Three Month Check

I'm here, I promise! I've just had a look at my blog and noticed that I've only posted four times since Baby C was born. Four! This has got to change.

So from now on, I vow to post more regularly. I can't promise you I will post weekly, but certainly more than once a month. So here goes, a quick catch up...

Baby C is about to turn three months old; I can hardly believe it. She changes every day, and I look back at the first photos of her, and she doesn't even look like the same person. She started smiling when she was siz weeks old, and now you can't stop her grinning back at you. You can just look in her direction and she's already flashing a mad grin your way; she's incredible.


And she chats more than ever. It's getting to the point where you chat to her and she responds. She clearly has a lot to say; if only I could understand her!

She's much more aware of things around her now, and she would much rather be sitting up looking around than lying down all the time. So I try to sit her up on the sofa, and then this happens:


I guess it's a bit too exciting for her after all! She's also paying more attention to her toys, which is good. We bought her a toy cow, which she seems to love, so that was a good investment. She was given three comfort blankets when she was born, so I pulled them out of storage and gave them to her, only to find that she preferred her muslin square


I can tell she's going to be one of those kids that prefers to play with the box, not the toy. Never mind. I suppose I can always pass them on to a friend in the future.

Her head control is getting much better. She doesn't take too well to tummy time unless she's lying on someone's chest, at which point she's looking around at everything, her eyes wide and her mouth open in wonder. We bought her a doorway bouncer a few weeks ago, and while her head control isn't completely there, we put her in it for a few minutes today; just long enough for a couple of photos:


It will be at least another month until she's able to use it unaided, so for now she'll have to make do with her activity mat.

In other news, we went back to Homeland # 1 to introduce Baby C to the rest of our family and friends. We had such a great week, even if it was chaos from start to finish. We were zipping around the country trying to see as many people as possible in the limited time we had. My mum, dad and younger brother had already met Baby C, but for my stepmum, older brother and sister-in-law it was the first time, so I made sure I got lots of photos for her when she's older.

We also made sure we saved enough space in our suitcases for a shopping spree. I'm actually a little ashamed of how much we brought back with us...



And that's just the baby stuff. But in my defence, we bought an entire bed-in-a-bag, bath towel, rucksack, and we were given a whole pile of clothes from a friend, so I guess it's not as bad as it looks! I only bought myself a top, and that was only because Baby C threw up on me when we were out, and I had nothing to change into, but Hubby bought a couple of things for himself, and we bought some DVDs, which we ended up having to leave behind with my mum until next time because of the weight restrictions.

Travelling with an infant was harder than I thought it would be, but in a way it was also easier. Dealing with a baby and an airport was hard work, but she was so good in the plane, I can be nothing less than proud of her. She cried a little during take-off on the flight out, but we gave her a bottle and she went to sleep. Landing in Homeland # 1 and the return flight, we didn't hear a peep. She was as good as gold.

the rest of it is just day-to-day stuff which, for now, can be forgotten. Now that I hope to post more frequently, you will be hearing about a more varied selection of events, opposed to the baby updates all the time!

I jsut want to add that if you're still reading along; thanks for being patient with me. I'm so busy, but haven't stopped thinking about all my fellow bloggers, and I really hope to be back here properly now.

Life Suddenly Got Serious

First of all; happy due date to me! It seems like only a couple of months since we found out we were expecting a baby, but time really has flown. I know I said I would update you on the pregnancy in my next post, but it turns out I'm here to announce the birth of my beautiful baby....

GIRL!

I went into labour on Tuesday 27th April, and Baby Girl was born on the same day; weighing 7lb 8oz, 48cm long and with lots of blonde hair. I know everyone says it, but I am so in love.

I woke at around 8am on Tuesday feeling cramps in my lower belly. Although not painful, I couldn't sleep through them, so chose to get up. When I got up they intensified, so hoping it was the real thing, I showered and waited as long as I could before waking Hubby. The poor guy had a migraine, so he was almost as useless as me as we tried to finish packing my hospital bags.

We had our 39 week appointment with the midwife at noon, and decided we would still try to go. As we were walking to the hospital, my mother-in-law passed and picked us up, taking us the rest of the way. The midwife took one look at me and realised I was probably in the early stages of labour, but too early to stay, so advised us to go home and wait it out there.

We headed back to spend the afternoon with my in-laws, but straight after lunch I went to bed, and then the contractions got stronger. You may know that my mother-in-law was a midwife until her retirement, so she spent an hour or so coaching me through my contractions and reminding me to breathe; something you're not normally coached on here until you get to the hospital.

When the contractions were 5 minutes apart and lasting a minute each, we headed to hospital. Walking into the hospital was hard, because the contractions were coming every minute or so at that point, and I was having to stop and breathe through them before I could continue.

Arriving, my lovely midwife Tina booked me in, and I got straight into a warm bath, took some co-codamol and waited it out. Pretty soon I was on the gas and air (good stuff; I strongly recommend it). When my waters broke in the bath, I got the "sudden urge to push", which I promise you, you can't ignore.

They wheeled me through to the delivery to examine me, and smacked me into the door on the way in... whoops!

At this point I was inhaling the gas and air so much so that I was falling asleep with it in my mouth. I heard them saying I was fully dilated, and in my head I was laughing at the poor woman that had to deliver a baby without any more pain relief. Had I not been so high at the time I would have panicked, realising it was me that had to push this baby out with nothing more than Entonox in my system.

I spent about 40 minutes pushing, and towards the end I was getting lazy, telling them I couldn't possibly do it (I bet everyone says that). And when I thought I'd pushed out half the baby's head, they tried to motivate me further by saying "you're doing so well, we can see a coin-sized part of the baby's head!"

Then I started freaking out again. That much pain for a coin-sized amount of head?!

But Tina and my mother-in-law were incredible; they knew exactly what to say to spur me on, and I found the determination to get there when Tina told me she wanted the baby out in the next contraction. She only meant the head, but somehow (I still don't know how), I managed to have the entire baby born in the next contraction.

The midwives had to catch her because she came out so fast!

My labour was 6 hours, but only 2 hours were spent at the hospital. I spent three days in hospital, and came home yesterday. Hubby and his family have been so wonderful while I've been away; painting, cleaning and clearing the house for our return, and it's finally starting to look like a home fit for our little family.

But now for the photos; my beautiful baby daughter, Chloe:

All Moved, But... Where Are Our Things?

