Wintery Week

As I logged into my Blogger account this afternoon I thought, “I’ll check in and see what’s going on, but I don’t think I have anything interesting to post about”. But as I was reading my favourite blogs, it suddenly occurred to me that I’ve had one crazy busy week. How did I forget that?

So I’ll take you through, starting from Monday (you’ll have to bear with me here)…

MONDAY 14th DECEMBER: The baby decided to play games with me and reverted back to flutters on Sunday and Monday. I may have been disappointed, but I have only had one flutter through the entire pregnancy, so being able to experience them throughout an entire day was great. However, this baby doesn’t seem to “flutter” like most babies. I got none of those feelings of butterflies or a feather on the inside of my belly, but just crazy vibrations instead. Like someone’s setting off a Bumble Ball in my belly…


It was interesting trying to find a picture of that on Google (using the phrase “vibrating ball toy”), I can tell you!

TUESDAY 15th DECEMBER: Tuesday was a great day, if you ignore the obstacles… Getting ready for work was pretty average, but as I got to work, Hubby texted me to tell me our boiler was stone cold. Here in the UK we’re in the middle of a cold snap, and it seems the house was already losing heat. I got on the phone to our letting agent and asked them to arrange a gas man to visit.

He explained to me that everyone was on a training course, and there was nobody around to help. He didn’t even offer to call the gas man himself. I called back in the afternoon, but nobody was answering.

But back to the good stuff… We had our work Christmas meal. As ever, we weren’t very productive in the morning, and headed out at 1pm to the restaurant across the street (the perks of working in the city centre). I treated myself to a glass of Champagne, and savoured the red pepper soup, squash and mushroom risotto and apple tart, before opening our Secret Santa presents.

It seems my powers of telepathy worked, since I got a massive bar of Toblerone (possibly the naughtiest chocolate in the world). Since we’re moving abroad, we’ve cancelled gifting this year amongst family. Anything we’re given we would have to find additional space for in the van, or end up parting with it within a matter of months. I was in two minds about my Secret Santa present, but I’m thrilled someone spotted my chocolate craving, because I have no doubt it will be gone by Christmas!

Granted, it wasn’t that big, since our budget was £5 ($8), but you get the idea. Besides, I don’t think you’d come out looking as slim as her after you’d polished off that bar!

When the meal was over we headed to the pub. Unfortunately the turnout wasn’t great, but it was a good laugh. Being pregnant, I was the sober one in the group, but my colleague made the most of it by getting completely sloshed and asking if I could walk her home at the end of the night. We only live about 200 metres apart, so it wasn’t a big deal. In fact it was actually quite funny as I directed her down the street, having to stop occasionally to let her write obscenities on people’s windscreens.


I’m not going to tell you what she wrote, but she was pretty embarrassed the next morning!

After I got home, I put my feet up (this is becoming a regular pattern, which is why I have stopped inviting people round to see our scummy home). Our house was now barely 14C (57F), and nothing had been done to fix our boiler. I covered myself in all the winter wear I could find that fit me, and covered each leg with a hot water bottle, since I’m not allowed to put them on my belly because of the risk of cooking the baby.

It was about 11pm when I felt the baby kicking again. I sat back, pressed my hand to my belly, and the baby kicked back on it! I never expected to feel it against my hand so soon after feeling the first kicks, and now I was suitably impressed by my little one’s abilities to throw two milestones into a period of four days. I was now aching for Hubby to get home and hoping the baby would put on a show for him too, but I felt nothing more for the rest of the night… or for the following day in fact.

WEDNESDAY 16th DECEMBER: We spent the night sleeping in 10C (50F), and I took it upon myself to go and kick some ass in person at the letting agent’s office. Turning up at 9am I have them a piece of my mind, flashing my puffed-out belly (because you have to exaggerate these things, don’t you) and showing them that I was “six months pregnant”. They offered no form of apology, and said I was 4th in line to have an engineer sent out. Apparently you don’t get any special treatment for being pregnant.

