What a Good Girl I Am!

I've been caffeine-free for five days now, and in all honesty; I don't feel a difference in my energy levels. I thought I would have had some kind of reaction by now, since I've spent the last ten years drinking Coke on a daily basis.

I'm the only person I know that can pop four Pro Plus, wash them down with 4 cans of Red Bull and STILL not feel anything. Now, before you warn me that that's not a sensible way to live; I should highlight that I was revising for my final exams, working from sunrise to sunset, and I'd finally cracked.

But my insensitivity to caffeine and taurine is probably a good thing, I realise now; because at least I'm not bouncing off the walls after one sip. I'm not about to complain.

I'm feeling super slim today, which is great considering it's THAT time of the month (sorry T.M.I.). I normally feel like a right fatty at this point, so when I saw my now-almost-flat stomach in the mirror this morning, my heart actually leapt with joy. It's put me in such a positive vibe.

You may remember that I stayed the same at my Weight Watchers weigh-in last Tuesday, and I complained that my honeymoon goal was getting more and more unobtainable. Well, this week I've stuck to my points like a trooper. I'm not going to pluck figures from the sky, but let's just say I'll be VERY surprised if I don't lose weight this week.

I have to admit that I've been pretty hungry this week though. I'm hardly an advert for Weight Watchers, I know, but normally I'm quite content on the diet, because I eat filling foods, or foods with little or no point values. But this week has been a mission. Probably because it was the first week I've really stuck to it since March.

My basic pattern has been to either have Coco Pops with skimmed milk (and I'm not talking the 1%, I'm talking the 0.1%, which is basically white water), or toast and Marmite for breakfast, some kind of tinned soup with a bit of bread for lunch, and a low fat dinner.

I'm telling you; at zero points, Marmite is a godsend. And what makes it even better is that they sell it in the squeezy bottles. I'm not quite sure about the point of these, because you would think it would mean you get less messy, but you still have to use a knife to spread it...

The hard part of the diet comes when Hubby has his nights off; tonight being one of them. My will power goes out the window when he's home, because he orders take out - yeah, he's not about to spare my feelings and eat something halfway decent, but he'll go overboard and order an entire bucket of KFC and then leave half of it.

The choice I'm then faced with is to either sit and watch him tucking into his mountain of lovely mouth-watering, colonel's recipe chicken breasts as I make a plate of cous cous; or I can join him and be on Cloud 9... if only for ten minutes.

Those heavenly ten minutes are always worth it; even if I put on weight because of it.

The worst thing I did this week was to have popcorn for breakfast on Sunday. I know why I did this too, and I'm not proud of it. Hubby decided he wanted some popcorn at midnight on Saturday. I helped myself to a few, since I had 3 points left for the day, when he turned around and said "should you really be eating that?"

That gets me angry even when I know I shouldn't be eating it. But when I've spent the entire week depriving myself of every scrap of niceness, I feel I deserve my measly little handful of popcorn. But whatever; I got all stroppy and when he offered me some more, I refused on the principle of it.

So on Sunday morning, I woke up and decided that, to get him back, I would eat a bucket of the popcorn myself. In all fairness, I did point it, and I held back from my food as a result. But it didn't get him back because he didn't even realise I'd eaten it; and even if he had, he wouldn't have cared. The only person who feels the consequences of my actions is me, and believe me; I felt it.

I was starving for the rest of the day. I don't know what possesses me to eat to prove a point, but at least I'm aware that I'm doing it, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one that does it.

I compensated by having a Weight Watchers ready meal for lunch (the chicken and lemon risotto; which I would not recommend if you have any taste buds at all). The only problem came at 9pm, when I had 5 points left, and a belly that was now threatening to consume me from the inside out.

I gave in, primarily because I wasn't prepared to go to bed with such an unruly belly, and because I had only eaten one real meal so far. And in my moment of weakness (read: starvation), I threw four fish fingers and a (rather large) handful of chips in the oven. It was good, but I was now officially over my points.

Well, you can't be perfect all the time.

But today I'm being good again, and I've only had 6 points for breakfast and lunch combined; since I'm saving space for whatever scrumptious sustenance we choose to eat tonight. Yum; I can't weight ;)