I can't believe how long it's been since I last posted. I am still here; just. So much has happened, which I promise to update you on in the coming weeks. Life has been so busy with the move, but now I have more time to be able to post, so here goes. I will do it gradually...

I'm now 32 weeks pregnant. The time has gone so quickly already, so I dread to think how fast the last few weeks will go! I am now this big:


And I feel like if I get any bigger, I will explode. Looking at me, I still have plenty of space to grow, but the aches are coming thick and fast now, so I wonder what I will be feeling like in another 8 weeks! I have lots of stretchmarks, but luckily the majority are on the underside of my bump, so I am in blissful ignorance of their presence!

In regards to the move, I worked up until 12th February, and we spent the weekend packing our things. I kept out all the important things until the last minute, but Hubby decided to pack everything left in unmarked boxes, "boxes of crap" he called them, resulting in me losing my underwear, maternity clothes and toiletries.

Anyway, we officially moved out of our place on Monday 15th February, and moved in with my mum for the week while we tied up loose ends, met up with family etc. Hubby's parents came up to England to meet us and help share the load in their car. Hubby's mum is a retired midwife, and it was reassuring to have her on the journey with me; just in case something happened and I went into early labour.

We left England on 20th February, and made the journey to Homeland # 2 to see my grandmother, aunts and a few cousins, before continuing our journey through Europe and down to Hubby's Homeland. However we didn't get any further than Poitiers in France before the van broke down on us. We hadn't expected it, since we had taken it for a full service and had repairs done on it before leaving England, and everything seemed to be in working order. But now it seems the engine has gone. Completely.

The garage in France quoted us £5,000 for a new engine; a cost we couldn't afford. They then offered to scrap the van for us, but they couldn't do anything without the vehicle documentation; something we didn't have. The person we bought the van from was really lazy in submitting the form to the DVLA, and therefore we hadn't received copies of the documentation before we left England. Now we were in limbo. We promised to get the documents to them, but in the meantime we couldn't wait there in France, so we all crammed into Hubby's parents' car, and continued the journey to Hubby's Homeland with only the basics:

* Travel clothes (consisting of sweats and "Guinness" T-Shirts)
* Basic toiletries
* My medical notes
* Jewellery
* One laptop

To this day we are still surviving on these things alone. The van is still in France, but now we are debating whether to get a reconditioned engine sent from England to be fitted into the van, and for it to be given a new lease of life; or to scrap it as originally intended. The paperwork still hasn't reached us, but it is in the mail as we speak. We hope to receive it tomorrow.

People are asking why we don't just scrap it and be donw with it, and I can only tell them it's because of the costs. We would have to pay to hire a van to take us back up to France, transfer all our things over, possibly pay to have the old van scrapped, drive back to Hubby's Homeland (all the time paying toll roads and hotels), only to have to give the hired van back and buy another vehicle here. Vehicles here come with a minimum price tag of £3,000. You can't seem to get an old banger over here like you can in England. It's for that reason that we're now considering paying to have the van fixed, and then at least we still have a vehicle at the end of all this.

The choice is obviously a gamble, and we're still liaising with both the seller of a reconditioned engine in England, and the garage that has our van in France, as to what the best option will be. I will keep you posted.

But on to today; we are going for our 4D scan in less than 3 hours. I need to get some lemonade to wake up the baby...

I'll update you more the next time I post.

In One Month Today...

We will be leaving the UK and moving abroad to start a new life in Hubby's Homeland. One month! I'm anxious, I'm scared... if I'm honest I don't really want to go, but I'm an adult and I'm about to be a parent. I have to get used to doing things I don't want to do.

Anyway, ignore me. I'm sure things will work out well in the end.

I've been back in the UK for 4 days already, but only just had an opportunity to update you all. The trip to Hubby's Homeland went well. We didn't manage to sort out all we had hoped, but we got the basics sorted.

First of all, it was great to see the in-laws. We hadn't seen them since the wedding in July, so we had a lot to catch up on, and I had a belly to show them. Hubby's Homeland is a place where everyone knows everyone, and good news travels fast, so it seems that wherever we went, someone was congratulating us.

The situation with the house is still not settled, but I don't think it will be for a while. We've probably got a temporary base in the one-bed flat, but it's so tiny it really isn't practical for 2 people with a baby. I think I measured the bedroom at 3m x 3.5m; it will fit a double bed if you have nothing else in the room. For that reason, we would need to swap the bedroom over with the lounge, which is slightly bigger, so we could get the cot into the room, and have a really small lounge. It will be okay for a few months, but certainly nothing long-term.

After that, we have the possiblity of Hubby's grandmother's house, which is a 2 bedroom flat near the town centre; but she would be living there too. That's not such a big problem until the baby needs its own room. Oh, and she doesn't speak English. And I only speak English.

Cue major awkwardness.

That's the only thing I'm worried about, but I know that it's the most likely eventuality, so I need to get used to the idea. Trouble is, while we would be buying the house from her, and paying the mortgage, I would feel like it wasn't our place, and would feel like I feel when I live with the in-laws - like I can't be myself. It's not ideal in that respect, so I'm not totally happy, but it's a house, and it's the baby that matters.

Hubby's Homeland is also a very hard place to get a house, so I am grateful we've been offered something. We know a couple who applied for housing when they got engaged. They've had 2 weddings, a long TTC journey, and their baby is now 5 months old, and they are still waiting for a house of their own. So I can't complain.

I've asked Hubby if we can stay in the tiny flat for at least a month after the baby's born. While it will be tight, I think it's important that we have time together as a family unit, without other relatives around. I know Hubby's grandmother would be really helpful to have around, but in the first month I will probably be going out of my mind with stress and exhaustion, so it's the worst time to have people around that you can't say goodbye to at the end of the day.

If we have a month alone with the baby, we can at least get to grips with being parents before thinking about living with someone else. I don't want her to have to walk around on eggshells for fear of upsetting me, and most of all, I don't want to unleash my hormones on her when she's only trying to help. I don't know if I'm explaining myself properly...

Hubby's heard of a few job opportunities. The one he's holding out for still haven't got around to releasing their applications yet, so he can't apply until February. We don't like that it's so uncertain, but it's a good opportunity, and because of Hubby's experience, he's very employable, so I'm sure he'll find something. The recession hasn't affected Hubby's Homeland, so there are no job shortages there, which makes things that little bit easier.

