I've had a busy couple of days, gluing and sending out our thank you cards, picking up our honeymoon tickets and ironing on fabulously blinging "Mrs X" transfers onto my honeymoon clothes:


Don't be alarmed, I've only got the one, and I've only ironed it onto one black T-Shirt, which I plan to wear on the plane.

I am getting more excited by the day, and I can hardly contain myself. And we still have over two weeks to wait! I'm slowly starting to pull a few things together that I know I will need to pack; like travel detergent, shorts, dresses, sun cream, books... I'm only packing these things because the Great British summer has, once again, been a total washout this year, and I doubt I'll be needing many of my summer clothes before we leave.

But there's always hope, and I would love to be able to top up my tan before we leave - there's nothing worse than being pasty on the first day of your holiday; trying to disguise your milk bottle legs. I'm not as pale as they come; I generally classify myself as having a European colour - perhaps like those in the south of France - opposed to pale colour of my fellow English roses. Having said that; I'm well versed in holidaying with Hubby's family, who are lucky enough to live on the Med and soak up the summer sunshine from April through to October.

I'm also breaking in my white flip flops; the first of 2009, and I stepped in bubble gum already. Sad but true!

And on a final, rather sour note, my laptop has decided to re-acquire the virus it had on 11th July, and therefore is out of action again until Hubby can work out how to get rid of it. Pfft. I'm seriously unimpressed, because all of our wedding photos are on it, and I hadn't managed to get around to burning them yet! Nevertheless, I knew the signs this time, and as soon as it started happening again, I came offline and started a series of gruelling virus scans, which have continued through to this morning when I had to leave for work.

I just hope it's sorted before Saturday, because I'm not spending my birthday without an internet connection...

One Month to Go!

I woke up this morning with a spring in my step, because as of today; our honeymoon is only a month away!

I'm so excited. This will be the first time I've ever been to the United States, and it will mark the furthest I've been from home. It also means I finally get to spend three interrupted weeks with my new husband. I can't wait!

We normally go back to Hubby's Homeland for a week here and there, or we go on holiday with his family. Hubby and I have only been on one "couple" holiday in the entire time we've been together; and it was complete shambles.

We were in the middle of a heat wave, and Hubby and I went down to the west coast, to a town called Newquay. If you aren't familiar with it; Newquay is the place you go when you finish school (a bit like Tijuana I suppose).

But despite the reputation, we weren't going to mingle with the underage drinkers, because Newquay is also famous for its clean beaches, and it's possibly the best surfing location in the UK. And for anyone who's seen Roald Dahl's "The Witches", the hotel it's filmed in is located here:

I'd been to Newquay twice before, but Hubby had never managed to go, so we thought we'd go camping in Newquay for a week; soaking up the sun, chilling out. We had originally been considering going to the Dominican Republic for a week, but in the end the price was just out of our reach, so we settled on a "staycation".

Well, at the end of the week, we'd spent more than we would have done staying at an all inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, so we've since decided that staycations are very pricey!

Unfortunately it was wet and stormy all week, but still lovely and sunny back home (grr...). Nevertheless, we had a lot of fun. We walked along the cliffs, and you can even walk along a strip of coves that lead straight to the town centre. It's a beautiful place; even when it's raining!

On the way back we stopped off at the Eden Project (the world's largest greenhouse):

After leaving, we were on the home straight; or so we thought. The car broke down twice, and the second time we were still 100 miles from home, and Hubby's breakdown cover will drive you home, or to a hotel within 10 miles of the breakdown location.

Unfortunately that left only one option; find a hotel. The mechanic took us to the repair garage, where I put the £800 ($1,400) bill on my credit card. The bank subsequently blocked my account, leaving us penniless in the process. It then meant we had to rely on the goodwill of a nearby hotel to give us a room for a knock down price, and no dinner!

Anyway, enough of my trip through Memory Lane. Hawaii will be our second "couple" holiday, and the best by far. This time next month, I will be on a plane to San Francisco with hubby asleep on my shoulder :)

Good News!

I have two bits of good news to share today.

I mentioned in May that there may have been an offer for a house in Hubby's Homeland, but that we wouldn't know for certain for a few weeks. Well, weeks turned to months, and we had almost given up on the idea until yesterday. The house is ours whenever we're ready to move over there. The conditions are different to what they were, in that we won't be buying the house, but renting it from my father-in-law. It's only a one badroom apartment though, so we would only need it while our first child is young enough to sleep in with us; and afterwards, we can look for something else.

