Family Matters

I find myself wondering what things will be like when Hubby and I move in February. I know many good things will come from it, but I also fear bad things will come.

Our family, like many others, has its problems. They may not be as big as others, but they affect the dynamics and happiness of those I love. Often, I feel like my only role within the family is the negotiator. People turn to me to help sort out misunderstandings.

Am I happy about that? Not really, but you get what you're given.

My mother has fought for almost thirty years to ensure a good life for her children, but my brother doesn't always act the way most sons do. There is a reason for this, which I won't go into, but let's just say; they are both right - to a point.

I'm not saying he's a bad person; on the contrary. He's a kind, genuine and loving person, but sometimes he doesn't stop to listen, or try to understand what people are telling him. Sometimes my mother can't explain herself properly, and therefore can't get her point across. Sometimes she is confused for overreacting when in fact I think she's just misunderstood.

In short, their characters clash. They always have done, and I believe they always will. It's caused many problems over the last 20 years, and I often wonder if either of them are learning anything from this.

I'm happy to help, but sometimes I dread answering the phone, because I know it's going to create stress that I don't need. At the same time, this is my family, and I love them unconditionally, so of course I'm going to do everything in my power to help them. I just wish they could work out how to deal with each other.

Hubby is the only person who knows how this effects me, because I can't talk to them about it. Without me, I wonder if things would ever sort themselves out. And if I move away, I can't be here to help them. I worry what will happen in the future, even though I shouldn't have to worry. I worry that when I go, they won't be able to find a middle ground, and there will be nobody to help them find it. They will argue, and I see them drifting apart. I won't be able to see them as much as I'd like, but they will be able to see one another, but may choose not to.

To me, family is the most important thing in this world. Your parents, siblings, partners and children are to be treasured. They may not be perfect, but they are a part of you, and you should accept them for who they are, and work with it. You shouldn't try to change them - they are who they are because of their imperfections.

I can't do much from 2000 miles away, and I feel guilty for moving, but this is my time, and I need to give my child the best upbringing I can possibly give.

Sometimes I just wish I could live my life without worrying what will happen to those I love.