Hubby's mum took me to see her old colleagues in the maternity department of the hospital, and arranged for me to have a look around the ward etc. She also got me in with the community midwife who took a look at my notes and took my blood so she can get me processed before we move back over in February. I'm glad we went over this week, because when we go back in February, I will be thrown straight into appointments and checkups, so I won't miss out on anything.

They've already booked me in with a specialist to discuss the heart condition my grandmother has, which they ignored in England. I'm glad they're looking into it. They've also booked me in for what they call "parent craft", which I think is where they coach you through the labour process. I also have a dentist appointment booked (which I'm not especially excited about) and my 4D scan booked for the first week in April! I can't wait for that one!

On the return flight I got fantastic treatment! The lady at the check-in desk noticed I was pregnant and gave us priority boarding, which meant we got to sit right at the front with extra legroom. And we had great luck with our luggage; the second we got to the luggage belt, our bags were there for the taking. And they say Easyjet is crap; I beg to differ!

And on the baby front, it's spent the week kicking up a storm, but now I'm back at work I'm hardly feeling anything. It's moved now though, because up until 24 weeks, I only ever felt kicks up to the level of my belly button, but now I feel them just under my ribs. It's moved so much in a week, and the kicks are harder now.

I had my first bout of heartburn on Monday. This is going to be too much information, but throughout my life I've had those moments when you have a little sick come up, but then you have a swig of a drink, and it's gone. I thought that was heartburn.

Nope; heartburn is worse.


I went to see the midwife for my 25 week appointment yesterday, and she seems happy with how everything's going. She advised me to start counting the baby's movements, and if I have below 10 per day, I should get it checked out. She also advised me to take off my rings in the next few weeks. I was deliberating yesterday, and I've taken them off for good now. My jewellery isn't insured, and there's no way I'm having them cut off me!

Family Matters

I find myself wondering what things will be like when Hubby and I move in February. I know many good things will come from it, but I also fear bad things will come.

Our family, like many others, has its problems. They may not be as big as others, but they affect the dynamics and happiness of those I love. Often, I feel like my only role within the family is the negotiator. People turn to me to help sort out misunderstandings.

Am I happy about that? Not really, but you get what you're given.

My mother has fought for almost thirty years to ensure a good life for her children, but my brother doesn't always act the way most sons do. There is a reason for this, which I won't go into, but let's just say; they are both right - to a point.

I'm not saying he's a bad person; on the contrary. He's a kind, genuine and loving person, but sometimes he doesn't stop to listen, or try to understand what people are telling him. Sometimes my mother can't explain herself properly, and therefore can't get her point across. Sometimes she is confused for overreacting when in fact I think she's just misunderstood.

In short, their characters clash. They always have done, and I believe they always will. It's caused many problems over the last 20 years, and I often wonder if either of them are learning anything from this.

I'm happy to help, but sometimes I dread answering the phone, because I know it's going to create stress that I don't need. At the same time, this is my family, and I love them unconditionally, so of course I'm going to do everything in my power to help them. I just wish they could work out how to deal with each other.

Hubby is the only person who knows how this effects me, because I can't talk to them about it. Without me, I wonder if things would ever sort themselves out. And if I move away, I can't be here to help them. I worry what will happen in the future, even though I shouldn't have to worry. I worry that when I go, they won't be able to find a middle ground, and there will be nobody to help them find it. They will argue, and I see them drifting apart. I won't be able to see them as much as I'd like, but they will be able to see one another, but may choose not to.

To me, family is the most important thing in this world. Your parents, siblings, partners and children are to be treasured. They may not be perfect, but they are a part of you, and you should accept them for who they are, and work with it. You shouldn't try to change them - they are who they are because of their imperfections.

I can't do much from 2000 miles away, and I feel guilty for moving, but this is my time, and I need to give my child the best upbringing I can possibly give.

Sometimes I just wish I could live my life without worrying what will happen to those I love.

Call me the Tantrum Fairy

Day three, and I'm an emotional wreck. Hubby would argue, but I don't normally consider myself prone to PMT; however today I can't seem to stop!

I found out this morning that my dad isn't going out of town after all, and that we could have told him about the pregnancy this weekend. However it then means that my mother, older brother and sister-in-law won't know until after the honeymoon, because last night was the last night I would see them before we fly.

I know it's not a big thing, but it now means I have to keep quiet for three more painful weeks because of disorganisation. I'm finding it so hard to keep quiet as it is. But I know I won't mind so much on Saturday; when I get to spend 3 full weeks talking to Hubby about the pregnancy, and bore him silly. At the moment I only see him for an hour each day, and I don't want to overwhelm him with baby talk, so I'm pretty limited and only able to talk to people online about it.

So that would explain my blog rant ;)

Seriously though, I'm having a wonderful week, despite feeling constantly drained and emotional. It's all part of the experience, and I'm just glad to be going through it, because it only ever felt like a distant dream.

I went to my Weight Watchers weigh-in last night to discover that I'd lost another pound, despite eating cakes and scones this week. I have come to the conclusion that my body only ever loses weight when I feed it junk food. It's a weird but rather exciting realisation; though I don't think it will do me much good when I have a baby relying on me to provide the essential nutrients...

I told my Weight Watchers leader that I was pregnant, and that I wanted to continue going to the meetings (but not weighing), because I want to ensure that my mum still goes and gets to her goal weight), and she said it was fine, and that she too was pregnant! She hasn't said a word to anyone yet, so it's like we're sharing a secret with one another.

Anyway, that's my last weigh-in with Weight Watchers for now, and it feels good. I didn't get to my goal weight, but I got down to 139.5lbs; under 10 stone! I'm thrilled to be 9-stone-something for the honeymoon; the lightest I've been in 4 years!

Lastly, I wanted to say a huge thank you to those that have sent me their warming congratulatory messages. They mean so much to me at the moment, and I just wanted you to know that.

The Best Gift in the World

I literally can't believe it! I woke up early and went straight to the bathroom to test. I wear my contact lenses to bed, and when I get up, I'm bleary eyed for a moment until the sleep clears. But today I wasn't prepared to wait. I took the test and headed into the lounge, turned the TV on and waited. I looked at the test before the allotted time, and still bleary eyed, I saw the line emerging. I frowned, thought nothing of it; my contact lenses must be dirty.

But looking back at it, the line was there, plain to see. I couldn't believe it; I couldn't be that lucky...


Well, I didn't wait until the evening to tell Hubby, because I couldn't hold in my joy. I was jumping around the lounge squealing; I had to tell someone. I boiled the kettle and poured him a coffee in a mug decorated with lots of "No 1 Daddy" script, (after all, 8am is too early for beer...) and went to wake him up...