It's such a weight off my mind. I don't know about you, but I've spent my adult years struggling just to make it through to the next pay day. I see friends buying houses and I wish I could be like them, but the reality is we've never made enough money to be able to put anything into savings, and the money we spend on rent is effectively money down the drain. But even before the recession it was near impossible for us to get a mortgage, even though the payments would be less than our rent.

Anyway, I'm not the only person in this situation, and I'm sure that if you're not in the boat; you know someone who is. But we're now lucky enough to have been offered a get-out clause, and it pretty much changes everything, and it means we can start thinking about the family we want to start so much.

Which leads me onto my next piece of news...

I don't know what the etiquette is on this one, but Hubby and I have agreed to start trying for a baby on our honeymoon. I'm so excited! I've been broody for so long now, and it finally seems that things are working in our favour.

Now that we're married, and now that the house is agreed; it just seems like the right time to be thinking about children. So we've set the start of our Hawaiian honeymoon as the point at which we start trying to conceive.

I know I'm jumping the gun here, but if it happens straight away, we could be parents in June. I'm not naïve, I know it might take a while, and I know we may face problems - My mother had trouble conceiving, and went through lengths just to have my brother; so she's always made it known that I might have trouble too. But they never did tests on me, so I won't know until we start actively trying to conceive. I think that's part of the reason we're not holding out much longer to have children... that and the fact that Hubby wants them before he's 30 (in 2011).

So we have six weeks to go, and I'm going to take this opportunity to get my body into shape for then. I'm going to concentrate on my diet and getting to my goal weight, and then it will just be a case of toning up and eating healthily. I've been taking pre-natal vitamins for about a month already. I just need to start reading up on the science of it all...

Phew - getting married, travelling further than I've ever been before, getting a house and trying for a baby... 2009's turning into a great year for us.

Staving off Boredom

1. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? Lara

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My parents had it narrowed down to two names, but they couldn't decide; meaning I was referred to as "baby" for a week. But yes, my name was taken from the name a celebrity used for her daughter. I'm just glad my name's not Moon Unit...

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? When I was frying onion last night. Oh, you mean REAL crying? I'm not actually sure, but probably a couple of weeks ago.

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes, and it used to be really neat until I started working in an office. Now I write so rarely I can't hold a pen as comfortably as I used to. Weird...

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Ham.

6. KIDS? Hopefully very soon *fingers crossed*

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Probably. I can mould my character to fit most situations, but I'm most comfortable when I can be silly. And I like silly.

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? I have this blog, and I also have a written journal for the things I can't talk about on here. Having said that, I can be very negative, and I can't stand to read old journals because I end up re-living the pain, so I now only write about good things, unless the pain is really worth remembering (i.e. death of a loved one).

9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? I don't know WHAT you're talking about...

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yep, but they're naturally larger than average. When I'm sick they get absolutely HUGE. I love scaring the doctors, because they think I'm on the verge of death by suffocation :)

11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Definitely. I'm scared of heights, but I'm determined to overcome it. I would prefer to skydive though. I almost did in 2007, but I couldn't afford it :(

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL? Anything designed for kids. Frosties, Coco Pops, Corn Pops, Weetos, the muesli with the chocolate chunks in... But I'm on a diet, so I normally eat something boring like Bran Flakes. It's really not the same.

13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Only if it's not possible to wrestle my foot out otherwise.

14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically; not particularly. Emotionally; I'm getting stronger every day.

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM? a really creamy vanilla, or Haagen Dazs' Baileys, or Ben & Jerry's Phish Food. Yum....

16. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Body language probably. The way you carry yourself can say a lot about you.

17. RED OR PINK? Red. Pink is girly and flouncy, but red is fiery and strong.

18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Probably my short temper. I'm working on keeping my cool.

19. WHAT DO YOU MISS THE MOST? I miss a lot of things, but most of all I probably miss having an easy life. Having said that, I'm really happy to be where I am, and I'd actually choose the life I have now over the life I had in the past. Just goes to show you can have a harder life, but be a lot happier.

20. DO YOU WORRY WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU? I always worry what people think of me. I know I shouldn't, but it's like I'm constantly trying to be accepted. Even with this blog.

21. WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? Blue and white gingham chef trousers that used to belong to Hubby. And they're Scotchguarded, so I can tip hot oil on myself and not feel it :)

22. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Pasta with tomato, mushroom, onion and garlic sauce. I threw it all together and was surprisingly tasty. Good thing I made enough for three portions!

23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? "8 Out of 10 Cats", which is a comedy game show in the UK, presented by Jimmy Carr.