I spent all day hounding them on the phone, and eventually told them I’d booked my own engineer and would be charging them. Within the hour they called me back to say they were sending a rep to the house to “assess the problem”. When he turned up, Hubby realised he was simply one of the guys from the office, who proceeded to tap the boiler a few times and conclude “yeah, it’s not working, is it.”

Genius.

He then laughed and said off-hand to Hubby, “so your wife’s pregnant, is she?” I love Hubby for what he did then; he just gestured to our scan photos, which are tacked onto the fridge and simply replied, “yeah, she is actually.”

Serves him right for not believing me.

Miraculously, an engineer was with us within four hours, and our home was toasty once more. Good thing really, because I don’t think I could have managed another night in the cold.

FRIDAY 18th DECEMBER: I woke up this morning to a fine blanket of snow. How’s that for getting in the festive spirit. They say it could last until Christmas, and it would be our first white Christmas since the 1970s. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for more snow tonight, because Hubby and I both have a day off tomorrow, which means we can go outside and make snow angels!

Family Matters

I find myself wondering what things will be like when Hubby and I move in February. I know many good things will come from it, but I also fear bad things will come.

Our family, like many others, has its problems. They may not be as big as others, but they affect the dynamics and happiness of those I love. Often, I feel like my only role within the family is the negotiator. People turn to me to help sort out misunderstandings.

Am I happy about that? Not really, but you get what you're given.

My mother has fought for almost thirty years to ensure a good life for her children, but my brother doesn't always act the way most sons do. There is a reason for this, which I won't go into, but let's just say; they are both right - to a point.

I'm not saying he's a bad person; on the contrary. He's a kind, genuine and loving person, but sometimes he doesn't stop to listen, or try to understand what people are telling him. Sometimes my mother can't explain herself properly, and therefore can't get her point across. Sometimes she is confused for overreacting when in fact I think she's just misunderstood.

In short, their characters clash. They always have done, and I believe they always will. It's caused many problems over the last 20 years, and I often wonder if either of them are learning anything from this.

I'm happy to help, but sometimes I dread answering the phone, because I know it's going to create stress that I don't need. At the same time, this is my family, and I love them unconditionally, so of course I'm going to do everything in my power to help them. I just wish they could work out how to deal with each other.

Hubby is the only person who knows how this effects me, because I can't talk to them about it. Without me, I wonder if things would ever sort themselves out. And if I move away, I can't be here to help them. I worry what will happen in the future, even though I shouldn't have to worry. I worry that when I go, they won't be able to find a middle ground, and there will be nobody to help them find it. They will argue, and I see them drifting apart. I won't be able to see them as much as I'd like, but they will be able to see one another, but may choose not to.

To me, family is the most important thing in this world. Your parents, siblings, partners and children are to be treasured. They may not be perfect, but they are a part of you, and you should accept them for who they are, and work with it. You shouldn't try to change them - they are who they are because of their imperfections.

I can't do much from 2000 miles away, and I feel guilty for moving, but this is my time, and I need to give my child the best upbringing I can possibly give.

Sometimes I just wish I could live my life without worrying what will happen to those I love.

Random Thoughts

* I'm beginning to think getting pregnant before emigrating was a bad idea. If we move abroad in mid-February as we intend to, we only have 11 weeks, or 77 days left to tie up all of our loose ends. That may sound a lot, but there's Christmas in the middle, and we're taking a trip to Hubby's Homeland in January, so in reality we have far less time to sort everything out. I was actually lying awake last night wondering how it's all going to slot together in time; we just have so much to do!

* I can't wait until we go for our 21 week scan. 21 days and counting...

* We've seen a buggy we want already. Scary, huh? Well, not totally scary, because my mother-in-law popped into a couple of shops in Hubby's Homeland to ask how quickly items would arrive into stock after ordering them, and the result is 12-16 weeks.