Me: "Honey, honey, wake up"
Him: "Mmph, go away"
Me: "Do you want some coffee?"
Him: "No, leave me alone" (he's not a morning person)
Me: "No, I think you want this coffee, it's in a special mug!"
He opened his eyes, looked at it and laughed slightly, closing them again and trying to go back to sleep. He thought I was being silly.
Me: "no, you don't understand", and waved the test around in front of his face.
He looked at it, frowned and sighed. "I need to pee".
Me: "is that all you can say?"
Him: "I need a pee!"

I wait in the lounge, he comes in and looks at the test again, this time comparing it with the diagrams on the box. He too realises it's a positive. He shrugs, "well, I had no doubt; I am amazing", and then he smirks and tells me his coffee isn't strong enough. Well, not after that shock, no

Yeah, he's not a morning person, but when I left he was smiling, so that's a good sign!

Wedding Presents...

Our lounge, though tidier than usual, seems smaller than usual. But that's because we had our wedding gifts delivered on Saturday morning!!

I then had to wait until midnight for Hubby to get home so that we could open them together. As you probably know, we're looking at moving back to Hubby's Homeland in 2010, so we only opened everything to check nothing was broken or incorrect. It's a good thing we did too, because our burgundy pillow cases arrived looking suspiciously cream...

We also received £220 of vouchers from various family members, which we are hoping to spend on Sunday 16th August when we go to the store in person. We got a number of things we absolutely loved but didn't really need:









I spent Sunday boxing everything back up and tidying the lounge again. In such a small flat, one delivery seems to take over! The rest of my day was spent writing our thank yous; to which Hubby only contributed a signature, and complained at having to do that. Nevertheless, we're almost there. They're all written (except for the Spanish lot, which I have to get Hubby to write), the envelopes are all stamped and addresses - all I need to do now is spray mount the photos to the front of the cards without gluing myself in the process.

I anticipate to have them sent out first class tomorrow. that will be a weight off my mind, because then I'll know the wedding is pretty much done and dusted. THEN it's only our honeymoon to wait for, which by the way is in four weeks today!

Good News!

I have two bits of good news to share today.

I mentioned in May that there may have been an offer for a house in Hubby's Homeland, but that we wouldn't know for certain for a few weeks. Well, weeks turned to months, and we had almost given up on the idea until yesterday. The house is ours whenever we're ready to move over there. The conditions are different to what they were, in that we won't be buying the house, but renting it from my father-in-law. It's only a one badroom apartment though, so we would only need it while our first child is young enough to sleep in with us; and afterwards, we can look for something else.

It's such a weight off my mind. I don't know about you, but I've spent my adult years struggling just to make it through to the next pay day. I see friends buying houses and I wish I could be like them, but the reality is we've never made enough money to be able to put anything into savings, and the money we spend on rent is effectively money down the drain. But even before the recession it was near impossible for us to get a mortgage, even though the payments would be less than our rent.

Anyway, I'm not the only person in this situation, and I'm sure that if you're not in the boat; you know someone who is. But we're now lucky enough to have been offered a get-out clause, and it pretty much changes everything, and it means we can start thinking about the family we want to start so much.

Which leads me onto my next piece of news...

I don't know what the etiquette is on this one, but Hubby and I have agreed to start trying for a baby on our honeymoon. I'm so excited! I've been broody for so long now, and it finally seems that things are working in our favour.

Now that we're married, and now that the house is agreed; it just seems like the right time to be thinking about children. So we've set the start of our Hawaiian honeymoon as the point at which we start trying to conceive.

I know I'm jumping the gun here, but if it happens straight away, we could be parents in June. I'm not naïve, I know it might take a while, and I know we may face problems - My mother had trouble conceiving, and went through lengths just to have my brother; so she's always made it known that I might have trouble too. But they never did tests on me, so I won't know until we start actively trying to conceive. I think that's part of the reason we're not holding out much longer to have children... that and the fact that Hubby wants them before he's 30 (in 2011).

So we have six weeks to go, and I'm going to take this opportunity to get my body into shape for then. I'm going to concentrate on my diet and getting to my goal weight, and then it will just be a case of toning up and eating healthily. I've been taking pre-natal vitamins for about a month already. I just need to start reading up on the science of it all...

Phew - getting married, travelling further than I've ever been before, getting a house and trying for a baby... 2009's turning into a great year for us.

One Week Left

Yep, you heard it here first: I only have one week until I marry Hubby.


I'm excited, I'm stressed, I'm happy, I'm impatient, I'm fidgety, and I'm also feeling kinda sick.

The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind. I've been happy, and I've been sad... and I still have a week left! Right now I'm in the middle of the road, though you might call it "blah". I am excited, don't get me wrong; but I don't have anybody around me to be excited with, so I'm biding my time.

I went sunbathing this afternoon, since today has been the only sunny weekend day in the run-up to the wedding, and I was in serious need of some colour. Well, I certainly got some colour, because now I resemble magenta.


Whoops.

But all is not lost; it has 7 days to go brown/peel or whatever, before I desperately try to scour my skin free of embarrassment. But I'm determined not to stress about it, because I have much bigger fish to fry. And besides, we could always add a lobster theme to the wedding. I'm sure my skin wouldn't clash too much with the red of the roses...

Anyway, this afternoon it occurred to me that Wednesday is but four days away, and my mum ever so kindly offered to come by (on Wednesday after Weight Watchers) with her car and collect some things that we need taking down for the wedding. I'm heading to my dad's on Thursday after I finish work. I'll be taking the train (since I don't drive), so I can only take a little wheely suitcase with me.


I want this by the way, but I don't think they do it in my size :(

Hubby will be following in his car when he finishes work at 11pm, and my mum's following on Friday night with my grandmother, aunt and uncle, who are coming over from Homeland # 2.

To make it even more complicated; my brother and sister-in-law were going to go down on Friday night, but when my bridesmaid called last night to tell me she couldn't collect my flowers, I called him deserately asking if he would get them. So now they're following on Saturday morning with the flowers and one of the photographers, who will be staying in our flat on Friday night. My brother's in the area, so he may as well collect the photographer on the way through, and save him the train fare.

Chaos; I know. This is why I can't think straight at the moment.