24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? Probably Electric Blue. It seems cool and collected, but then you hear the name, and you realise that it's actually pretty feisty :)

25. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE SMELL? Vanilla, or coconut. Vanilla is great to wear as a perfume, and coconut reminds me of summer, because when I was a kid, my parents would buy Hawaiian Tropic sun lotion, which always smelled coconutty. I now make sure all my sun lotion smells of coconut. No joke.

26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? It was yesterday at work. It was a boring work call, so I won't bother going into it. Very dull.

27. WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU? Family, friends, Hubby... and happiness. These things are the chocolate chunks in my "cookie of life". I made that up on the spot, but it's pretty good! I'm not normally that sappy though...

28. FAVOURITE DRINK? Coca Cola, without a doubt. It's like a comfort blanket for me. It's so familiar for me, I instantly relax when I have my first sip. I actually grab a can of Coke if I've just been through a trauma, because it calms me. Honestly, it's like nicotine for smokers... but it won't kill me.

29. FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH? I pretty much hate watching sports, however I like watching gymnastics and the "racewalking" (read "really fast and silly-looking walking") they do in the Olympics. That makes me chuckle.

30. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOUR? Light brown, but when I use hair products it tends to look darker.

31. EYE COLOR? Grey-blue, but bluer when I wear my contacts, because they're slightly tinted. Not because I wear coloured lenses, but because if I drop them in the sink, I can still find them :)

32. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yep

34. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? Happy ending!!

35. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? "Baby For Sale", which was surprisingly good, seeing as it went straight to TV.

36. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW? Turquoise.

37. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer, because my body seems to have a Mediterranean climate, and I live in windy old Blighty. Brrrr...

38. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs make everything okay. I only kiss when I'm already happy.

39. FAVOURITE DESSERT? Cheesecake. I would give my right arm for a slice of cheesecake right now. Not my left arm, because I need that to write.

40. IF YOUR HOME WAS ON FIRE, WHAT WOULD YOU SAVE FIRST? Probably my photographs. My life revolves around my photos.

41. WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD? A stewardess for British Airways, and then I wanted to be a vet. I am neither of these.

42. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? I just finished reading "Confessions of a Shopaholic" by Sophie Kinsella, and I was fairly disappointed if I'm honest. All the hype, and for what? The main character just irritated me.

43 WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Apart from my mouse? Nothing. Oh, you meant the design on the actual mouse pad? Nothing. Well, it's blue.

44. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST ON TV? "All Star Mr & Mrs". And it wasn't great viewing.

45. FAVORITE SOUNDS? A child's laugh, the rain falling on the roof of the car, the waves crashing against the rocks, the sound of an incoming text message, a baby with hiccups...

46. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? The Beatles any day. One of my favourite songs of all time is "Let it Be".

47. THE FURTHEST YOU BEEN FROM HOME? Hong Kong. I believe that's 6000 miles. But in ten weeks I'll be in Hawaii, which is 7070 miles from home.

48. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? My eyeballs can vibrate :)

49. WHEN WERE YOU BORN? On a Wednesday afternoon in August.

50. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? London

Lucky? Apparently Not

Now, don't get me wrong; I love my friends from school. They're kind, interesting people that I get along with, and relish catching up with them whenever we can (which, in all honesty, is not as often as we'd like). But I can't stand it when they speak without thinking.

In all fairness, the school I attended wasn't in our "catchment area", which I'll try to explain now. The catchment area is normally a 5 mile radius around said school, and kids inside that radius can enrol at the school without any problems. The school in my catchment was full when we moved into the area, so my older brother had to go further afield to a school that still had spaces. When an older sibling already goes to the school, you then have more entitlement to go to the same school than other kids who live closer. This worked great for us, because this was the top school in our area.

It also won't be a surprise that the best school in the area attracts wealthier families to live in the catchment area; therefore meaning that eventually, 90% of the kids are from well-to-do families. Normally I don't have a problem with wealthy people. I'm not going to be bitter just because we were brought up in less fortunate circumstances, and I'm not going to complain about the lack of opportunities we had as a result. At the end of the day, my upbringing was less than perfect, but I've grown into a mature, responsible person, and it doesn't take much to make me happy.

