a letter from my great aunt today, who lives in Homeland # 3. I contacted her a while ago in a bid to find out what she knew of the family. I read her letter when I got back from work today, and she said some really nice things. I was just left feeling like I was flying. There's something about receiving letters from family and friends that can instantly lift your spirits.

* And last of all; it's Friday, which means I don't have to set my alarm tonight :)

Officially More Intelligent Than My PC

2009-05-28T15:21:00.020+02:00

I know computers are supposed to be cleverer than the average human, and that they're supposed to be the ultimate problem solver; but sometimes I'm sure I could run circles around them. Like today...

I have been reading the latest blogs in my feed, and subseqently commented on one, and my computer went absolutely bonkers. It was opening webpage after webpage for about 5 minutes (I dread to think how many pages it had opened at the end of it all); when finally it decided it couldn't continue, had a little panic and beeped at me. Failing the Ctrl-Alt-Del function (which I tried a few times), I ended up having to restart the computer.

Now, I'm no Bill Gates, but I spend about 90 hours a week on the computer, and I know how to work it. And I know this isn't normal behaviour. And I don't know about you, but if I behaved like that at my job; I'd be out the door. Well, perhaps not, but my colleagues would wonder how I'd got past the interview. I think I should sack my PC.

But this isn't the only weird IT issue I've had today. My usual computer has given up the ghost, taunting me with crazy error messages until I had to accept defeat and walk away. The technician (only a phone call away; they're quite useful really) says the hard drive has gone, rendering all my documents inaccessible.

I suppose I'm lucky it wasn't sparking at me, lol. Needless to say; it's been a very strange day, and I've decided this office is as mad as a box of frogs. But as you know; these things seem to happen to me. It's only been a couple of months since I blew up another computer (incidentally, it's the one I'm currently using to tell you this story!)

So, probably quite wisely; I decided I should put a distance between myself and technology (if only for an hour), and I set about sorting out my new passport. Since the application is so awkward (I'm changing my name, but not yet married into the name; my current passport is foreign, even though I'm not...), I chose to take it to the Post Office and pay a fee for their "Check & Send Service", letting them check the details before sending it (since they know more about passport forms than I do) - and paying £78 for the privilege (I should point out that that cost is for the Check & Send service as well as the passport itself, so it's not a total robbery). This getting married malarkey is getting awfully expensive! But hopefully (all my digits crossed), I shall have my new passport, in my married name (yay!) in the next couple of weeks.

What I did learn today though, is that you get a free passport if you are over the age of 80. So that's... 55 more years until I'm eligible. And in that case, I shall hold off all my major travel until then, and reap the benefits :)

I had some pretty decent photos to go with my passport application, hooray! After years of looking pretty gormless on my passports (and having the guards chuckle too), I now take the time to make myself look gorgeous whenever I have to have photos taken. I first started doing this when I applied for my provisional driving license (I still haven't taken any lessons; I only use it for ID when buying alcohol - the UK are really tight on ID). The photos turned out okay too, except for my head looking a bit off centre. I must have a slouch!

And I'm officially back on the Weight Watchers wagon this week after gaining 1lb and weighing more than I did when I first collected my wedding dress.

So I'm sticking to the rules again, pointing everything I eat and refusing to go near chocolate and crisps (my two favourite things!). But this time next week will be a different story; because I will have succeeded!

First Dress Fitting - Crisis Averted!

2009-05-27T12:09:00.003+02:00

I went for my first dress fitting yesterday, and I came out feeling great. My dress is not the nightmare it seemed, and the seamstress said there would be no problem at all in taking it in to fit me. Hooray! What a weight off my mind!

The lovely seamstress, Svetlana, pinned it in to how it would fit, and it looked great. It turns out the £40 I spent on lingerie wasn’t even needed, as the bra made my boobs have a silly shape once the dress was squeezing against me, so I will be going without. She even showed me the bustle, and it was so nice! And my hourglass figure is back!! The alteration fees are double what I expected, and depending how the dress fits on the second appointment, it may cost even more.

This month’s going to be a hard one, since I have to pay out my entire salary on the dress and the final payment of our honeymoon, which is also due. And on top of that I have rent, bills and living to pay for. I think perhaps it was a little unrealistic to expect to stay “in the black” in the run-up to the wedding; but at least I still have my overdraft, which is quite literally keeping me alive!

I guess I don’t really care though. I will just have to watch my spends for the next five weeks; so I will be leaving my credit and debit cards at home each day and only taking what cash I need for the day. It’s worked in the past…

The costs will be worth it, and I should be able to work my way back into the black by Christmas, so it’s not all bad. And by then I’ll have had a brilliant wedding and a beautiful honeymoon to look back on.

My next appointment is on 16th June, when I get to try on my dress and take more photos. Very excited...