Anyway, since I'm off to my dad's for a late Father's Day tomorrow, this is my only day free to do things at home before the wedding, so I figured I should probably get some bags packed and ready to give her. She's already taking my wedding dress in her car, so I'm not sure how many bags I can give her, but I'll definitely try to give her the guest book, confetti and cameras (we're both into our photography, but since we won't be using our collection of cameras - we have about 6 - we thought we'd offload them to our guests for the day, and take them back at the end of the wedding = instant photos, woop woop!).


Luckily my grandmother, aunt and uncle will have a car themselves. Phew...

I'm also trying to get some housework out of the way, since we now have house guests (the photographer) on Friday. Eek! So much to do, and I'm nattering on here...

EDIT - Argh! Hubby just called me to say that our band have suddenly demanded £500 to play at the wedding! We had asked them when we booked them if they wanted paying, and since they're friends of ours, they said payment in beer would be enough. They also get a party, hog roast and buffet thrown in. It's not a bad deal.

Apparently 3 of the 4 band members had a secret meeting. The last guy, the closest friend of them all, tried to argue with them, saying they should stick to the deal, as agreed six months ago. But he was out-voted.

Hubby told them where to go. I'm glad; I don't want anyone like that at our wedding. Except now that means we have to look for a DJ that's free next week. It's just one more thing on my list. You gotta laugh, I suppose.

It's sad for the one guy that did fight our corner, because he's caught in the middle. I desperately want him to come to the wedding still, but I have a bad feeling he won't want to show his face. But the others are dead to me.
Sad, but true. You don't mess with a bride one week away from the wedding.

Our Joint Stag & Hen Night

Last night we celebrated our Blues Brothers themed Joint Stag & Hen Do, and we had such a good time. I literally had to race home from work, jump in the shower and squeeze into my little black dress. I teamed it with a fedora hat, stockings, heels and a red and white garter. Hubby wore a black suit with white shirt and a fedora hat.

Not everyone managed to dress up, but it was good to have everyone there - even my brother and his wife came out, and I've never been out with him before! We started out at a bar in town, and moved to a club at 11pm, staying there until 3am. It's a good thing I booked the day off work today!

It was such a fun night though, and great to see everyone again. Most of the people that came worked with us at the pub that closed down in November, and it's been hard to find time to meet up recently, so it was good to catch up too.

Anyway, I thought I'd post a few photos of our fantastic night:

"Britain's Got Talent" Final

I’ve had a lovely weekend enjoying the sunshine. England is infamous for its poor weather, so when we have days where there are no clouds in the sky, we talk about it, so you’ll have to forgive me! I spent Saturday morning cleaning the house (though admittedly I didn’t get much done because I was watching TV at the same time), and in the afternoon I went to the local park and lay in the sun. It’s about time I got a vague summer glow, because I’m looking rather pasty in my wedding dress!

It was only when I jumped out of the shower on Saturday evening that I saw how sunburnt I really was, AND I’d given myself really sill looking tan lines, which I will now have to find a way to balance out. Whoops.

Saturday night I met up with the girls from college (In the UK, college is voluntary education, between the ages of 16 and 18, but not university level), to celebrate one of their birthdays. I already mentioned the events of this in my previous post, so I won’t bore you with it again.

Sunday was also a beautiful day, and my brother and I headed over to see my mum to celebrate HER birthday (most of the people I know were born in April and May!). We had a BBQ in the garden, and we bought her a gazebo, which she’s been asking for for ages. She’s quite fair skinned, so it now means she can sit in her garden without having to worry about getting burned in the sun. Before that she would sit in her lounge by the door, but not actually go outside; such a shame to have a garden and not be able to enjoy it!

Over the past week, we have been watching the semi finals of Britain's Got Talent, and then the final was on Saturday night. The winning act was tipped to be Susan Boyle, who I'm sure everyone's heard of by now. I'm not sure I really wanted her to win, because I knew she would be offered a record contract by Simon either way. The talented singers in the UK can try out for X Factor, but the dancers, magicians, comedians, animal trainers etc don't really have anything. Which is why I never want a singer to win BGT. Which is why I'm glad a dance group won. These guys are incredible (you can see their previous performances on You Tube). I've posted their winning performance here...

THE WINNERS: "Diversity"



And some other good acts:

Aidan Davis (breakdancer)
Flawless (street dancers)
Shaheen Jafargholi (singer)
Julian Smith (saxophonist)
Susan Boyle (singer)
The Dream Bears (dancers)

Reasons to be Happy

I'm giddy in a good way today. There's just so many good things happening around me!

* The weather is incredible at the moment, and I mean incredible. There hasn't been a cloud in the sky; it's been beautiful. The weather's set to continue until at least Sunday, and they say it's going to be a hot Summer.

* At work today a colleague of mine received an award for all of her hard work in the organisation. It's about time she was recognised, because she goes above and beyond to help people, and on top of all that; she's a good friend of mine.

* Lots of people around me are expecting babies. I'm not sure if it's just because it's Summer and all the bellies are out, but it seems there's loads of them around at the moment.

* I'm getting married five weeks tomorrow! Five weeks!! Now, that's very scary, but so exciting. I have to pinch myself because I quite literally can't believe it. This day has been so long coming, and it's now a matter of weeks. Awesome; in the original sense of the word.

* I've been learning about HTML tags, and found out that:

you can do cool things like this on your blog
* I'm watching "Britain's Got Talent", and it's getting more and more camp. I absolutely love it. These are the Dream Bears:



* Also on BGT, there was a little girl called Hollie Steel, singing "Edelweiss" (which, by the way, is one of my favourite songs in the world, because I'm a sucker for The Sound of Music), who started crying in the middle of her performance. Simon Cowell has assured her they will let her sing again. Pfft, and people say he's mean!

* I paid the final installment of our honeymoon this afternoon. I have a slight sick feeling now, because I only realised today that we booked a "room only" holiday, meaning we have to find more money for food. I'm sure I specified that we wanted all inclusive. Now I just have to admit my mistake to Hubby...

* Before finding this out I bought a really cute denim dress from Oasis (pictured right). I'm ashamed to admit that even though I have absolutely no spare cash this month, and the fact that I was looking for a "little black dress", I found this denim one and I loved it. I don't have many dresses for the Summer, and this was perfect. And what's more; it makes me look really slim! You don't need to know how much it is; because it was too much. I've already cut off the tag and washed it, so Hubby will never know...