But I think by the age of 24, these kids, now adults, should think about what they say, before they say it. In other words, they should know their audience. It was barely 9pm when these two girls started chatting about their uni days, and how their time there seemed to fly by. My mother couldn't afford to send me to university, my father had money tied up in his business, so he couldn't pay either. The hardest thing was that I couldn't get a loan from the government, because they said my father had enough money to send me. In the end I had to accept that there was no money, and I had to go out and work. I missed out on the university experience because of a crazy loop-hole. If I'm honest, I'm not over it, because I could have flourished with a higher education, but the government let me fall through the net because of a stupid rule. I don't blame anyone for this (other than the government!), especially not my friends; they had the opportunity, and they took it - good for them.

The conversation quickly moved to how their first years were awful, because they were homesick, they wanted to see their friends, and they basically had a crap time. But their reasons just didn't seem justified. You're homesick, I understand that, but you're also 18 years old. I was living on my own at the age of 17, working 2 jobs and studying with these girls while I was at school.

One of their mothers actually drove up to the university campus and brought her daughter home each weekend, but this girl was still moaning. Even to this day, their parents are paying money to send their 24 year old daughters travelling round the world, and they still don't see how lucky they are.

It reminds me of a conversation I overheard in class when I was 17. One of my classmates turned 17 (the legal age to drive in the UK), and her mother had bought her a car. A car. Incredible, I know. I've seen "My Super Sweet Sixteen", and it's a world away from what I see day-to-day. But this hideously generous gift wasn't good enough for this brat. It wasn't the right colour, it didn't have the right alloy wheels, and it was a diesel and she wanted regular. Apparently she'd argued with her mother that morning, because, in her words "I told her exactly what I wanted, and she didn't listen". I remember listening to this conversation in disbelief. How can someone so lucky be so ungrateful? I'd have been lucky if I'd got a £20 note in my birthday card.

Urgh, I suppose I am having a bitch, but I do get annoyed at people like this. It's a different world. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only person on this Earth that appreciates the smaller things. I don't have many possessions, but I have a man that loves me, a family that would do anything for me, friends that understand me and a life I love. I have loved my life since I left school; the only resentment comes when I compare it to people who have had everything given to them on a plate - because let's face it; we'd all love an easy life.

Ironically, I probably would have lost Hubby, because when I was trying to apply to university, our relationship was still very new, and we would have just grown apart if I'd moved away. But because I stayed behind, I worked on our relationship, and now we're weeks away from getting married. I doubt I'd be in the same situation if I'd gone to university, so I'm grateful for that.

I consider myself very lucky, because I know people who are worse off than me, and I've been worse off than this. I just don't understand how they can have all of this, on top of having money and a university education thrown at them, and they still pick holes in it.

The Best Lemon Cake in the World

So, I'm off to Homeland #2 today (which is why I'm blogging early) for a family get-together. My grandmother's family in Homeland #3 have a get-together on the first Sunday of August. It's such a success, my grandmother's cousins' great grandchildren even go. There's so many of them!

So our family (my grandmother, aunts, cousins etc) decided we would start one of our own in Homeland #2. We thought it would be a good idea, because the cousins are all now leading their own lives, and we're scattered across Europe. If we know we are scheduled to meet on the first Sunday of May, then we know to arrange leave from work, and travel etc. Whoever can come, comes. There's no pressure, and no bad feelings for not turning up. It's harder for us, because it's more than simply jumping in a car; but we have the English Channel to cross; but we're going nonetheless. So 2009 is the first year, and everyone's really excited.

We agreed that my grandmother (now 85, but likes to fuss) shouldn't be allowed to worry about anything, so my cousin's offered to have the event at her house for this year, and we've all agreed to bring a little something with us. Since I'm notoriously awful at cooking, and we will be on the road for 7 hours without a fridge, the only thing I thought to make was this amazing cake.

I've made it twice before; for my 24th birthday. It's the only cake I've ever made, but it's so easy and so scrummy; I couldn't care less if I never tried another cake in all my life. You couldn't get a more lemony recipe than this: layers of lemon-flavoured sponge, filled with home-made lemon curd and then a lemon icing for the finishing touch. It's wonderful. So I'm sharing Delia Smith's recipe with you all:

ICED LEMON CURD LAYER CAKE

INGREDIENTS:

* Grated zest of 1 lemon
* 1tbsp lemon juice
* 175g (6oz) self-raising flour, sifted
* 1 level teaspoon baking powder
* 175g (6oz) butter @ room temperature
* 175g (6oz) caster sugar
* 3 large eggs
* 3/4 jar lemon curd

Pre-heat the oven to gas mark 3 (170°c).

Prepare two 7 inch (18 cm) sandwich tins, 1½ inches (4 cm) deep, by greasing them, lining the bases with silicone paper (baking parchment) and greasing the paper too.