It means that even if we shop for things when we go over in January, it still might not be there when the baby is born in May! Because of this, we're looking into buying at least the buggy in the UK and taking it over with us. This is the one we've found, and we think it's a bargain at £199:

I know it's blue, and we won't know whether we're having a boy or a girl... but since when have I been traditional? And I'm bored of shopping for gender neutral colours.

* And finally, I paid a whopping £900 ($1,400) onto my credit cards today. I know, what was I thinking? I can't really afford to part with that kind of money, but I found a crazy balance of £1000 on a card I thought I'd cleared, so the debts I need to clear before we move have doubled. I would cut up the cards, but with a baby on the way I'm sensing it could be wise to keep hold of them...

Call me the Tantrum Fairy

Day three, and I'm an emotional wreck. Hubby would argue, but I don't normally consider myself prone to PMT; however today I can't seem to stop!

I found out this morning that my dad isn't going out of town after all, and that we could have told him about the pregnancy this weekend. However it then means that my mother, older brother and sister-in-law won't know until after the honeymoon, because last night was the last night I would see them before we fly.

I know it's not a big thing, but it now means I have to keep quiet for three more painful weeks because of disorganisation. I'm finding it so hard to keep quiet as it is. But I know I won't mind so much on Saturday; when I get to spend 3 full weeks talking to Hubby about the pregnancy, and bore him silly. At the moment I only see him for an hour each day, and I don't want to overwhelm him with baby talk, so I'm pretty limited and only able to talk to people online about it.

So that would explain my blog rant ;)

Seriously though, I'm having a wonderful week, despite feeling constantly drained and emotional. It's all part of the experience, and I'm just glad to be going through it, because it only ever felt like a distant dream.

I went to my Weight Watchers weigh-in last night to discover that I'd lost another pound, despite eating cakes and scones this week. I have come to the conclusion that my body only ever loses weight when I feed it junk food. It's a weird but rather exciting realisation; though I don't think it will do me much good when I have a baby relying on me to provide the essential nutrients...

I told my Weight Watchers leader that I was pregnant, and that I wanted to continue going to the meetings (but not weighing), because I want to ensure that my mum still goes and gets to her goal weight), and she said it was fine, and that she too was pregnant! She hasn't said a word to anyone yet, so it's like we're sharing a secret with one another.

Anyway, that's my last weigh-in with Weight Watchers for now, and it feels good. I didn't get to my goal weight, but I got down to 139.5lbs; under 10 stone! I'm thrilled to be 9-stone-something for the honeymoon; the lightest I've been in 4 years!

Lastly, I wanted to say a huge thank you to those that have sent me their warming congratulatory messages. They mean so much to me at the moment, and I just wanted you to know that.

I've had a busy couple of days, gluing and sending out our thank you cards, picking up our honeymoon tickets and ironing on fabulously blinging "Mrs X" transfers onto my honeymoon clothes:


Don't be alarmed, I've only got the one, and I've only ironed it onto one black T-Shirt, which I plan to wear on the plane.

I am getting more excited by the day, and I can hardly contain myself. And we still have over two weeks to wait! I'm slowly starting to pull a few things together that I know I will need to pack; like travel detergent, shorts, dresses, sun cream, books... I'm only packing these things because the Great British summer has, once again, been a total washout this year, and I doubt I'll be needing many of my summer clothes before we leave.

But there's always hope, and I would love to be able to top up my tan before we leave - there's nothing worse than being pasty on the first day of your holiday; trying to disguise your milk bottle legs. I'm not as pale as they come; I generally classify myself as having a European colour - perhaps like those in the south of France - opposed to pale colour of my fellow English roses. Having said that; I'm well versed in holidaying with Hubby's family, who are lucky enough to live on the Med and soak up the summer sunshine from April through to October.

I'm also breaking in my white flip flops; the first of 2009, and I stepped in bubble gum already. Sad but true!