* I did also find a "little black dress" (pictured left), which I needed for our joint Stag & Hen party, which is on 8th June. Our theme is "Blues Brothers", and I had the hat, the heels, the stockings and garter, but no dress. Panic over though, because I've found it, and managed to squeeze into a UK size 10 (I'm normally a 12). Unfortunately there's no space for my bra, but the tightness of the material will keep me in check, haha. Me = Cloud Nine.

* I received a letter from my great aunt today, who lives in Homeland # 3. I contacted her a while ago in a bid to find out what she knew of the family. I read her letter when I got back from work today, and she said some really nice things. I was just left feeling like I was flying. There's something about receiving letters from family and friends that can instantly lift your spirits.

* And last of all; it's Friday, which means I don't have to set my alarm tonight :)

The Best Weekend EVER!

Where to start?! I haven't posted in 6 days, so I guess in order to update you; I'm going to need to start at the beginning.

Thursday and Friday were spent in a bit of a blur. I caught an awful cough and cold, and was like the living dead towards the end of the working week. I was sitting at my desk like a zombie, but unable to take time off sick. But my runny nose was more or less gone by Saturday (that's the kind of sickness I like!), leaving only a silly throaty cough behind, which I'm still trying to fight off. I suppose the good thing though is that I now have a husky voice, haha!

But the weekend is the thing I wanted to update you on the most. I've been so busy, but had such a nice time, and we received some incredible news - which I shall keep until the end.

I took the train to my dad’s house on Saturday morning, in time for a second hair consultation with a second stylist. This guy has been recommended to me, and he's been a stylist for over 30 years; so I had more faith in this consultation than I had in the first. He was running late, so he had to see to me in between his other clients, meaning it took over two hours to get the consultation.

He started off by suggesting hot rollers in a bid to get some nice curls going in my hair. My hair is naturally curly, but they’re quite small curls, and not very pronounced. So I was sat under one of those helmet-like blow dryers (and actually my head was being burned to a crisp, leaving me with a burnt forehead for a couple of hours!), only to find that the curls didn’t take. In the end he blew dry it straight and tonged curls into it, pinning it up into what was the spitting image of the example I’d shown him.

He didn’t put any mousse or hairspray in it, but assured me he would put so much in it on the day; it wouldn’t come free. That’s what I like to hear! Unfortunately there was no time to get any photos, as he took the pins out straight away. I also didn’t have time to quibble, because now I was running late myself, and my poor dad had already been waiting for me for two hours. Anyway, I’m confident he can do it, and have booked him to do my hair on the wedding day.

On Saturday afternoon, I went into town with my dad to run an errand, and ended up spending four hours wandering around with him, which was really nice. We stopped for coffee, and he showed me a few hidden gems where we might be able to have wedding photos done. I loved being able to spend time with my dad; as it’s rarely possible these days. I actually remembered how alike we are, so it was really nice.

On Sunday I spent the day with him, my stepmum and little brother, and went back home that evening. The weather over the weekend was incredible; not a single cloud in the sky and sooo warm. The only negative was that when I’d packed my bag to go to my dad’s, I hadn’t packed any skirts/shorts, so I was going around in black trousers for two days: ouch!

When I got back on Sunday night, Hubby had the night off. He greeted me with huge enthusiasm to have a picnic the following day (a national holiday, during which he had also managed to get a day off). So we spent the evening talking about where we could go, what we could take, etc.

On Monday morning I woke to see that it was dreary and wet outside. Hmmm. Unfortunately one thing about living in England is that you can NEVER plan ahead on the weather. So we went for breakfast at a "greasy spoon" (if ever you visit England, you have to visit one).


Hubby and I seem to go for breakfast here whenever we have a day off together. Before you question this, we've only had about 3 days off together in the past year, so it's not often enough to increase anyone's cholesterol!

Then went into town and went to the cinema. We saw “Night at the Museum 2” and I thought it was even funnier than the first. However when we got back to the car, we found we’d been lumbered with a parking ticket! £25 lighter, and somewhat deflated; we headed home.

Nearly done, I promise…

When we got home, we received a call from Hubby’s mother in Hubby’s Homeland. Hubby’s step-grandmother (you following?) has been offered the chance to buy her flat from the government for an incredible £35,000 (about US$55,000). However, she doesn’t want it, so Hubby’s stepdad has offered to buy it initially, and sign the mortgage over to us afterwards (since we’re not blood related, we can’t buy it straight out ourselves).


Which means, if all goes to plan (i.e. if nobody blood-related wants the flat) we have a house ready for when we move over!!! The mortgage would be so low (about £180/US$280 per month), we could even afford to pay our current renting costs in the UK as well as the mortgage on the flat in Hubby’s Homeland.

The reason we can't go immediately is because we're already signed up to a leasing agreement, the wedding, the honeymoon, our jobs and my annual leave year, which finishes in January. If I leave before January, I have to pay money back to them to make up for the leave I'm taking for the honeymoon = not worth leaving until 2010. I also wanted to give my family a heads up and not leave straight away.

The flat is on the ground floor, and has only one bedroom, but it will be fine for the first couple of years at least. Even when we have a baby, it will be okay for the first year or so while the baby can sleep in our room, and then we can look into getting another place.

Eek, how exciting! It’s beyond belief. This stuff just doesn’t happen to us! We normally have such bad luck with everything house-related (being chucked out of numerous houses - not our fault I hasten to add, and having flatmates who stab us in the back); but here we are being offered such a good deal. It’s our key to having a family, and it seems to be coming together. I’m sooo happy :)

And one part of final news; I have my first dress fitting this afternoon. To save the dress from sitting in the car crumpled for seven hours, I’ve had to bring it to work with me today! Something I never thought I’d have to do, but I managed to sneak it through without many people seeing it, into a very rarely used little storage room.

Cue the music from "Mission: Impossible"...

My Mad Family

And you may remember that I went to Homeland # 2 earlier this month. My uncle emailed everyone a couple of photos, and I thought I'd share this one. You can see the full extent of the craziness by clicking on the image for a larger version.

You might be sorry you did though...

The Best Lemon Cake in the World

So, I'm off to Homeland #2 today (which is why I'm blogging early) for a family get-together. My grandmother's family in Homeland #3 have a get-together on the first Sunday of August. It's such a success, my grandmother's cousins' great grandchildren even go. There's so many of them!

So our family (my grandmother, aunts, cousins etc) decided we would start one of our own in Homeland #2. We thought it would be a good idea, because the cousins are all now leading their own lives, and we're scattered across Europe. If we know we are scheduled to meet on the first Sunday of May, then we know to arrange leave from work, and travel etc. Whoever can come, comes. There's no pressure, and no bad feelings for not turning up. It's harder for us, because it's more than simply jumping in a car; but we have the English Channel to cross; but we're going nonetheless. So 2009 is the first year, and everyone's really excited.