Measure all the cake ingredients into a mixing bowl and whisk until you have a smooth, creamy consistency. Then divide the mixture evenly between the two tins and bake them on the centre shelf of the oven for about 35 minutes or until the centres feel springy when lightly touched with a little finger.

When the cakes are cooked, remove them from the oven and after about 30 seconds turn them out on to a wire rack. When they are completely cold, carefully cut each one horizontally into two using a sharp serrated knife. Now spread the curd thickly to sandwich the sponges together.

Then to make the icing, begin by removing the zest from the lemon – it's best to use a zester to get long, curly strips. Then sift the icing sugar into a bowl and gradually stir in the lemon juice until you have a soft, runny consistency. Allow the icing to stand for 5 minutes before spreading it on top of the cake with a knife, almost to the edges, and don't worry if it runs a little down the sides of the cake. Then scatter the lemon zest over the top and leave it for half an hour for the icing to firm up before serving.

YUM!

Source: Delia Smith Online

Hooray for Hubby!

I'm continuously surprised how fast a weekend can pass; and this weekend was one of those that you just don't seem to feel you've had. I'm back at work on this rainy Monday afternoon and wishing I was tucked up in bed watching reruns of "Friends".

Hubby has found himself a Sous Chef, so much to our relief, he will begin to have days off again in the next month or so. He's really worn out at the moment, so I'm glad he'll finally be able to relax a little, and have some time to himself.

We celebrated with a glass of Pimms (which, if you haven't tried yet; I strongly recommend). Anyway, it's been about 10 months since I made my last Pimms, and I accidentally made it too strong, meaning Hubby went off it completely. I'm hardly one to waste a good drink, so I revelled in being able to drink both, ha ha!

I emailed my stepmum yesterday, giving her the details of our wedding guest list. She's very intricate in the organisation, because we're having the reception at their house, so she wants to be able to sort everything out. She's asked to know final numbers, as well as approximate ages of everyone so that we can plan entertainment etc. It's all go, it seems. I've got to discuss flowers with my colleague, who has offered to help us, and I've got to go for a hair trail on 9th May.

This weekend I'm taking advantage of the bank holiday (Saturday-Monday) and going to Homeland #2. To aid you here; and for the sake of protecting identities:

* Homeland #1 is where I was born and raised (1/2 my heritage)
* Homeland #2 is where my mother was raised (1/4 of my heritage)
* Homeland #3 is where my grandmother grew up (1/4 of my heritage)

It's safe to say I'm a bit of a mongrel, but I'm proud of it. I have family in each country, so they will be mentioned a fair few times, which is why I thought I'd explain them now. We're going to meet up with family, and it will be my last trip abroad before the wedding; so when I get back I will need to surrender my current passport while I apply for a new one in my married name (very exciting!). However, it also means that I can't go to Hubby's Homeland until after the wedding, so if Hubby's grandfather doesn't make it, I won't be able to attend the funeral. It's funny how they penalise you for getting married...

Anyway; here's to another week. It's set to be a busy one, which is good, but it means there's less time to daydream!

My Cousin Gets Hitched!

I went to my cousin's wedding yesterday, and it was great. I had such a good day. I've been pretty stressed out for the past couple of weeks, so it was really nice to be able to forget everything for a day and just enjoy myself. Hubby wasn't able to come along, so as always I look as if I'm a lone spinster amongst lots of happy couples. But people are used to it now; Hubby works; he doesn't play. I think my extended family have met him a grand total of three times in the 8 years we've been together, and only my grandmother and 2 aunts have met him from my family on the continent.

Anyway; back to the wedding. Here's a shapshot of the happy couple; my cousin and his new wife:
The wedding was in Kent, which is about 2 hours drive for us. It was a long day, but we were never bored. They said their vows in the grounds of a gorgeous country estate, and although it was a little cold, it was really nice. The ceremony was followed by a four course wedding breakfast in the main building, before retiring to the pavilion for the evening reception.

They'd hired a singer/guitarist for the early evening, and then a DJ for the disco afterwards. But something I particularly liked was that they also had a "Chill Out Room", where you could get away from the music if you don't fancy dancing all night. I don't know about you, but I don't do dancing. Not because I don't like it; because I love dancing. I just can't dance in front of people... unless I'm really drunk; but getting really drunk isn't something I'm prepared to do at a family wedding!

The cutting of the cake, the evening buffet (which I was too stuffed to eat), the chocolate fountain (which I found space for), and even the Pick & Mix was all in the Chill Out Room, so I was pretty happy for the evening!