And on a final, rather sour note, my laptop has decided to re-acquire the virus it had on 11th July, and therefore is out of action again until Hubby can work out how to get rid of it. Pfft. I'm seriously unimpressed, because all of our wedding photos are on it, and I hadn't managed to get around to burning them yet! Nevertheless, I knew the signs this time, and as soon as it started happening again, I came offline and started a series of gruelling virus scans, which have continued through to this morning when I had to leave for work.

I just hope it's sorted before Saturday, because I'm not spending my birthday without an internet connection...

It's Confession Time

There's a couple of things I need to say before I go any further. I caved... twice.

My new best friend is Pepsi Raw. I love her slender figure, her bubbly nature, her sweet kick, and her ability to keep me up all night. Pepsi Raw is not only tasty, it's got caffeine, and it's packed full of sugar - you can't very well have a natural drink, and expect them to have it in a diet form.

This doesn't bode well for either my diet, or my intention to kick the caffeine. Ugh, never mind. I'm drinking the final bottle of my 4-pack, and it's back to caffeine free Diet Coke tomorrow. It was good while it lasted.

But my second confession is a little more embarrassing. I got carried away when I promised myself I wouldn't do. I bought my second pregnancy book; before I'm even pregnant.


In fairness, I think you should know that I bought my first one when I was 2 weeks late a few months ago. I bought it because I had a feeling I was pregnant, so figured I would act pregnant until I found out otherwise. But in order to act pregnant, I had to research what that meant.

But this book is amazing. I love it already. It goes through your pregnancy from day 1 right through to after the delivery. It details what is happening in your body each day of your pregnancy, with full colour pictures and the odd fact thrown in.


And my reason for buying it? Well, I figured that you only find out you're pregnant when you're four weeks gone, and by that point I will have missed out on the first month. So I thought I would buy the book and get all spiffed up on the first month. That way, when the day comes and I do find out I'm pregnant; I know where I'm at and what's been going on in my body.

Work has flown by this week, but I'm still glad it's Friday. I love Friday even more than I love Pepsi Raw. I had a pretty crappy day yesterday, when I seriously reconsidered whether I should stay at my current job, or just walk out there and then. It was rough.

Of course I didn't walk out; I have rent to pay, and we have no savings to live on, so the reality is that we couldn't last a month without two incomes. That's the reason I've stuck with my job throughout this recession. It's safe, and I'm not about to be made redundant. So when I have trouble at work, I'm annoyed to say the least, because it's not like I can leave for something better.

I apologise in advance if you're reading this and you are unemployed. Of course I value my job; I would be stupid not to. I have a good contract and aside from the lousy pay, I have a good deal. It's better than nothing, but I'm a firm believer of people just getting on with one another wherever possible.

Nevertheless, I didn't walk out. I didn't even rise to the bait. I was civil, and I did my work; leaving at the end of the day; knowing that I had been the bigger person.

Of course, being the bigger person doesn't mean that it's any less tense on Friday morning. Roll on 5pm, because you won't see me for dust!

Scales Are Not My Friend

I don't even have words for how disappointed I am in myself. I went to my weigh-in this evening to find out that after my dedication and hard work, I'd put on half a pound. What is going on?? It's so disheartening.


My only consolation is that next week my good behaviour will catch up with me, and I will have lost a couple of pounds. This is my fourth week of floating around the 144lb mark, and it's really getting to me. Even when I cut out all the nice food, I'm still static in my weight. Pfft.

But you know what? I'm going to flip this into a positive, because I can't sit around being disappointed in myself. Or at least, if I am disappointed in myself, I'm going to use that and make it work for me.

I'm going to work even harder this week, and I'm going to achieve something next week; even if it hurts me. Although I don't have any more diet tricks up my sleeve, so I'm hoping whatever's wrong with my body works itself out sharpish.

And I just realised that if I still want to get to my honeymoon goal, I now have to lose a frightening 3lbs each week, without fail. I think it's safe to say that my goal of being 133lbs is out of reach, so I've now decided that I'm going to focus only on getting into those surf shorts. Even if I weigh 144lbs on my honeymoon, I'm going to get into those shorts.