We agreed that my grandmother (now 85, but likes to fuss) shouldn't be allowed to worry about anything, so my cousin's offered to have the event at her house for this year, and we've all agreed to bring a little something with us. Since I'm notoriously awful at cooking, and we will be on the road for 7 hours without a fridge, the only thing I thought to make was this amazing cake.

I've made it twice before; for my 24th birthday. It's the only cake I've ever made, but it's so easy and so scrummy; I couldn't care less if I never tried another cake in all my life. You couldn't get a more lemony recipe than this: layers of lemon-flavoured sponge, filled with home-made lemon curd and then a lemon icing for the finishing touch. It's wonderful. So I'm sharing Delia Smith's recipe with you all:

ICED LEMON CURD LAYER CAKE

INGREDIENTS:

* Grated zest of 1 lemon
* 1tbsp lemon juice
* 175g (6oz) self-raising flour, sifted
* 1 level teaspoon baking powder
* 175g (6oz) butter @ room temperature
* 175g (6oz) caster sugar
* 3 large eggs
* 3/4 jar lemon curd

Pre-heat the oven to gas mark 3 (170°c).

Prepare two 7 inch (18 cm) sandwich tins, 1½ inches (4 cm) deep, by greasing them, lining the bases with silicone paper (baking parchment) and greasing the paper too.

Measure all the cake ingredients into a mixing bowl and whisk until you have a smooth, creamy consistency. Then divide the mixture evenly between the two tins and bake them on the centre shelf of the oven for about 35 minutes or until the centres feel springy when lightly touched with a little finger.

When the cakes are cooked, remove them from the oven and after about 30 seconds turn them out on to a wire rack. When they are completely cold, carefully cut each one horizontally into two using a sharp serrated knife. Now spread the curd thickly to sandwich the sponges together.

Then to make the icing, begin by removing the zest from the lemon – it's best to use a zester to get long, curly strips. Then sift the icing sugar into a bowl and gradually stir in the lemon juice until you have a soft, runny consistency. Allow the icing to stand for 5 minutes before spreading it on top of the cake with a knife, almost to the edges, and don't worry if it runs a little down the sides of the cake. Then scatter the lemon zest over the top and leave it for half an hour for the icing to firm up before serving.

YUM!

Source: Delia Smith Online

Nobody Ever Warned Me About...

It occurred to me today that adulthood is never how you expect it to be. When you're a kid, you ache to be older, but when you are older, it seems childhood was so much easier. I never hated school, but I grew sick of writing essays about things that didn't interest me. I love being an adult... most of the time. But this morning I had to sign over 75% of my paycheque to rent, council tax, gas, electricity and water; and I found myself wishing I was back in school, being herded around by the teachers. It just seemed easier back then. So today, my post is going to be focused on "nobody ever warned me about..."

Nobody ever warned me about:

* Chocolate's tendency to camp out on my hips
* Credit cards, and the mess you can cause getting into debt (and the mess I'm still in)
* Relationships, and how they can hurt
* Friends betraying you
* Politics
* Stress in general
* Reaching a certain age and having to act responsibly (I must not have reached the magic number yet!)
* Having to spend four years working two jobs just to pay the rent

Then again, nobody ever told me about:

* How wonderfully amazing junk food can be when you reward yourself for being good
* How great shopping sprees feel (haha)
* How incredible it can feel to be in love with someone, and have them love you back
* How one good friendship can make up for all the false friendships in your life, and how that friend can help you through anything - if you let them
* How chuffed you can feel when you can get involved in a political conversation, and actually understand what they're saying
* How a massage can help relieve all your problems; if only for five minutes
* How good it can feel to cut loose and go crazy once in a while
* How you can meet the most amazing people through work, that they can be like a second family to you, and you can have such a blast that working 70 hours a week just doesn't even matter. You're tired, but you're having the time of your life

There's a positive and a negative to each point; and I've realised that finding the positive can make you feel so much better. I'm still working on trying to find a positive for my lack of money this month though, but hey; perhaps it will encourage me to diet, since I won't be able to afford food! Well; it's not that bad yet...

The Hippo and the Tortoise

Last night I went to Weight Watchers - the first time in two weeks. When I go on holiday, I forget about my diet and I eat what I want to eat (within reason). When I was in Hubby's Homeland, I got a little carried away with the lovely foods, and of course having a Burger King in such close proximity; and let’s just say, I ate too much.

So all through work yesterday I was dreading stepping on the scales, and I actually had butterflies in my stomach when I was about to go on them; but I was pleasantly surprised. I’d lost half a pound. Unfortunately I don’t think it’s going to stay that way; I suspect my body is going to go stealth on me and pile on the pounds for next week instead. But for now, I’m basking in my success!

I wanted to share something with you all though, because I thought it was heart-warming. And we all need a little pick-me-up every now and again, so here’s what greeted me in my inbox this morning:

“Much of life can never be explained but only witnessed”

A young hippopotamus, nicknamed Owen and weighing 650lbs, was swept down Sabaki River into the Indian Ocean, then forced back to shore when tsunami waves struck the Kenyan coast on 26th December 2004, before wildlife rangers rescued him.

Owen has since formed a strong bond with a male giant tortoise. The tortoise, thought to be 100 years old, has adopted this young hippo, and seems to be very happy acting as a surrogate father.

'After Owen was swept away and lost his mother, he was traumatised. Fortunately, he and the tortoise have established a strong bond. They swim, eat and sleep together,' Mr Kahumbu, a local ecologist said. 'The hippo follows the tortoise exactly the way it would follow its mother. If somebody approaches the tortoise, the hippo becomes aggressive, as if protecting its biological mother.'

'The hippo is a young baby, he was left at a very tender age and by nature, hippos are social animals that like to stay with their mothers for four years,' he explained.

This story shows that our differences don't matter much when we need the comfort of another. We could all learn a lesson from these two creatures. Look beyond the differences and find a way to walk the path together.

If you would like to see this story in a short video, click here.

Hooray for Hubby!

I'm continuously surprised how fast a weekend can pass; and this weekend was one of those that you just don't seem to feel you've had. I'm back at work on this rainy Monday afternoon and wishing I was tucked up in bed watching reruns of "Friends".