Hubby, being a chef, and being obsessed with food hygiene, has banned me from having a chocolate fountain at our wedding. I wasn't really bothered, as I've never really been part of the craze. But this chocolate fountain may have changed my mind forever. Now, I know that they add oil to help the chocolate flow, and I know that the constant tepidity of the chocolate encourages bacteria growth, but it's still chocolate! This fountain setup was incredible. I always assumed they only used strawberries and marshmallows, but no! They also had melon, banana, profiteroles, Belgian waffle, fudge, and so much more. And being on Weight Watchers, I had the strawberries. If only! I actually made a point of avoiding the strawberries, and instead had the waffle, marshmallow and profiteroles. When I come off the diet, I do it properly!

The only downer to the wedding was that I fell head over heels (literally) down a flight of stairs! I've since been asked whether I was drunk or wearing high heels, but unfortunately I can't use either of those excuses; I had been drinking water, and I was wearing flats! I'm now avoiding all the bruises on my elbow, leg, knee, back, hip, and head! They had to be the stairs with the metal edges. Luckily it was only my brother that saw, so I was able to regain my pride by the time I got back to my family.

I'm not sure how you feel about weddings; I know some people hate them, or think they're tedious and a bore. My little brother, who's just turned 14, thinks that; and I used to think like that too. But when I was growing up, we didn't get invited to many weddings, and if we did, we would only be invited to the reception, so there was none of this sitting through ceremonies to worry about. I don't think my parents' divorce helped either, because from then on, I thought marriage was a waste of time. I probably wouldn't have been a good person to have around at a wedding ceremony!

But now I'm older, and probably because I'm in a relationship myself, I absolutely love going to weddings. It's such a cliche, but I love watching a couple get married, because you see how much they love each other, and you're lucky enough to be able to witness that moment that they're joined in marriage - a lifelong commitment; and they chose you to be there with them.

On top of all that, I'm planning my own wedding at the moment; a wedding which I never envisaged happening because of my view of marriage when I was growing up; and my friends are also starting to get married, so I'm being invited to a few, and I get to see their different interpretations of their "Big Day".

I knew from the start that my cousin's wedding would be much grander than ours; because both my aunt, and my cousin (the groom's sister) are organisers for wedding shows, so they have great contacts, and most probably great discounts to go with them. Because of this, there was actually a lot of discussion leading up to this wedding, as we tried to guess what would be in store for us, but at the end of it; it was nothing short of brilliant. It was grand, yet stylish. Nothing was overdone, nothing was showy. It was very tasteful; a wedding to be proud of.

People asked why I haven't asked them for similar discounts, but I'd started planning our wedding before realising that they were involved in this business, and we already had our ideas sketched out. Our wedding will be very different, and I think it will be interesting to have such different weddings in the period of ten weeks.

Are you getting excited? - I must have been asked that question about ten times yesterday. Of course I'm excited; I can't wait to marry Hubby, and start the rest of our lives together. I think about standing opposite him and looking into his eyes as I say my vows, realising that I have everything I want in him. But of course there are stresses too, and sometimes (or quite often at the moment), I find it hard to see through the chaos and remember why we're doing this. But I do remember, and I'm really looking forward to when it's our turn; in 69 days!

Parents Are Human Too

It's a strange day when you first realise that your parents aren't the walking encyclopaedias you thought they were, but I can still remember it. This realisation doesn't change your life, at least, not when you're six years old; but I certainly believe it changes the way you look at them. Not in a bad way; but it makes you realise they're just like you, and they're learning too.

In my mother’s case, it was when I was asking her how to spell something. I don’t remember what the word was now, but I remember being surprised as I saw her reaching for the dictionary in a bid to confirm the spelling before spouting the wrong reply to her then very impressionable daughter. My mother does really well though, because English isn’t her first language. It’s not even her second; but her third. But to listen to her, you’d never know - if it wasn’t for the occasional Belgo-African lilt. Anyway, she astounds me, even today, because her knowledge of the English language is so thorough; she puts native English speakers to shame. So you can imagine my surprise when I managed to challenge her on this one word. I remember actually asking her why she didn’t know, and that’s when she told me; “I don’t know every word”. She's right, and I don't know why I expected her to know everything, but as a child, you do.