Don't ask me how, because I may need a miracle!

Virus Warning - I was sucked in, please don't let it happen to you

I thought I would post a warning about a virus, after my own laptop was infected last weekend. I pride myself on not being gullible to cons and scams, but this one had me fooled.

The virus is called PC Security 2009, and it embeds itself onto your computer without you realising. You soon find a little red cross icon on the bottom right corner of your screen. From this icon a message pops up warning you that your computer is infected, and that you should upgrade your antivirus in order to ensure these infections don’t become a threat to your computer.

This is a screen shot of what the virus looks like:


Unfortunately I couldn't find a screen shot of the warning messages, but it's similar to the pop up speech box that tells you when your wireless is not connected.

The infections the virus is warning you about are not real; this is simply the virus posting these messages. The messages soon come every couple of minutes, and make it very hard to use your computer without getting annoyed by them.

The virus also limits your online browsing. You can still view websites, but when you go to a new page, you may find a warning message urging you to upgrade your antivirus. It will give you two options; either upgrade to protect your computer, or continue browsing without upgrading. If you click to continue without upgrading, nothing happens. The web page you want will not load. The only way you can continue is to click to upgrade.

Once you do this, you will be taken to the PC Security 2009 website, where you can enter your credit card details in order to download a copy of the antivirus that will supposedly help you rid your computer of the apparent infections. Do NOT enter your credit cad details. I made the mistake of doing so, and I received no confirmation, no receipt; and I’d given them my mobile phone number too.

So, thinking it a little suspicious, I Googled the name of the site, and I found a list of sites warning against this virus, and detailing how to remove it from your system. Click the link to see the results of my Google Search (I promise it's safe to follow this link)

Seeing this, I then had to call my bank and put a stop on my credit card. Soon after this, a “system scan” began scanning the files on my computer, and it found over 700 imaginary infections. I say imaginary, because the infections aren’t really there; this is the virus making you think they’re there.

Within the hour I received a phone call from the hoax company, requesting more information, which this time I did not give. It took a good 6 hours to rid my computer of this virus, because it embeds itself in lots of different places, with lots of different files; so it’s hard to track down. I ended up downloading “AVG Free” to my computer, which managed to sort everything out.

Since Saturday I've been inundated with emails from the scammers, asking me to activate my membership. They also managed to debit my credit card of £55, which the bank is refusing to reimburse me, and I've received another couple of phone calls.

My poor judgement cost me £80, and my entire Saturday. I’m normally pretty smart with things like this, but this particular virus is designed to look exactly like Microsoft, so you think it’s authentic. Don’t be fooled by the same virus. If you find you have a virus on your computer, do not browse any sites with your, or any other person's personal details on (i.e. internet banking, emails or social networking sites).

Please forward this information to anyone who you think would benefit from this.

You STILL Don't Know?!

10 weeks, AKA:
70 days
1680 hours
100,800 minutes
6,048,000 seconds
However you look at it, ten weeks is a long time to be chasing up late RSVPs. In all fairness, in the UK we send out wedding invitations at least 24 weeks ahead of the wedding, requesting replies by 12 weeks ahead, but that doesn't mean we don't need to know who's coming and who isn't.

This isn't me...yet.

I'm not trying to be all Bridezilla, but I personally think 12 weeks is more than enough time to decide whether you're going to be attending a wedding. I don't know, is that irrational?

Now we're less than 2 weeks from the wedding, and I'm still having to chase people. I have people hassling me for the information, and I can't seem to get a straight answer off anyone. I don't understand how they can think this is okay. I've asked them countless times for their reply, and I've got nothing back.

But the last request went out this afternoon, and if they don't respond, then I'm deciding for them. Half of them claim they still don't know what they'll be doing on the day of the wedding. It's not rocket science; you can either come, or you can't. Just please let me know, because it's driving me crazy.

It's very hard to get excited about a wedding when stuff like this is going through your mind. There is more, but I'm saving that for another day ;)