Hubby has found himself a Sous Chef, so much to our relief, he will begin to have days off again in the next month or so. He's really worn out at the moment, so I'm glad he'll finally be able to relax a little, and have some time to himself.

We celebrated with a glass of Pimms (which, if you haven't tried yet; I strongly recommend). Anyway, it's been about 10 months since I made my last Pimms, and I accidentally made it too strong, meaning Hubby went off it completely. I'm hardly one to waste a good drink, so I revelled in being able to drink both, ha ha!

I emailed my stepmum yesterday, giving her the details of our wedding guest list. She's very intricate in the organisation, because we're having the reception at their house, so she wants to be able to sort everything out. She's asked to know final numbers, as well as approximate ages of everyone so that we can plan entertainment etc. It's all go, it seems. I've got to discuss flowers with my colleague, who has offered to help us, and I've got to go for a hair trail on 9th May.

This weekend I'm taking advantage of the bank holiday (Saturday-Monday) and going to Homeland #2. To aid you here; and for the sake of protecting identities:

* Homeland #1 is where I was born and raised (1/2 my heritage)
* Homeland #2 is where my mother was raised (1/4 of my heritage)
* Homeland #3 is where my grandmother grew up (1/4 of my heritage)

It's safe to say I'm a bit of a mongrel, but I'm proud of it. I have family in each country, so they will be mentioned a fair few times, which is why I thought I'd explain them now. We're going to meet up with family, and it will be my last trip abroad before the wedding; so when I get back I will need to surrender my current passport while I apply for a new one in my married name (very exciting!). However, it also means that I can't go to Hubby's Homeland until after the wedding, so if Hubby's grandfather doesn't make it, I won't be able to attend the funeral. It's funny how they penalise you for getting married...

Anyway; here's to another week. It's set to be a busy one, which is good, but it means there's less time to daydream!

My Cousin Gets Hitched!

I went to my cousin's wedding yesterday, and it was great. I had such a good day. I've been pretty stressed out for the past couple of weeks, so it was really nice to be able to forget everything for a day and just enjoy myself. Hubby wasn't able to come along, so as always I look as if I'm a lone spinster amongst lots of happy couples. But people are used to it now; Hubby works; he doesn't play. I think my extended family have met him a grand total of three times in the 8 years we've been together, and only my grandmother and 2 aunts have met him from my family on the continent.

Anyway; back to the wedding. Here's a shapshot of the happy couple; my cousin and his new wife:
The wedding was in Kent, which is about 2 hours drive for us. It was a long day, but we were never bored. They said their vows in the grounds of a gorgeous country estate, and although it was a little cold, it was really nice. The ceremony was followed by a four course wedding breakfast in the main building, before retiring to the pavilion for the evening reception.

They'd hired a singer/guitarist for the early evening, and then a DJ for the disco afterwards. But something I particularly liked was that they also had a "Chill Out Room", where you could get away from the music if you don't fancy dancing all night. I don't know about you, but I don't do dancing. Not because I don't like it; because I love dancing. I just can't dance in front of people... unless I'm really drunk; but getting really drunk isn't something I'm prepared to do at a family wedding!

The cutting of the cake, the evening buffet (which I was too stuffed to eat), the chocolate fountain (which I found space for), and even the Pick & Mix was all in the Chill Out Room, so I was pretty happy for the evening!

Hubby, being a chef, and being obsessed with food hygiene, has banned me from having a chocolate fountain at our wedding. I wasn't really bothered, as I've never really been part of the craze. But this chocolate fountain may have changed my mind forever. Now, I know that they add oil to help the chocolate flow, and I know that the constant tepidity of the chocolate encourages bacteria growth, but it's still chocolate! This fountain setup was incredible. I always assumed they only used strawberries and marshmallows, but no! They also had melon, banana, profiteroles, Belgian waffle, fudge, and so much more. And being on Weight Watchers, I had the strawberries. If only! I actually made a point of avoiding the strawberries, and instead had the waffle, marshmallow and profiteroles. When I come off the diet, I do it properly!

The only downer to the wedding was that I fell head over heels (literally) down a flight of stairs! I've since been asked whether I was drunk or wearing high heels, but unfortunately I can't use either of those excuses; I had been drinking water, and I was wearing flats! I'm now avoiding all the bruises on my elbow, leg, knee, back, hip, and head! They had to be the stairs with the metal edges. Luckily it was only my brother that saw, so I was able to regain my pride by the time I got back to my family.

I'm not sure how you feel about weddings; I know some people hate them, or think they're tedious and a bore. My little brother, who's just turned 14, thinks that; and I used to think like that too. But when I was growing up, we didn't get invited to many weddings, and if we did, we would only be invited to the reception, so there was none of this sitting through ceremonies to worry about. I don't think my parents' divorce helped either, because from then on, I thought marriage was a waste of time. I probably wouldn't have been a good person to have around at a wedding ceremony!

But now I'm older, and probably because I'm in a relationship myself, I absolutely love going to weddings. It's such a cliche, but I love watching a couple get married, because you see how much they love each other, and you're lucky enough to be able to witness that moment that they're joined in marriage - a lifelong commitment; and they chose you to be there with them.

On top of all that, I'm planning my own wedding at the moment; a wedding which I never envisaged happening because of my view of marriage when I was growing up; and my friends are also starting to get married, so I'm being invited to a few, and I get to see their different interpretations of their "Big Day".

I knew from the start that my cousin's wedding would be much grander than ours; because both my aunt, and my cousin (the groom's sister) are organisers for wedding shows, so they have great contacts, and most probably great discounts to go with them. Because of this, there was actually a lot of discussion leading up to this wedding, as we tried to guess what would be in store for us, but at the end of it; it was nothing short of brilliant. It was grand, yet stylish. Nothing was overdone, nothing was showy. It was very tasteful; a wedding to be proud of.

People asked why I haven't asked them for similar discounts, but I'd started planning our wedding before realising that they were involved in this business, and we already had our ideas sketched out. Our wedding will be very different, and I think it will be interesting to have such different weddings in the period of ten weeks.

Are you getting excited? - I must have been asked that question about ten times yesterday. Of course I'm excited; I can't wait to marry Hubby, and start the rest of our lives together. I think about standing opposite him and looking into his eyes as I say my vows, realising that I have everything I want in him. But of course there are stresses too, and sometimes (or quite often at the moment), I find it hard to see through the chaos and remember why we're doing this. But I do remember, and I'm really looking forward to when it's our turn; in 69 days!