My father is a different kettle of fish. He’s not cocky, but he likes to blag his way through things, so at least he sounds as if he knows what he’s talking about - especially to his children! When we were kids, we would stay with him for the weekend, and he would take us to the most amazing sites in England; Stonehenge, Hadrian’s Wall, the Roman Baths… You may be aware that tourist attractions such as these will often have plaques with information about what you're looking at, what it was used for, and its importance in history. My dad would read and learn; to this day he loves learning, and I really admire him for that. Once he had digested this information, he would reign us in and teach us about the site; telling us all about what he'd learnt, except he would pass off the information as his own knowledge, because he wanted us to think he was the incredible dad that knew everything. In all fairness, he does know a LOT about all kinds of subjects, but like everyone, there are gaps to his knowledge, which he seems to want to hide. Anyway, once I actually caught him reading off the information straight from the plaque. He would say something like "kids, did you know that in the sixteenth century, this stone was used for ritual sacrifices? It was only when..."

You've got to admit that the human brain is an amazing organ. You can be ninety years old, and still learn something new; AND you can learn it from someone you least expect; a tourist, an arrogant young man on the train, a toddler, a newborn baby.

What you learn in your life shapes you into the person you become; and as a person, you are ever-changing. Nobody ever stays the same. It makes me wonder who I might be today if I'd learned something different to what I did. If I'd learned a second language from birth; I might be jet-setting round the world in a high-flying career. Life really is a gamble.

20 Things You Didn't Know About Me

Anyone who's on Facebook may already have seen this sort of thing flying around. The idea is similar to the old fashioned "chain mail" - you write it, "tag" your friends in it, and then they write their own version of it and tag you back. I thought I would add it in here for a multitude of reasons, but mainly because I had some time on my hands while Hubby was watching the repeats of "Red Dwarf" that he missed from over the Easter break.


1. I love buying books, but rarely read them. I don't care whether they're novels or reference books; if I like it, I'll buy it. At last count I had around 30 I hadn't read; and that's not counting the numerous books I've lent to friends and not had back, and those I've given to charity after realising I'm never going to be desperate enough to read them.

2. I'm left-handed and proud. But I'm not one of those Lefties that writes with their hand curled round above the line they're writing. That just looks awkward. I love being a Lefty though, because it makes me different. It does, however, mean that I'm prone to smudge my work if I'm using anything other than a biro. I have left-handed scissors and a left-handed ruler - the numbers go from right to left. Other cons of being a Lefty include using a tin opener (rather awkward), sitting next to a Righty in a tightly-packed restaurant, and if I was being assessed based on my body language, I would be accused of lying, since Lefties apparently look to the other side when trying to recall information from your history (e.g. what you had for breakfast), but Righties will look to this direction when trying to fabricate a lie. Let's hope that I'm never in that situation! And finally, the icing on the cake; Nostradamus claimed that those who were left-handed would be afflicted. Perhaps that explains a few things...

3. I can only lose weight when I have motivation to do so. When I am motivated; I'm like a trooper. I lost 30lbs on WeightWatchers when I was 21, but watched my weight creep back up until this year, when I went back on the diet to lose the weight again for my wedding, and I've lost 15lbs in three months. I'm telling you; don't get in the way of a bride to be; she will knock your socks off!

4. I'm a closet fan of cheesy pop. I say closet fan because I refuse to talk about music in social situations, I'm embarrassed of my CD collection and iPod playlist, and I don't let on when I have no idea who Lady Gaga is. But don't get me wrong; I like it this way. I like what I like, and I'm not going to change for anyone. But honestly, some of Britney's songs are amazing.

5. I put way too much pressure on myself. My dad's dad was pretty harsh when my dad was a kid; he would always demand to know why my dad didn't get 100% on all tests, and my dad was expected to deliver. My dad didn't bring me up like this, but there was a certain expectation to succeed. It was hard for me to accept that I wasn't career-driven. I've only just started to be okay with the idea that I'm going to be married young, and that we intend to start a family young. When I was growing up we were always told to get our career sorted before anything else, but sometimes life doesn't figure out like that.

6. I love writing novels; I can spend hours and hours engrossed in my work. But I don't let anyone read them; I don't even talk about it to other people. ask any of my friends, and they won't know anything about it. When I finish one, I hit the delete key, and it's gone. Just like that. Forever.

7. I think Johnny Depp is absolutely gorgeous. He's the one celebrity I would put on my "list". Of course, I don't really have a list, but if I did, it would just be Johnny. He's lovely, especially as Captain Jack...

8. I'm a strong believer in not regretting a single thing in life. I've been through bad times, like everyone else, but those bad times have lead to good times. The one that stands out most for me is when I got depressed, dropped out of college, moved home and became totally cut off from everyone. I suppose I had to spend about six months getting back into the swing of things, and then I met Hubby. If I hadn't gone through that time in my life, I wouldn't have moved house, and I wouldn't have met him. I wouldn't be getting married this summer, and I wouldn't be as happy as I am right now. So the next time I think my life is crap; I just have to remind myself what good can come at the end of it all. It keeps me going.


9. I taught myself to type whilst on study leave for my GCSEs. For those not native to the UK, GCSEs are the final exams taken in Secondary School (High School). I decided I couldn't be bothered to revise, and I spent my days on chat rooms. The more interesting your chat partner is, the faster you try to reply; and in turn you become a faster typist! I may have missed out on one of my GCSEs from doing this, but I have a great typing speed on my CV!

10. My favourite drink in the world is Coca Cola. I don't smoke or drink (much), and I've never taken any drugs, other than those available over the counter. Coke for me is like a cigarette. The familiarity calms me, and the sugar relaxes me. When I've had a hard day, or a shock to the system, I'll crack open a can of Coke and sit back. It's the best feeling.


11. When I was in first school I wanted to be a stewardess for British Airways. I actually drew a picture of myself in 30 years time, and I was dressed as a trolley dolly with a runway in the background. After that we had to draw a picture of ourselves in 60 years, and I was a grandmother with loads of grandchildren - that one's still possible! When I was in Secondary School, I wanted to be a vet. Until I realised it was harder to become than a doctor. I think that was the day I let my dream crumble!

12. I love eating pickled onions. Perhaps that's my English side coming through. I can literally polish of a whole jar of them in a day.

13. I hate cooking. I mean, I'll do it if I have to, but I really don't like doing it. My friends say it's good that I'm marrying a chef, but in the 7 years we've been together, I think he's made me four meals - and one of them was pasta in tomato soup.

14. I can wiggle my eyeballs back and forth really quick; except you have to get really close to me to be able to see it... so I only mention it to people I know VERY well!

15. I have chronic migraines, and I've had them since I was 14. They had to get to the point where they were daily and lasting up to 9 days for a doctor to take me seriously. Now I'm on a lovely drug called Sumatriptan, which sorts me out within an hour of an attack. Gotta love those pills...

16. I only realised my hair was naturally curly at the age of 22. In all fairness I had the most amazing blonde wavy hair when I was young, but then adolescence came, along with the Frizz Fairy, and made it unsightly. I wore it in a ponytail from the age of 12 to 22, when I discovered a mousse strong enough to keep it in check. But I can't really afford the mousse on my salary, so I can only use it about 6 times a month, but it also gives me the "wet look", which isn't really ideal for the wedding. I'm interested to see what the stylist can suggest...

17. I'm absolutely obsessed with photography. I even worked as a freelance wedding photographer for a time, but have now reigned it back to being just a hobby, because I find that when I HAVE to do something; I no longer enjoy it.

18. I'm also obsessed with genealogy. To the layman, that's tracing your family tree. I'm the youngest person I know of that is doing this to any serious extent. I'm currently back to 1708 on my paternal line, but back to the 1400s on non-direct lines.

19. I was in the top group for spelling when I was at school, but I still have issues with the word "premises" and "accommodation"

20. I "suffer" from Night Terrors. I put suffer in quote marks because I am classed as a "sufferer", but I think they're actually quite interesting. They only seem to be about bugs crawling all around me. I wake up screaming, and I've once even smacked Hubby in the face after dreaming he had a tarantula on him. I think they come out more when I'm stressed, and there can be weeks when I wake up screaming on 4 different nights. The only real trouble is that every time I have one of these fdreams; I develop a little more of my phobia of creepy crawlies. It's getting to the point that I see a spider and I break out in a cold sweat!

First Post

This is my first post. I'm interested to see how much I stick to this, since I'm notoriously awful at keeping a journal. Partly because everything I wrote tended to be sad or hard to read back. Having first realised this about two years ago, I promised to only write about the good things; or at least, not about the mundane everyday strops!

That way when I look back I will remember the good times, cherish the celebrations and smile as I remember. I won't ignore the sad times; but I will filter them out and only write about the truly meaningful times. They deserve to be remembered just as much as the good times, but at least I don't moan about "that cow from work"...

I started writing again in the run-up to the wedding, but I've currently misplaced my diary, so I'm at a loss. I never thought I'd say that about losing a diary, but I wanted to be able to record everything from these few months, before they fade into my past. The thoughts, the feelings, the emotions; all of it. You're only supposed to get married once, and I want to record it all so I never forget.

So here goes; I want this site to be an account of my life as a Lara. We get married on 4th July; just over three months from now. But I'll talk about that later!